STOP Telling People To Regulate Their F*cking Nervous System!

When Calm Becomes the New Colonizer
(A somatic love letter to the misunderstood nervous system)

Let’s be honest — the phrase “just regulate your nervous system” has become the new spiritual gold standard.
But regulate into what, and for whose comfort?

When “calm” becomes the only acceptable nervous system state, we start worshipping stillness and banishing aliveness.
We silence rage, grief, and trembling — the very expressions that are trying to complete the body’s stress cycle.

The nervous system was never designed to stay calm.
It was designed to move.
To pulse, to shake, to cry, to roar.

True regulation isn’t control — it’s capacity.
It’s the ability to flow between activation and rest without losing connection to yourself or the world.

And yet, most of us have learned to shut that flow down.
Through cognitive override.
Cultural conditioning.
Over-coping.
“Good vibes only.”

When calm becomes compliance, healing becomes performance.
And we lose touch with the wild, intelligent organism that knows exactly how to complete what never got to.

Your Body Is Not Broken: Somatic Healing in Late Stage Capitalism

Capitalism whispers: “Your worth = your productivity.” Patriarchy whispers: “Dominate. Extract. Obey.” And your body? Your body whispers something else entirely— but it’s harder to hear in a world that profits from your disconnection.     How Capitalism Shapes Us Before We’re Even Born   Capitalism and socio-economic pressures shape us before we even take our first breath. For tens of thousands of years, humans lived in small, connected tribes—where the whole village raised the children. Today, most parents are left isolated, drowning in financial stress, forced to succeed in the rat race just to survive. And here’s the truth: capitalism doesn’t just shape culture “out there.” It literally wires into our nervous systems “in here.” A caretaker’s ability to regulate their own nervous system teaches a baby’s system how to regulate. But when parents are overworked, under-supported, and chronically stressed about money, survival, and productivity—this regulation becomes nearly impossible. The baby feels this. The baby absorbs this. And it shapes brain development, the immune system, emotional regulation, and even how that child will one day relate to others and to themselves.     Trauma Isn’t Always “One Big Event”   We often think of trauma as abuse or catastrophic events, but it can also be the invisible, repeated stresses of disconnection—the moments of neglect, emotional absence, or relational rupture that layer over time. This is complex trauma. It teaches the nervous system:   The world is unsafe. My needs are too much. I must perform or please to belong. I am inherently bad, wrong, or broken. This is how systems like capitalism, patriarchy, consumerism, and colonialism live inside us. They thrive when we are sick, exhausted, disconnected, and ashamed—because then we are easier to control.     The Weight of the Shadow   Every expectation. Every “should.” Every silenced impulse. Every swallowed truth. Every unshed tear. They don’t just vanish. They live in the body— in fascia, in gut, in posture, in jaw. They live in the parts of us carrying internalized beliefs and survival strategies. This is why the grind feels endless. This is why shame feels like home. This is why collapse feels like rest. Not because you are broken— but because your body is adapting to survive a culture that constantly overrides its wisdom.     The Wound of Disconnection   Most of the crises we face today—burnout, climate collapse, polarization, violence—stem from one root wound: disconnection.   From our bodies. From each other. From the Earth. And yet: you are already whole. You belong simply because you exist. We are not separate. We are interwoven—like the mycelium networks in the forest, built on mutual care, reciprocity, and support. People aren’t the problem. The systems are. And not every body has the same privilege or access to resources. Which is why creating safe-enough spaces—for rest, play, expression, truth—is not a luxury, it’s a birthright.     How the System Lives in Your Soma   Capitalism isn’t just an external system. It literally shapes us from the inside out:   Muscles contract. Jaws clench. Stress loops repeat. Inflammation builds. Survival becomes the baseline. Collapse feels like rest. Pleasure feels unsafe. Connection feels dangerous. Toxic shame feels familiar. We disconnect from the body’s signals, the mind speeds up to “fix” it, and we end up in the disembodiment loop. This is the somatic shadow—the invisible baggage of systems we didn’t choose but still carry in our tissues.     The Polycrisis in the Body   The planetary polycrisis—climate collapse, war, mass burnout, rising polarization— isn’t separate from our personal crises. They live in the same nervous system. Humans are apex predators who forgot they are also mammals—wired for connection, community, and reciprocity. When our needs for safety, belonging, and dignity are unmet, survival mode takes over: me vs. you, us vs. them, dominate or be dominated. This is why we are sick. This is why the Earth is sick. Because the same extractive logic lives in our bodies.     Somatic Healing: Embodied Liberation   Here’s the thing: your body isn’t broken. It’s adapting. Protecting. Communicating. Somatic healing is not about fixing yourself or buying another “self-improvement” solution the system profits from. It’s about remembering. It’s about listening. It’s about slowly meeting the parts of you that learned to collapse, to hustle, to numb, to hide— and welcoming them back home with compassion. This is embodied liberation. This is shadow integration. This is how we stop blaming ourselves for what systems have written into our bodies—and reclaim self-trust, choice, agency, power. When we resource enough safety, the body knows how to complete the stress cycle. It shakes. It cries. It softens. It finds rhythm again. It remembers connection. And in remembering— we reclaim what capitalism wants us to forget: our humanity. Our aliveness. Our interdependence.     Somatic Shadow Work Prompts   Pause here. Notice which line landed in your body. Drop a word, image, or sensation in your journal. Here are some prompts to deepen the practice:   If capitalism or patriarchy had a shape or texture inside me, what would it be? Where does my body feel pulled to contract, hustle, or hide? If my nervous system could speak right now, what would it say? What small act of softness—or rebellion—does my body long for? What conditions would help my body feel safe enough to connect to its own wisdom? What parts of me need more space, rest, play, movement, connection, or pleasure? Imagine your embodied transformation rippling out into the collective—what shifts?     Coming Back Into Wholeness   Your body is not a machine to optimize. It is a piece of Earth. It remembers rhythms, cycles, seasons. When we feel safe enough in our own skin, we access:   Gut instincts + primal impulses. Compassion + inherent worth. The deep interconnection of all life. Somatic healing isn’t just individual—it’s collective. It’s shining light on the shadow of systems. It’s remembering what our ancestors knew: healing is communal, ecological, embodied. This is what it…
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You Can’t Outsmart Your Nervous System: The Power of Feeling, Moving, and Befriending Your Emotions

