STOP Telling People To Regulate Their F*cking Nervous System!

When Calm Becomes the New Colonizer
(A somatic love letter to the misunderstood nervous system)

Let’s be honest — the phrase “just regulate your nervous system” has become the new spiritual gold standard.
But regulate into what, and for whose comfort?

When “calm” becomes the only acceptable nervous system state, we start worshipping stillness and banishing aliveness.
We silence rage, grief, and trembling — the very expressions that are trying to complete the body’s stress cycle.

The nervous system was never designed to stay calm.
It was designed to move.
To pulse, to shake, to cry, to roar.

True regulation isn’t control — it’s capacity.
It’s the ability to flow between activation and rest without losing connection to yourself or the world.

And yet, most of us have learned to shut that flow down.
Through cognitive override.
Cultural conditioning.
Over-coping.
“Good vibes only.”

When calm becomes compliance, healing becomes performance.
And we lose touch with the wild, intelligent organism that knows exactly how to complete what never got to.

Your Body Is Not Broken: Somatic Healing in Late Stage Capitalism

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You Can’t Outsmart Your Nervous System: The Power of Feeling, Moving, and Befriending Your Emotions

Emotions: Your Body’s Inner Compass

Emotions are energy in motion—e-motion—designed to flow naturally through your body. They’re not problems to fix or weaknesses to overcome; they’re your body’s way of communicating its needs, signaling safety or threat, and helping you process the world.

Even emotions like anger, sadness, grief, or shame—often labeled as “bad” or “unacceptable”—aren’t flaws. They’re evolutionary tools meant to guide and protect you. The challenge arises when we interrupt this natural flow, either by overthinking or suppressing them, leaving emotions stuck in the body.

Why Humans Are Stuck in Their Heads

For most of human history, humans lived in small, tight-knit communities. Like other mammals, we’re wired for connection and belonging—this wasn’t just a luxury; it was key to survival. Being part of a group ensured safety, resources, and emotional support. Feeling seen, understood, and cared for regulated our nervous systems and helped us thrive.

But as we shifted away from communal living during the agricultural revolution, hyper-individualism and isolation replaced connection and cooperation. Productivity, ownership, and competition took center stage, pulling us away from the natural rhythms of life and into a state of constant doing.

This shift disrupted more than our social fabric—it rewired our nervous systems. When connection is absent, our body perceives it as danger. As Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains, social connection activates the ventral vagal system, which supports calm, safety, and compassion. Without it, we default to survival states like fight, flight, freeze, fawn,, or shutdown, cutting ourselves off from others and even from ourselves.

Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Can’t: Implicit Memories and Somatic Healing

When it comes to stress and trauma, your body is like that friend who remembers every awkward detail about the…
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THE SHADOW SIDE OF SELF-CARE… АКА ТОХІС ENTITLEMENT

We all know the importance of self-care, especially in our dominant culture that tends to push us towards constant productivity…
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relationships are HARD…AND can also be an opportunity to heal our deepest wounds

Intimate relationships can be a sacred portal into healing these past emotional wounds of our younger self aka the inner child.

o połączeniu umysłu i ciała, i dlaczego jest to ważne na każdym poziomie

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complex trauma

Czym jest złożona trauma?

This text is about complex trauma, also known as developmental trauma or C-PTSD, it’s relational aspect and how it differers…
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Przestań upokarzać swój wstyd!

Often times feelings of shame and trauma can be intertwined so it would make sense that if we feel shame,…
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The Sister Wound, czyli jak możemy zacząć uzdrawiać ranę która być może odczuwamy w relacji z innymi kobietami

Sister, woman, goddess who knows, we don’t have to compete with each other. We don’t have to mistrust or envy…
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