trauma healing Archives - Spiritual Bish

I don’t get angry I grow a tumor instead

październik 1, 2024

That was a quote from Gabor Mate’s book “When the body says NO”, which highlighted his findings as a physician working in palliative care, addressing all The similarities in groups of people with certain dus-eases like cancer or auto-immune. And as I read this book, I recognized myself and intuitively felt it in my gut as being true for me, as someone who was diagnosed with cancer 7 years ago. Gabor goes on to explain that new science has been showing us that the repression of anger is a major risk factor for disease because it increases physiological stress on the WHOLE organism. In other words, holding this energy of anger inside stresses out our whole body. In our dominat culture it’s commonly thought that getting angry is what causes us stress,you know “good vibes only” and all that.. and sure it does in the moment, but it’s the interrupted stress response and unexperienced anger that is the PROBLEM. Anger isn’t our enemy, it’s our friend. Anger, is what is meant to warn us when we are unsafe, it’s a cue to set boundaries and claim our space. Anger is a wise messenger that lets us know when we’re let down because our needs aren’t being met, and when to ROAR and stick up for ourselves. Anger signals about our passions and desires. Anger keeps us SAFE, from real or perceived threat. Sometimes the threat lives on in our body from early childhood wounds, and so anger can be a fierce protector of these more vulnerable younger parts of us. Anger is a life force, our smpathetic nervous system, our SURVIVAL. Many of us have grown up thinking that anger is something BAD, impolite, a burden, shameful, sinful, violent, dangerous, or that it’s just “too much”. This can sometimes stem from early life attachmet wounds, trauma, OR it can be caused by all the conditioning, socialization, and gender training by our dominat culture aka “how to be a good cultured human”. But the truth is anger is an essential human mammal emotion, like could you imagine a bear not having it? Do you think a mama bear will stop to ask her friend if she should get angry at the wolf that’s trying to scare her cubs? No she instictively will react and protect, unfortuently most of us humans have disconnected from these impulses, our instincts, our biology, our wise animal body and are living up in our HEADS. Often times anger is also something that as women and other marginalized communities we have learned to bury deep within,to mask, to hold in, while painting a fake smile on our face and appeasing in order to stay safe. What a genius survival skill, AND at the same time this unexpressed anger (survival stress) is making us SICK. But how can we feel safe enough to feel + express it in a world that is NOT SAFE for us to be authentic? So it’s no wonder that women are twice as likely to have PTSD than men. That African American women are three times more likely to develop lupus than white women. That Native Americans have the highest rates of substance use disorders compared to other ethnic groups. This is more than genes and homrones, it’s the impact of living in this toxic culture we have created as a species. Anger is a life-force. It’s something all life holds within itself. It’s what makes a seed grow into a flower and a puppy into a dog. It gives us energy to grow and move forward in life. This life force of anger isn’t just something “bad” or evil like violence and rage as many of us may have been taught early on, it’s on a continuum. Rage and violence is actually what often happens if we’ve been hurt and internalized it, if we weren’t safe enough to express ourselves, to experience the emotion and be mirrored back, to make a boundary, have autonomy or choice. That’s when we start to turn it in on ourselves like I did for most of my life, and eventually externalizing, exploding, and projecting it outwards. The first step of reclaiming our birthright of this healthy aggression and life force is to start to arrive back in our body and learn to speak it’s language – slowly and intentionally. You might notice, what happens when you get angry? Do you tend to override it by taking deep breaths, by plastering a smile on your face, by going up into your head and thinking about it, or saying you are “fine” if someone asks you what’s wrong? What would it be like to instead take a SACRED PAUSE (if it’s safe to do so) to notice and feel this healthy aggression, this life force activating inside you as it is? Is there tingling, tensing, a faster breath maybe? How do you know its anger? And would you need in this moment to feel safe enough to connect to and express it? What wants to happen next? Is there a movement or a sound that wants to come out? What would it be like to follow that impulse? 🙂

relationships are HARD…AND can also be an opportunity to heal our deepest wounds

wrzesień 5, 2024

Intimate relationships can be a sacred portal into healing these past emotional wounds of our younger self aka the inner child.

Zapraszając ciało do coachingu: potęga integracyjnego coachingu somatycznego

maj 17, 2024

what the heck does somatic mean anyway? The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma meaning the body. The term “somatics” was first coined by Thomas Hannah in the 1970’s, however long before this kind of mind-body work cam about in the “west”, ancient and indigenous lineages have long known about it and it’s importance. So I would like to just pause here for a moment and recognize that somatics are heavily influence by eastern, indigenous, and shamanic cultures but often over looked, culturally-appropriated and not given their proper credit. So from a social justice, anti-racist, and trauma-informed point of view you could say that the term somatics is the product of white washing and colonization. The idea of the embodiment is nothing new. Our ancestors have been dancing, singing, connecting, growing, and healing through different mind-body-spirit rituals since we were expressing ourselves through drawings in caves. It all changed around the time Decartes said “I think therefor I am”, and the mind and brain sat up on a pedestal. We started to disregard the body as a tool or machine, and the spirit was thrown away along with it. Welcome to the era of disembodiment. Today there isn’t just one but many different somatic frameworks, lineages, and modalities, and even though they are different they all agree in the importance of including the body in our life and connecting to all of it’s inherent wisdom, intuition, and instinct. In general, somatics is the study and practice of the mind and body working together to enhance the human experience though inner dialogue with the emergent wisdom and implicit cellular memory, meaning unconscious body memories. It’s a process of self discovery, self awareness, and cultivating the sense of interception, in other words learning to speak the language of the body from the inside out. zooming out From a holistic perspective, our soma includes not just our animal body, but also our mind, and perhaps even the spirit. So the soma isn’t just the biological body, it is the whole, complex, living organism. This includes the conscious and unconscious mind and all of its thoughts, beliefs, internal narratives, imagery, and symbols, as well as the body’s sensations, feelings, emotions, and nervous system states. The thing is, our soma doesn’t live in a vacuum. We are biopsychosocial beings, meaning besides the biology and psychology, there is also the in between relational world. And so all of these things and our life experiences literally “shape” us, the shape of our body, our actions and non actions, our relationship to our Self, to other people, to the world around us. And so this somatic shape of ours also holds our learned behaviours, automatic embodied habits, relational strategies, societal “norms”, masks, survival roles, protective parts, younger child parts, and many different adaptive patterns living and running our life from the shadows. If we were to zoom out a bit more we might recognise that besides the obvious impact of family dynamics and other close relationships on our soma, there are also the cultural and collective layers. So depending on where we are born we may inherit certain beliefs, norms and traditions. If we zoom out even more we might recognize how somatics also invite us to look at the impact of systems and institutions that operate in our westernized dominant culture. And depending on what you look life, your ability, your skin color, your income, your gender, your sexual orientation, you will have less privilege and be set up to suffer more injustice and oppression. And if again we zoom even further out we are invited to look at the collective, environmental and perhaps even spiritual landscapes. Here we might see that our soma is also shaped by our ancestors, all their lived experiences, and the history of the culture we were raised in (intergenerational trauma and resilience). We could also see that our relationship to the planet, nature, the animals and plants also reflects in how we are shaped. After all we are made from the same stuff as all other living beings on this planet, and yet many of us forget and treat nature as something to conquer and dominate. And if this is in your belief, our soma to many people is also tied into the energetic, ethereal and spiritual realms, but that’s a whole other long topic. set up your free discovery call! inviting the body into coaching Most coaching out there centres around mindset, beliefs and story but understanding something alone often isn’t enough to create embodied transformation. Somatic approaches are gaining popularity over the last 15 years because they can bring about positive transformation more quickly – via the nervous system. A whopping 80% of the information that travels to the brain comes from the body via the vagus nerve and only 20% of the information travels from the brain to the body. Much of the western world has become disembodied, putting the mind on a pedestal, but when were disconnected from our body, we lose out on important information , which is sent from the body to our conscious mind. Neuroscience studies have shown that the brain and body are interwoven – we cannot change one without the other. Ancient and indigenous traditions have always understood the importance of inner work, the transformational potential of repetitive movement on the body and the impact it has on the mind. The good news is through neroplasticity we can reprogram the brain, rewire the nervous system and reshape the body, not only during the activity but in all areas of our life. This is embodied transformation, When we are using our felt sense, parts of the brain responsible for emotional processing, self-awareness, and interception (inner felt sense) come online, which means we tap into the possibility of embodied transformation of neurophysiological, emotional, and postural patterns. When we work only cognitively (with story, mindset, beliefs and other content) this isn’t possible. my approach to somatic coaching My personal approach to Somatic Coaching is trauma-informed and integrative, which means I do not…
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Joga ŚWIADOMA TRAUMY : uwolnienie traumy z ciała

maj 8, 2024

The original yoga for trauma Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) is very different than the yoga you may have seen online or experienced in a typical yoga studio. TCTSY is a somatic therapy for folkx living with traumatic body memories, in the presence of someone who understands what it’s like and supports them in coming home to themselves and befriending their body without judgement or shame. There are no hidden agendas, goals, pressure to perform, should’s, must’s, can’ts, or dogma, and it centres around the knowing that: YOU ARE THE EXPERT OF YOUR EXPERIENCE. Which means that your choosing is more important that doing (or not doing), and that the only teacher here is the experience of what it feels like to be in YOUR body. My only purpose is to support and accompany you in your process by facilitating TCTSY. Who is TCTSY for? TCTSY was initially developed for individuals with complex trauma (C-PTSD) and PTSD, but you do not require a formal diagnosis to participate. It is designed for anyone who has difficulties in the relationship they have with their body or identifies as having experienced trauma, whether it be physical, verbal, or sexual abuse, neglect, intergenerational or historical trauma, systemic oppression (like racism, misoginy, homophobia, transphobia), accumulated chronic stress, or any other extreme event that you feel overwhelmed your living body, mind, and nervous system. You do not have to have any prior yoga experience. TCTSY is accessible to everyone and the practice is always tailored to your individual needs. Fill out this questionnaire to set up your free consultation Wypełnij ten formularz aby umówić się na bezpłatną konsultacje You don’t have to have any experience with yoga, or be strong, flexible or able-bodied. Every body is welcome here. What happens during a TCTSY offering? Opportunities to be in your body, to notice your breath, and/or pause in stillness in the present moment. There are no physical adjustments or assists. I won’t be looking at you. I will be sitting in my chair or on my mat practicing along with you. Invitational Language -I will never tell you what to do with your body. You are in charge and the expert of how you decide to move or not move your body. Chasing not to do something is just as important as choosing to do it. Choice Making- Opportunities to make choices based on what you’re noticing or feeling(or not) in your body. I will offer different accessible options and you are welcome to choose and explore whatever works for you. Interoception – Opportunities to notice and experience your felt sense, meaning awareness of what you feel inside your body, as you are still, moving, and/or transition between shapes. Opportunities to explore the survival stress (trauma responses) that may still be alive within your body, in a safe enough environment. This may provide insight to what you might be experiencing in your body, how you you might engage your body in the process of healing, and making empowered choices that move beyond surviving towards thriving. We will not be talking about your past or making meaning of emotions, or sensations. This might be a nice change if you feel talk therapy hasn’t been bringing you the relief you are looking for. trauma-sensitive yoga is NOT psychotherapy Trauma Healing Yoga TCTSY is not psychotherapy nor does it substitute it. It is a somatic therapy which works in a completely different way- bottom-up- meaning it involves befriending the language of the body: the sensations, feelings, and stored survival stress and implicit body memory. As a trauma-sensitive yoga facilitator, I don’t diagnose mental health disorders, we don’t talk about or process past trauma. TCTSY does not require you to be in psychotherapy as it’s a stand alone treatment. It is encouraged however to have some sort of support system – like a friend, partner, therapist, coach, spiritual guide etc- as working with the body in this way can bring up to surface implicit memories, so things like sensations, images, memories or emotions may emerge. TCTSY is an approach that creates a safe and non-judgmental atmosphere and by focusing on sensations originating from the body (interoception) as a source of information for making one’s own decisions, it also allows participants to restore the connection between the mind and the body and nurture a sense of agency, which is often weakened as a result of experiencing trauma. “The constant reminders to go at your own pace and to listen to your body for what it needs and when it’s ready to turn or how far it wants to turn that was super helpful and has extended in so many other places in my life. Yoga classes I have taken other places, I have heard people say, “You can push yourself; you don’t realize what your body can do. Just push it.” I feel like that’s the kind of thing I have been doing my whole life. What is so valuable about this yoga class is that it was not about pushing yourself. It was about letting yourself get there in your own time.” Core Principles How does TCTSY have potential to be healing? The 5 core principles of TCTSY support parts of the body-mind that may have been affected by trauma. Interception invites a titrated and deliberate contact with the felt sense, choice making and invitational language support autonomy and encourage self-exploration and agency, non-coersion and shared authentic experience create a safe enough space that’s the opposite of trauma, and create relational safety and attunement, TCTSY encourages making safe and deliberate contact with the body, which supports the natural process of nervous system regulation. The vagus nerves acts as a communication system between the brain and the body and vice versa. A whopping 80% of the nerve fibres send information from the body to the brain! ( only about 20% send info from the body to the brain). When the body starts to feel safer, so does the mind. Trauma often impacts the interoceptive regions…
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o połączeniu umysłu i ciała, i dlaczego jest to ważne na każdym poziomie

styczeń 12, 2024

The body-mind connection is powerful and it’s actually the link between your thoughts and your feelings and emotions, shaping how you think, feel, emote, sense and act. It’s like a constant exchange of info between your mind and body- not that they are separate anyway =) I’m sure you’ve noticed that physical state often if not always affects your thoughts, and your thoughts can impact how you feel. For instance, changing your posture from a contracted position to a more open and expansive one can actually boost your confidence and shift your mindset. It’s a two-way street. “if you don’t know how to say no, your body will say it for you through physical illnesses.” Understanding how our thoughts and emotions affect our body is crucial. More and more, people recognize that our mental well-being can deeply influence our physical health. Experts like Dr. Gabor Maté support this idea, shedding light on the vital mind-body connection. how they communicate Your mind and body talk to each other in two ways: the body sends messages to the brain, and the brain sends messages to the body. This chatting involves chemicals like hormones and neurotransmitters, and it also happens through the Vagus Nerve. About 80% of the messages going up to your brain come from the body! emotions adjust not only our mental, but also our bodily states. this image is from a 2013 study that focused on where people experience different emotions in the body. This research constituted the first “map” that illustrated how our emotions and our body are linked through sensations. You can learn more in the video below. body-mind integration “The goal of mind-body techniques is to regulate the stress response system so that balance and equilibrium can be maintained and sustained, to restore prefrontal cortex activity, to decrease amygdala activity, and to restore the normal activity of the HPA axis and locus ceruleus-sympathetic nervous system” (Selhub, 2007, p. 5) In other words, integrating the body + mind makes us more present, regulated, feeling safe and whole. Sensitivity as a superpower 🦸‍♀️ Most of us are living in this disembodied capitalist culture that actually rewards us for being disconnected from our body and from our feelings deeming it as “strong” and “keeping it together” , because this numbing and suppressing is what allows us to be more “productive”. But it takes true strength and courage to show up as your most authentic and vulnerable Self, showing that soft under belly as opposed to all the masks and armour we may wear. And it makes sense that our genius body-mind may adapted this way to self-protect if we’ve been hurt in the past, but the truth is not feeing and expressing our true feelings doesnt mean that they go away – they live on inside of us and keep on building up like a pressure cooker, impacting our whole system and down the line can actually contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and emotional turmoil to name a few. Embracing our emotions and feelings is an act of self-love and it’s exactly what these exiled vulnerable parts of us may actually need – to be seen, heard, acknowledged and validated – and until this happens, this unconscious shadow aspect of our ✨Self✨ will continue pulling our strings behind the curtains. ✨it’s important to know that if we’ve disconnected from feeling, there’s a good reason behind it and most often it’s to stay safe. A trauma-informed approach to this reconnection is to go SLOW and be gentle, because we’re not going for overwhelm here ♥️✨ overwhelm in our nervous system is how trauma happens. So it’s not about jumping head on, “sucking it up”, getting rid of, or quickly fixing these vulnerable parts of us but becoming WHOLE – or realising that you always have been whole in the first place- by coming home to your Self and gently shining our light of awareness on them, feeling into what it is they are actually communicating and need in this moment- that is integration. This is why working with the wisdom of the soma (body-mind) and ✨all our inner parts✨ is important, it’s a sacred portal into deeper insight, wellbeing, and embodied transformation ♥️ So the next time you notice you are feeling all the feels perhaps ask yourself: what are these feelings telling me? Does this emotion feel familiar? What does this part if me need in this moment? And maybe all it needs is a little sacred pause to just be with it, as it is, however it is ♥️ and if it feels authentic, maybe take a moment to celebrate yourSelf for feeling safe enough to notice and express this feeling in the first place! That’s big stuff <3 ancient wisdom meets modern science Science is just catching up to these ancient truths, that the body-mind connection is important on many levels, not only in physical and mental health but also the spiritual. Here’s some ways you can integrate and strengthen this connection: Embodiment practices Somatic coaching mindful yoga Shadow work Somatic parts work Embodied mindfulness Trauma sensitive yoga (TCTSY) intuitive movement sensual dance qui gong yoga nidra learning about your nervous system states spending time in nature creative expression “only you know what’s best for you” If you’re feeling called to start exploring the wisdom of your soma (body-mind) with my guidance and support, contact me HERE to learn about my 1:1 trauma-informed somatic coaching container for women or HERE to get your free consultation about TCTSY, the world’s only scientifically validated trauma healing model of yoga.

Czym jest złożona trauma?