Emotions: Your Body’s Inner Compass

Emotions are energy in motion—e-motion—designed to flow naturally through your body. They’re not problems to fix or weaknesses to overcome; they’re your body’s way of communicating its needs, signaling safety or threat, and helping you process the world.

Even emotions like anger, sadness, grief, or shame—often labeled as “bad” or “unacceptable”—aren’t flaws. They’re evolutionary tools meant to guide and protect you. The challenge arises when we interrupt this natural flow, either by overthinking or suppressing them, leaving emotions stuck in the body.

Why Humans Are Stuck in Their Heads

For most of human history, humans lived in small, tight-knit communities. Like other mammals, we’re wired for connection and belonging—this wasn’t just a luxury; it was key to survival. Being part of a group ensured safety, resources, and emotional support. Feeling seen, understood, and cared for regulated our nervous systems and helped us thrive.

But as we shifted away from communal living during the agricultural revolution, hyper-individualism and isolation replaced connection and cooperation. Productivity, ownership, and competition took center stage, pulling us away from the natural rhythms of life and into a state of constant doing.

This shift disrupted more than our social fabric—it rewired our nervous systems. When connection is absent, our body perceives it as danger. As Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains, social connection activates the ventral vagal system, which supports calm, safety, and compassion. Without it, we default to survival states like fight, flight, freeze, fawn,, or shutdown, cutting ourselves off from others and even from ourselves.

THE SHADOW SIDE OF SELF-CARE… АКА ТОХІС ENTITLEMENT

We all know the importance of self-care, especially in our dominant culture that tends to push us towards constant productivity + external rewards, often leaving us feeling guilty to slow down, rest, feel pleasure and take time for ourselves… BUT IS THERE A FLIP SIDE TO THIS? When we see ourselves as Separate, it can be natural to feel threatened by “others” and to focus on only “me and my healing” which can sometimes move from helpful, towards the shadow side of hyper-individualism, ego inflation, and toxic entitlement. This isn’t something “bad” or evil, it’s how we adapted and once LEARNED to protect ourselves. it makes so much sense. And at the same time, if want to truly feel safe, connecting to our body, nature, other humans, and feeling that we BELONG here is necessary. as mammals we are wired for survival through connection. So once we start to feel safe enough in our body, it could be supportive to start to remember our INTERCONNECTEDNESS with all life or like Pando which is the worlds largest living organism with an estimated 47,000 stems that appear as individual trees, but are connected by a root system that spans 106 acres. each of its stems has the same genes and it’s huge interconnected root system coordinates energy production, defense and regeneration. Collectively we have forgotten what our ancestors have always known, we are not seperate but part of this larger ecosystem web of life. Feeling seperate is the source of our pain, fears, and urge to dominate and control as a species, realizing our interconnectedness with all of life can be a path towards collective healing and a hope for a brighter future for ALL. If forest ecosystems can thrive based on cooperation and support, why can’t we humans do the same?

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