self care Archives - Spiritual Bish

Stress in itself isn’t bad!

August 7, 2023

It’s what happens in our nervous system as a result of the stress response not completing that causes issues. Stress gets a bad rep, but in all actuality, without it we wouldn’t get far in life 🙈 The stress response is a product of evolution that gives us energy and helps us survive when we are in a life threatening situation. It helps you jump out of the way of a speeding car, to run away from a wild animal, and even to do things like yoga or exercise. Stressors (stressful situations) and body tension of all different kinds and sizes are part of every day life. Just the right amount of stress will give us the energy to mobilise and do all the things. However, if there is too much of this “survival energy” and the cycle doesn’t complete, it could lead to physical and mental burnout. Which is why it’s really important to understand what goes on inside the body and how to take care of yourself so that this stress and tension isn’t part of your everyday reality. Stress and stressors Stressors are all the things that bring us stress aka turn on the stress response in our soma (body-mind organism). Sometimes this happens because of a life threatening event, sometimes because of a series of events (like chronic abuse, neglect or systemic oppression), and other times the stressor may be your boss, partner, parent or your inner critical part – the nervous system doesn’t discriminate it just reacts to protect you, it can’t tell if the threat is real or “in your head” so to speak. Stress is what happens in your body. IT’s the neurophysiological process that happens in your body-mind organism when you feel you are in danger. Sometimes this gets called the fight- flight- freeze responses, but basically your heart starts to beat faster, your body gets flooded with different chemicals (like adrenaline), your muscles tighten, the blood goes into your limbs and your body shuts down the functioning of certain systems (like immunity and digestion) – all to get you ready to SURVIVE. It’s in the nervous system So not the stress that’s “bad” but the dysregulation of the nervous system that could happen if this cycle gets interrupted. Its important to understand that this stress response happens automatically in a split second. Evolutionarily this helped our ancestors survive when they encountered a wild animal. There’s no time to think about it, it doesn’t happen in our “wise mind” (the prefrontal cortex), it happens in the older parts of our brain that react instinctually. In modern times we may not have wild animals lurking behind the corner but our nervous system still treats all the threats we come across in life, both little ad big, as if it was a tiger stadning on our path. Then and now. Getting this cycle “unstuck” is nuance and highly personal, but one things for certain, getting that energy to move through the body, mobilization, will complete the cycle. Often times we may think that dealing with the stressor is the solution. “If my job is stressful, I’ll just find a new one” or “If my partner just stops doing this thing I hate, I won’t be so stressed”. Getting rid of the stressor may work temporarily, but it’s not the same as letting the stress cycle complete. all that energy still lives inside the body. Imagine how much energy it takes to run away from a tiger, that’s how much energy may be inside just wanting to be expressed! Just because we no longer see the threat it doesn’t mean that the body instantaneously just shut off the alarm system. The sympathetic part of the nervous system is still actively creating all the ENERGY you need to protect yourself. And once you mobilize and use up all that energy and you are in safety, a flexible nervous system will gradually go through the there parts of the cycle ( rest, digest and restoration) and your body will return back to baseline or homeostasis. Our ancestors mobilised and used this energy naturally because the threats were constant and real, in the sense that there were wild animals and things to run away from. Today the threats are often psychological which doesn’t make them any less real by the way, and not to mention when one stressor finishes another one usually starts- rushing to work, paying bills, ruptures in relationships- so the chances that we will encounter stressful situations again are certain – its part of our human experience. Completing the cycle. Not letting this survival energy get stuck in our body, instead mobilising it and getting it to pass through and express is an important step in completing the cycle and coming back to safety- homeostasis. It may seem obvious, but what would you do if you saw a tiger? You’d run! Imagine how much of that energy might be coursing through your body wanting to be expressed. Ever wondered why your jaw, shoulders and face are so tight even after doing all that yoga? Your body is still getting ready. So what should you do to get that energy moving? Well MOVE! It can be any movement really from running, exercising, dancing yoga, or cleaning your house, but the important thing to keep in mind here is that you are not using your mind =) but you drop into your body, FEEL and you do it with intention. When we’re running from a tiger we aren’t doing a beautiful choreography, so we aren’t thinking about it or performing. Getting this stuck energy moving involves connecting to your intuition, to sensing, feeling, being and getting weird with it. It means following your body’s innate impulses to jump, draw, paint, shake, stretch, walk, contract, expand, run, make noises, breathe, tremor, twist, twirl, dance to your favourite song or whatever! And good news, this doesn’t have to be an hour long strenuous workout, just move your body…
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The Sister Wound, and how to start healing our relationships with other women

May 20, 2023

Sister, woman, goddess who knows, we don’t have to compete with each other. We don’t have to mistrust or envy each other. This is not our natural state.In the past, women often came together to create, celebrate, and experience difficult moments together. We didn’t destroy each other. Women gathered at the well, by the fire, in tents, ate together at tables, or gathered in nature, creating magical healing experiences where they listened to each other and drew wisdom from each other. Women began to grow stronger, more expressive. Unfortunately, the history of witch hunts and patriarchal oppression took that away from us. You might be thinking, why were witches hunted in Europe and early colonies? Simply because they were women and dared to come together in community. There is nothing more dangerous to a system and people who want to rule than individuals who are aware of their power. The witch hunts (along with the genocide of indigenous peoples during colonialism) were attempts to halt the development, healing, and empowerment of women (and indigenous peoples) in groups. This collaboration and power threatened the patriarchal structure that kept them powerless. And so, millions of women (and indigenous peoples) were killed over the years for being “witches,” “shamans,” and “devils.” