play and pleasure as medicine

Hi pretty human Lately, it feels like many of us are carrying a WHOLE LOT MORE than usual. Even if nothing dramatic is happening directly in our personal lives, the wider world can often feel like it’s on fire. Tense. Unpredictable. Our nervous system feels it. With everything these men in power are doing and the ongoing devastation and instability in the Middle East, the collective stress load is HEAVY. Fear, rage, grief, uncertainty move through media, conversations, and the emotional climate around us. Many of us, especially helpers, activists, those living in war torn countries, and all the sensitive people, feel this weight somatically. Shoulders tighten. Breath shortens. Systems brace. Nervous systems are holding more than they were designed to carry alone and at speeds that we weren’t evolved to. This is exactly when taking care of ourselves and each other becomes essential, not optional. And this is also why play and pleasure are not trivial. They are a big fuck you to systems that benefit from us being exhausted, numb, disconnected, and easier to control. When we reconnect to our playfulness and pleasure, the brain, nervous system, muscles, fascia, and cells get the message ” right now it’s safe enough to feel, to experience, to be alive”. This is were we come out of survival mode and into more choice, agency, and embodied presence – this is how we interrupt that pattern. We become harder to silence, harder to make feel powerless, harder to polarize,, harder to keep small. Pleasure is activism. Feeling good in a world that wasn’t built for us to feel is radical. It is claiming that we are not meant to be numb but stay connected to ourselves, our bodies, our human hearts, our divine spark, and this mycelium web of connection with all of life. Play and pleasure when used with intention are therapeutic, not an escape from reality.  They help us build capacity to be with reality. Pleasure, in particular, is a natural nervous system regulator—especially for female nervous systems. Oxytocin helps us experience being fully alive in the present moment though our senses, to be in stillness without collapse, find rest without overwhelm, and signal to our bodies that we are not alone: “I’m here. I’m present. You are safe enough to move.” Microdoses of pleasure are able to expand the window of capacity, letting the nervous system know it can tolerate activation, stillness, and presence simultaneously.  Pleasure is not just sexual, it is any sensation that feels good. It’s a communication between mind and body, nervous system and brain, and it is essential for resilience and regeneration. This Saturday in this month’s Centered in Chaos, our virtual somatic movement ritual space,  the invitation is to meet yourself exactly where you’re at, and then, if you want to, lean into play and pleasure. Not as a way to fix yourself or bypass what’s here, but as a radical act of  moving in playful feel good ways to come home to your inner power of Self-authority, for both your own and collective wellbeing, together. When we have enough safety, support and space in play, the body experiences activation ( sympathetic nervous system stress charge) in a contained way. We can move and discharge stress energy without overstimulation or overwhelm. We learn we can feel intensity – the fast heartbeat, the fast breath, the muscle contraction, and still stay present and in our bodies. When we microdose  pleasure in a contained way we learn we can be in stillness and feel pleasurable sensations without it overwhelming our system and collapsing. Because its only when we feel safe and supported enough to experience direct felt experience ( sensation) in the present moment can emotions and stress cycels complete. It’s like a wave, the erngy rises and eventually it will come down and complete naturally if we have capacity to stay with it – and unfortunately many of us do not YET have enough capacity from experienced trauma, from ongoing systemic violence, from living in this highly overstimulating and overwhelming fast paced post capitalistic and patriarchal world.  Stress isn’t bad, it’s life force energy that arises to help us respond, act, protect and adat to life. It’s only problematic when it doesn’t complete and this is predominant in our cultures because so many of us have been conditioned to not trust our body, to disconnect form our sensations/emotions, to live in our heads, to override impulses and instincts, so that charge stays buzzing inside and often we dont even realise it because it feels so normal ( or we call it anxiety).  The good news is: the stress cycel completes when we ALLOW the nervous system to do what it naturally wants to do: mobilize energy, express it, digest the experience/emotion, and come back to the mode of healing, growing, and regeneration. . Here’s another cool thing about being playful, it also helps us loosen cultural conditioning and the masks we earned to wear to be safe, to be loved, to belong and feel worthy. The good girl. The always-ready one. The one holding everything together. The one who learned to freeze, shrink, or stay quiet to stay safe. Through pleasure and curiosity, the body begins to slowly thaw and unfreeze. We reconnect to parts of us that we once had to hide, the parts that are spontaneous, expressive, wild, messy, angry, and our inner baddie =) play and pleasure were never luxuries. They were our birthright. But many of us were conditioned, shamed, or scared out of them. As little ones, we depended on others for survival. Connection meant safety. So we learned quickly what kept us loved, accepted, and protected. We adapted. We performed. We became “good.” And sometimes that meant abandoning parts of ourselves. That made sense then. It was intelligent. It was protective. AND we are not that small anymore. Today, there is more choice. More agency. More room to explore with who we are when we’re not only organizing…
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You Can’t Outsmart Your Nervous System: The Power of Feeling, Moving, and Befriending Your Emotions

Emotions: Your Body’s Inner Compass

Emotions are energy in motion—e-motion—designed to flow naturally through your body. They’re not problems to fix or weaknesses to overcome; they’re your body’s way of communicating its needs, signaling safety or threat, and helping you process the world.

Even emotions like anger, sadness, grief, or shame—often labeled as “bad” or “unacceptable”—aren’t flaws. They’re evolutionary tools meant to guide and protect you. The challenge arises when we interrupt this natural flow, either by overthinking or suppressing them, leaving emotions stuck in the body.

Why Humans Are Stuck in Their Heads

For most of human history, humans lived in small, tight-knit communities. Like other mammals, we’re wired for connection and belonging—this wasn’t just a luxury; it was key to survival. Being part of a group ensured safety, resources, and emotional support. Feeling seen, understood, and cared for regulated our nervous systems and helped us thrive.

But as we shifted away from communal living during the agricultural revolution, hyper-individualism and isolation replaced connection and cooperation. Productivity, ownership, and competition took center stage, pulling us away from the natural rhythms of life and into a state of constant doing.

This shift disrupted more than our social fabric—it rewired our nervous systems. When connection is absent, our body perceives it as danger. As Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains, social connection activates the ventral vagal system, which supports calm, safety, and compassion. Without it, we default to survival states like fight, flight, freeze, fawn,, or shutdown, cutting ourselves off from others and even from ourselves.

relationships are HARD…AND can also be an opportunity to heal our deepest wounds

Intimate relationships can be a sacred portal into healing these past emotional wounds of our younger self aka the inner child.

Shadow work dla kobiet

Be sexy but don’t be a slut. Lose weight, but be curvy. Be vulnerable, but don’t show emotion. Be confident, but don’t be a bitch. Be authentic, but don’t show too much. Be ready to please, but don’t give your power away. Be smart, but not too smart. Be natural, but shave your body hair. Be strong, but stay soft. Be bold, but stay silent. Be original, but don’t be too much. Be tame, but also a freak. To be a lady they said… Impossible. Here’s some thoughts about how we can come into a life of wholeness + authenticity as women👇 When we embrace our shadow and befriend our body, we start to unravel the conditioning + break free from all these societal “norms” and “shoulds” of the “role” of a woman. These layers of programming keep us stuck and disconnected from what’s raw, real, and authentically ours – the intelligence of our animal body + the intuition  of our heart, in other words the wisdom of our authentic embodied Self. These rules and impossible expectations create inner pressure, cycles of self-doubt, protective fragmentation, nervous system dysregulation and dis-ease. It’s no wonder that 80% of people with autoimmune are women, or that we are twice as likely to develop PTSD. Somatic shadow work invites us to get compassionately curious and courageously vulnerable, feeling into what we’ve been taught to ignore- our inner voice and the felt sense of our wise animal body. This is where embodied transformation begins.  It’s a journey of being guided by sacred rage, confronting our hidden fears, and allowing ourselves to grieve unmet needs and wounds. This makes space for contacting our deepest desires, the wisdom of our body, and bringing home those orphaned parts of Self we may have once hidden to belong, be loved, to stay safe and connected. It’s in our human animal nature to share, care, and belong to our herd, and at the same time, fitting in to a toxic tight little distorted BOX is not the same thing as truly belonging to an embracing community, just for being you.  You belong here just as you are.  You belong for being YOU. There’s nothing you have to do, to prove your worth. It’s ok to disappoint others sometimes, so you can tend and befriend your SELF. When we begin to untangle these emotional wounds and unravel the societal shoulds, we step into a life of wholeness, liberation, authenticity, and deep self intimacy + enoughness. We begin to accept ourselves fully, just as we are without the need to be externally validated – that’s freedom🩷 What parts of you are wanting to be witnessed? What might you need to feel safe enough to express + give them voice? check out this video that always brings me to tears on YouTube shine light on your shadow, start your somatic coaching journey explore all my offerings

Zapraszając ciało do coachingu: potęga integracyjnego coachingu somatycznego

what the heck does somatic mean anyway? The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma meaning the body.  The term “somatics” was first coined by Thomas Hannah in the 1970’s, however long before this kind of mind-body work cam about in the “west”, ancient and indigenous lineages have long known about it and it’s importance. So I would like to just pause here for a moment and recognize that somatics are heavily influence by eastern, indigenous, and shamanic cultures but often over looked, culturally-appropriated and not given their proper credit.  So from a social justice, anti-racist, and trauma-informed point of view you could say that the term somatics is the product of white washing and colonization.  The idea of the embodiment is nothing new. Our ancestors have been dancing, singing, connecting, growing, and healing through different mind-body-spirit rituals since we were expressing ourselves through drawings in caves. It all changed around the time Decartes said “I think therefor I am”, and the mind and brain sat up on a pedestal. We started to disregard the body as a tool or machine, and the spirit was thrown away along with it. Welcome to the era of disembodiment. Today there isn’t just one but many different somatic frameworks, lineages, and modalities, and even though they are different they all agree in the importance of including the body in our life and connecting to all of it’s inherent wisdom, intuition, and instinct. In general, somatics is the study and practice of the mind and body working together to enhance the human experience though inner dialogue with the emergent wisdom and implicit cellular memory, meaning unconscious body memories. It’s a process of self discovery, self awareness, and cultivating the sense of interception, in other words learning to speak the language of the body from the inside out.  zooming out From a holistic perspective, our soma includes not just our animal body, but also our mind, and perhaps even the spirit. So the soma isn’t just the biological body, it is the whole, complex, living organism. This includes the conscious and unconscious mind and all of its thoughts, beliefs, internal narratives, imagery, and symbols, as well as the body’s sensations, feelings, emotions, and nervous system states. The thing is, our soma doesn’t live in a vacuum. We are biopsychosocial beings, meaning besides the biology and psychology, there is also the in between relational world. And so all of these things and our life experiences literally “shape” us, the shape of our body, our actions and non actions, our relationship to our Self, to other people, to the world around us. And so this somatic shape of ours also holds our learned behaviours, automatic embodied habits, relational strategies, societal “norms”, masks, survival roles, protective parts, younger child parts, and many different adaptive patterns living and running our life from the shadows. If we were to zoom out a bit more we might recognise that besides the obvious impact of family dynamics and other close relationships on our soma, there are also the cultural and collective layers. So depending on where we are born we may inherit certain beliefs, norms and traditions.  If we zoom out even more we might recognize how somatics also invite us to look at the impact of systems and institutions that operate in our westernized dominant culture. And depending on what you look life, your ability, your skin color, your income, your gender, your sexual orientation, you will have less privilege and be set up to suffer more injustice and oppression. And if again we zoom even further out we are invited to look at the collective, environmental and perhaps even spiritual landscapes. Here we might see that our soma is also shaped by our ancestors, all their lived experiences, and the history of the culture we were raised in (intergenerational trauma and resilience). We could also see that our relationship to the planet, nature, the animals and plants also reflects in how we are shaped. After all we are made from the same stuff as all other living beings on this planet, and yet many of us forget and treat nature as something to conquer and dominate. And if this is in your belief, our soma to many people is also tied into the energetic, ethereal and spiritual realms, but that’s a whole other long topic. set up your free discovery call! inviting the body into coaching Most coaching out there centres around mindset, beliefs and story but understanding something alone often isn’t enough to create embodied transformation.   Somatic approaches are gaining popularity over the last 15 years because they can bring about positive transformation more quickly – via the nervous system.  A whopping 80% of the information that travels to the brain comes from the body via the vagus nerve and only 20% of the information travels from the brain to the body. Much of the western world has become disembodied, putting the mind on a pedestal, but when were disconnected from our body, we lose out on important information , which is sent from the body to our conscious mind.  Neuroscience studies have shown that the brain and body are interwoven – we cannot change one without the other. Ancient and indigenous traditions have always understood the importance of inner work, the transformational potential of repetitive movement on the body and the impact it has on the mind.  The good news is through neroplasticity we can reprogram the brain, rewire the nervous system and reshape the body, not only during the activity but in all areas of our life. This is embodied transformation, When we are using our felt sense, parts of the brain responsible for emotional processing, self-awareness, and interception (inner felt sense) come online, which means we tap into the possibility of embodied transformation of neurophysiological, emotional, and postural patterns. When we work only cognitively (with story, mindset, beliefs and other content) this isn’t possible. my approach to somatic coaching My personal approach to Somatic Coaching is trauma-informed and integrative, which means I do not…
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