grudzień 4, 2023

This text is about complex trauma, also known as developmental trauma or C-PTSD, it’s relational aspect and how it differers from the diagnosis of PTSD. I’ll also share a bit about my own process of healing and how I personally view it. what is trauma anyway? Depending on where you are in the world and who you ask, the definitions will vary. The view that I follow is the one that many of the world’s leading body-mind and trauma specialists have, which is that trauma is not in the event, but it’s what happens inside the body as a result, and if there wasn’t a caring empathetic other to help support us through it. I particularly like the way Dr. Albert Wong describes trauma in this article here in Psychology Today saying, “Trauma impacts much more than just our thoughts and actions. Trauma is far-reaching and systemic—it cuts us to our bones. It can dissolve our sense of identity, diminish our capacity to locate ourselves accurately in time and space, inhibit our tolerance for interpersonal relatedness, disrupt the coherence of our experience, impair our capacity for emotional regulation, and so much more.Trauma impacts much more than just our prefrontal cortex or our behavioral activation system. It impacts our whole being—and it must be treated from a whole being perspective. Importantly, any legitimate trauma treatment must consider all of our being—the entirety of our body-mind—not just our thoughts and behaviors, alone… A tidal change in our zeitgeist is slowly emerging. The importance of the body—and the felt experience therein, once again, is starting to rise.” Things that can cause trauma are big horrific events like war, accidents, natural disasters, operations, the death or loss of a loved one, assault, or sexual, physical and emotional abuse- it can be traumatic to go through it personally and we can also be impacted by trauma if it happens to someone we love. The truth is we are all complex, multi-layered, living beings and since we are all different, trauma and its impacts will also vary and depend on many factors. Two people can live through the same catastrophe and be effected differenty, one will bounce back quckly, and the other may suffer debilitating symptoms. Why, you may be wondering? IT’s not just the event, but our nervous system’s internal reaction to it. When something is too much, too fast too soon, or too little too late, is another way that trauma is often described. This will drastically vary from individual to individual, and according to the CDC ( Center for Disease Control and Prevention from the US) here’s some added layers that might contribute: generational embodiment/ historical trauma, social conditions/local context, and adverse childhood experiences which lead to disrupted neurodevelopment and social, emotional & cognitive impairment to name a few). Confusion of different names and diagnosis of trauma PTSD was the first official diagnosis of trauma and came about from American war Veterans. Before that, it was thought that it was a kind of mental weakness and that it just something made up, the said “it’s all in your head”. The diagnosis of PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder) consists of 3 main symptom clusters: re-experiencing of the trauma (for example nightmares, flashbacks), avoidance of reminders of trauma-related stimuli (for example places that reminded the person of the event, talking about the experience) and hypervigilance (for example easy startle, excessive attention to potential threat). In the US, the DSM has since that first 1980 diagnosis expanded the symptom profile to include 20 symptoms, 4 clusters and dissociation. According to Cambridge, “One consequence of this expansion has been that the possible symptom combinations allow for 636 120 ways to be diagnosed with DSM-5 PTSD, leading to potential complications in assessment and treatment planning.” In the US there have been efforts to make trauma less about symptoms and more about encompassing the totality of the pain and suffering of the human experience by creating new diagnosis like “developmental trauma” and complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), but at least in the US its complicated because of how the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) functions – if you don’t know what the problem is, follow the money and who is funding what, cough big Pharma cough. Besides the diagnosis of PTSD since 2018, the eleventh revision of the IDC-11 ( International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems) that is used here in Europe where I live, has added a new diagnosis of C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder). Well actually it may seem new, but decades ago Judith Herman was talking about the impact of chronic relational power dynamics and trauma in her research and her 1992 book Trauma and Recovery. Herman worked with mostly child and women survivors of abuse and atrocities that were relational and chronic in nature, before her trauma was mostly a diagnosis reserved for male Veterans. In The British Journal of Psychiatry Marylène Cloitre explains, “a long history of clinical observation that individuals who experienced chronic, repeated and prolonged traumas, such as childhood sexual abuse or domestic violence, tended to experience more complex reactions extending beyond those typically observed in PTSD”. According to the IDC-11 C-PTSD “ includes the three core elements of PTSD as well as three additional elements called disturbances in self-organisation that are pervasive and occur across various contexts: emotion regulation difficulties (for example problems calming down), negative self-concept (for example beliefs about self as worthless or a failure) and relationship difficulties (for example avoidance of relationships).” Some examples of complex trauma (C-PTSD) could include: • Childhood abuse or neglect • Domestic violence/sexual assault • Human trafficking • War or political conflict • Being chronically misgendered Recognising this is a step forward, at least in Europe, however there is still a big elephant in the room. Mainly, these diagnosis are mostly focused on “getting rid of the symptoms”, not on looking at and understanding the whole person- are the symptoms the problem or…
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Przestań upokarzać swój wstyd!

listopad 9, 2023

Often times feelings of shame and trauma can be intertwined so it would make sense that if we feel shame, we might want to get rid of it, perceiving it as something “bad”. But does this vilifying and shaming actually get rid of shame? We live in a culture that is obsessed with self-improvement and productivity which can often promote this ill treatment of parts of ourselves. When we are constantly being bombarded with “5 ways to get healthy” or “ do this to optimise your wellbeing”, it could be hard to not feel like you’re doing something wrong. As a person with complex trauma who grew up with parents who had their own unresolved wounds and trauma, I’ve always had a way of being that was really harsh on myself. But as I move forward on this 17th year of my healing journey, I’m able to be more and more compassionate, kind and curious to myself and yes, even to all those pesky parts of me which I always hated. From my own experience and from folks I’ve worked with I found that it is quite common to want to get rid of these shameful parts in hopes that it will bring some sort of resolution, perhaps resulting in more self-love, trauma resolution or healing and/or transforming deeply ingrained patterns, behaviors, strategies or conditioned tendencies. Then there’s those of us who might rather just pretend we don’t have any shame, detaching from our body so we don’t have to feel any of it. Either way, this kind of approach usually just continues the spiral of inner chaos and shaming the shame like a dog chasing it’s own tail. If we look at this from a somatic trauma-informed lense, what could sometimes happen is that trauma freezes these wounded parts of us in the past. And these frozen often times younger parts of us hold on to beliefs ( I am broken, It is always my fault) and emotions ( shame, fear, grief, unworthiness). It is quite normal that we don’t want to feel this pain of the past, so our soma ( nervous system and body-mind as a living organism) does it’s job of self-protection and works hard to keep all those parts hidden or exiled. This is where we might avoid by distracting ourselves with work or other “busyness”, ignore, numb out and detach from feeling our body, or shame ourselves – cue the inner critic or perfectionist part- which has become quite a prevalent way of being in our modern industrialised “western” world. We may think that by exiling these parts we will finally not have to feel any pain, discomfort, or distress by avoiding overwhelming emotions, bodily sensations, memories or beliefs. But the truth is this won’t make it all go away, it all just gets suppressed and thrown into a pressure cooker inside us just waiting to explode like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Healing and transformation only come once we start to acknowledge, accept, validate and love all those parts that we keep locked away in the basement. This is integration and the process of whole-ing! It’s kind of like having a little puppy, it may try to get your attention by chewing on your shoe or barking at you a million times until you notice them and play with them. These younger parts that live inside us are just like that puppy, just waiting to be seen, heard, and witnessed. Thanks to studies on conscious and love-centred parenting and we now know that scolding and other fear-based coercive punishing of children (and puppies) only increases levels of fear and anxiety, so why would we want to repeat the same thing to ourselves? In my own personal somatic parts practice as well as while working with clients, I have adopted the belief that “there are no bad parts” and that they all have wisdom. Which comes from a humanist perspective as well ad the Internal Family Systems framework conceptualised by Dr. Richard Swartz. Through somatic awareness, sensing and feeling, and embodiment insight and integration we can learn to listen to and separate all these parts of ourselves from our Highest Self or Self energy, and this concept actually which actually originates from ancient and indigenous traditions like Buddhism and Yoga. It can be counterintuitive to view these exiled parts that are perhaps “lazy”, “unhealthy”, or even “self-destructive” ( like the shamed parts, the critical part, the addictive part, the people pleaser part) as wise, but have you ever considered that they may have been helpful, or maybe even saved your life, at some point? It makes sense that we may hate them if they have caused us suffering and destruction, but often times they came into being to help us survive a difficult expereience(s) and have good intentions. When our basic human needs of safety, belonging and dignity aren’t being met, our genius nervous system figures out ways to adapt so we can get those needs met! I used to really hate my inner critic. I viewed it as my mothers voice, that was mean, aggressive, constantly pushing me harder and judging me. I can see now that originally this critical part was meant for good, as a first generation Polish-American immigrant I wanted to make my parents proud. I thought that if I only worked hard enough, got the best grades and became totally perfect, finally my parents and everyone around me would accept me and I wouldn’t feel so alone. We moved around a lot and I went through 3 schools in the first five years of elementary school. My parents were constantly at work trying to make sure I had a better future, and I was left feeling all alone and like I didn’t belong anywhere. Of course this inner critic part came into existence, it wanted to help feel belonging, worthy and safe! Over time this critical part started to make me more and more anxious,…
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10 sposobów na to jak możemy sprawić, że nasze zajęcia jogi będą bardziej świadome traumy

październik 11, 2022

Yoga practice isn’t only about the physical yoga shapes. The word yoga comes from “yuj” in Sanskrit meaning to unite – but to unite what exactly? We know that experiencing trauma can lead to a sense of alienation and disconnection from oneself, but “ Yoga is a journey of the self, through the self to the self” as it says in the Bhagavad Gita. Unfortunately not everything that we experience in a modern yoga class aids in this higher goal of our practice, and sometimes the good intentions of yoga instructors can cause more harm than good. Anywhere that yoga is practiced, someone will likely be struggling with trauma. Teaching yoga in a trauma-informed way requires us to make some changes, gain new skills, find compassion and patience. However, starting to view the world from a trauma sensitive lens can be one of the greatest gifts we can give not only to our students but to everyone around us. Why? Because trauma informs everything and most likely everyone who shows up to the mat has experienced some level of traumatisation. Why is it important? In the past couple of years trauma and trauma-informed care has become a new buzzword, but why and what does it all even mean? Maybe the pandemic had something to do with it, because clinical research in this area has been around since the the end of the 19th century (see more about the sexist history of “hysteria” here) but trauma informed care and wisdom are nothing new. It didn’t all start with some old white dudes in akademia, there is ancient indigenous knowledge of how to heal, become embodied and how to process trauma. Simply by becoming aware of how their bodies FELT, ancient humans created tools that made their bodies feel better (spiritual & religious tool like song, dance, prayer, yoga, meditation etc). Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the worlds leading experts in trauma, recognises this fact. Bessel’s book The Body Keeps the Score which was published in 2014 became ranked second in the science category of The New York Times Best Seller in 2019, and as of July 2021, the book had spent more than 141 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List. This should tell you just how widespread this topic has become and if we practice Ahmisa and teach yoga to help in healing, rather than harming, then learning about how prevalent trauma is and it’s impact is a good place to start. We don’t have to question anyone, rather we should just assume that this is a fact and act accordingly. How prevalent is trauma? Often we may think of traumatic events as these “huge” life-threatening stressors like accidents, violence or natural disasters, and yes but not only, trauma is much more common than this and learning some of the statistics can be sobering. A survey done in 24 countries by WHO found that 70.4% people will have experienced lifetime traumas. The CDC statistics from the US report that one in four children experience some type of maltreatment (physical, emotional, sexual or neglect) during their life and one in four women have experienced domestic violence. A study called ACE’s (adverse childhood experiences) found that about 61% of adults surveyed reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE’s (adverse childhood experience) before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more childhood traumatic experiences. Adverse childhood experiences can be experiencing things like abuse, violence or neglect and are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and destructive behaviours like substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. Often these experiences (or lack of ones we should’ve received like stability, safety, love and acceptance) are pushed-away, bottled up or “forgotten” by the mind, but the body keeps the score like Van der Kolk said. How does trauma make us show up in life and can yoga help? Even if we don’t think about it or consciously remember the traumatic event, our body in order to protect us remembers all the sounds, smells, tone of voice and other sensory details associated with what happened and as a result different life circumstances can trigger big emotions to surface. These triggers and how we react to them are highly personal to each person but one was to describe it as being “hijacked” by ones body. THis can feel as if we are being “flooded” with intense emotions, thoughts and physical sensations or by “shutting down” or numbing (disassociating) to escape from feeling. It’s important to remember that neither of these “reactions” are a pathology, rather its our body’s way of adapting and coping, it’s protecting us and helping us to “survive”. When our body perceives threat our sympathetic nervous system gets us ready to fight or flee. But our body doesn’t discriminate, and throughout the day even when we’re hungry it thinks “OMG im going to die” but once you eat or whatever other perceived danger passes we come back into homeostasis, the parasympathetic NS of rest & digest. THis is a normal and necessary process and daily we rise to meet challenges and then calm down. A problem can start if we get “stuck on” or “stuck off” in one of these states and our NS still perceives danger, which literally rewires the brain. The good news is that our brains are plastic and can change during our whole lives so nothing is set in stone. Once we become aware that it’s not the external world but that something is happening inside of us then we can start to take care of ourselves, and one way to do that is through yoga. By yoga I don’t mean only asanas (physical yoga shapes) but also all of yoga philosophy and psychology. In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali wrote “Yoga chitta vritti nirodha”, which means “yoga is the stilling of fluctuations of the mind”- in this our mind, intellect and ego. This tells us what the true essence…
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Zależność czy samodzielność w jodze?

czerwiec 26, 2022

Do you have a self practice, or do you only go to yoga classes? Or maybe you like both? We are after all different and have the right to our own preferences but what I don’t agree with however, is teachers who make their students dependant on them (intentionally or unintentionally) and keep them from developing a self practice. There inherently is a power imbalance in the teacher/student relationship but how do we know when this power dynamic is unhealthy? There are things that should be present which can minimise this imbalance, like the teacher leading students towards self discovery, using invitational language and acting as a guide rather than being a know it all yoga “general”. I’m not a psychiatrist but I suspect one of my teachers of being like this and possessing some narcissistic traits.Looking back I see that this person was abusing their role of “authority” and even though the environment was toxic I kept coming back because I thought that this was just how it is n all yoga schools. All the students were ALWAYS doing something “wrong” that had to be “fixed”. Forget about self discovery, there was only one way of doing things, and if you couldn’t do it you’d be pushed and shoved into it so that it could be done “the right way” in “perfect alignment”. In effect this lead me to push myself really hard and hurt myself constantly, it exacerbated my perfectionism and deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy stemming from childhood trauma. But it was also a great lesson, sometimes we can learn more from a “bad” teacher than from a “good” one! Good intentions aren’t always enough and they can hurt people too. I think that its important to be aware how our actions effect others, especially when we are in a position of power. This is what it means to have a trauma informed approach to teaching yoga, its consciously trying NOT to harm our students and empowering them. It’s not about CONTROLLING people, rather helping them find their inner voice and strength so they can make their own decisions. Remember you are the BEST expert of your own body!

Trauma, Addiction & Yoga – The science behind healing your life

czerwiec 24, 2021

“Addiction is a complex psychophysiological process, but it has a few key components. I’d say that an addiction manifests in any behavior that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in and therefore craves, suffers negative consequences from, and has trouble giving up.” Dr. GABOR MATÉ: Usually when we think of addicts what comes to mind is a coke or heroin addict who’s throwing their whole life away just to satisfy their “dirty” little needs. There are two main views on addiction in the world today, one of the medical system of it being a brain disease therefor rendering us helpless victims and the other being the view of the legal system claiming that it is a CHOICE which is why they use punishment as a means of “rehabilitation”. But what if none of these are true? If we go by this definition of addiction by Dr. Gabor Maté, ( a world renown retired physician & addiction/trauma specialist) I bet that anyone who took a couple minutes to honestly reflect upon their life would find that addiction doesn’t have to pertain to only substances and that they themselves may not be exempt from it either. If addiction is a choice it most certainly isn’t a conscious one and why is it that some addictions are OK and some are against the law?“Any behaviour that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in” can be not only substances like illegal and or legal drugs (like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, pain killers and other pharmaceuticals etc) but also things like food, sex, internet, pornography, gambling, binge watching tv shows, exercise, extreme sports, work, shopping the list goes on and on. If you were to take a look at your life honestly, would you admit that at one point in your life or another you have used any one or more of those things in an addictive way? Now stop and think of not WHY you did but what did these things do for you? Did they help you in numbing pain, numbing fear & anxiety, escaping from reality, relaxing, surviving, feeling pleasure, feeling loved, feeling accepted, feeling accomplished, feeling successful, feeling happy, satisfaction, releasing, fitting in, being understood, connecting, feeing courageous, getting a buz or to in simply feeling ALIVE? Are these bad things to want or normal human needs? Addictions usually start out as a temporary solution to a problem, the consequences come after. Addiction is an attempt to change our internal state by way of external things, so let’s not ask why the addiction, but like Dr. Mate like to ask WHY THE PAIN from which we are running away from? I know substances did all these things and more for me, but ever since I stopped using them I noticed addictive behaviours showing up in other areas of my life, which to me was a sign that it wasn’t the substances that were the issue but it was MUCH DEEPER than that. Addiction you see, isn’t the problem, it’s actually more of a symptom. No one chooses to be a an addict just for fun. It starts as the brains coping mechanism in early childhood development, helping the child to survive, not feeling PAIN and SUFFERING. “In the National Survey of Adolescents, teens who had experienced physical or sexual abuse/assault were three times more likely to report past or current substance abuse than those without a history of trauma.In surveys of adolescents receiving treatment for substance abuse, more than 70% of patients had a history of trauma exposure. This correlation is particularly strong for adolescents with PTSD. Studies indicate that up to 59% of young people with PTSD subsequently develop substance abuse problems.” The National Child Traumatic Stress Network www.NCTSN.org) When speaking about childhood trauma we must remember that it doesn’t necessarily have to be somethings as severe as sexual or physical abuse. Things like prenatal stress, absent parents, stressed parents (we can also add to the list intergenerational trauma as well but I’m trying to not make this short text a novel! ) and other problematic parental behaviours can cause a child to feel unwanted & unloved. To a young child it’s survival depends on it’s caregivers so this can be just as stressful to the developing brain and may cause permanent changes that will show up later in life. “The impact of stress on brain health begins in the womb. Both animal and human studies have found that prenatal maternal stress affects the brain and behavior of the offspring. Stressful life events, exposure to a natural disaster, and symptoms of maternal anxiety and depression increase the risk for the child having a range of emotional, behavioral and/or cognitive problems in later life. These include depression, anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and/or conduct disorders.“ – Prenatal stress: Effects on fetal and child brain development, AlexandraLautarescuabMichael C.CraigacVivetteGloverd A young child in nature is egocentric, it doesn’t understand why mommy and daddy have to work long days and are coming home stressed, all it knows is that it FEELS responsible for the unhappiness of the parents. This feeling of guilt changes the neurophysiology of that child forever , that’s why the biggest gift you can give to your child is your own happiness, which the child will gladly mirror. Don’t get me wrong here, im not trying to guilt shame all the parents out there. My parents did the best they could with what they had, they didn’t have a grand childhood either thats how this cycle of intergenerational trauma works. The good news is that once we are conscious of it we can change it. As a result, I ended up feeling like “the black sheep” and “problem child”who didn’t know how to control her emotions and that feeling of “not good enough” still haunts me today. I moved from Poland to New York City at the age of 5 which didn’t help me in the confidence department since I hardly knew how to speak English and was thrown…
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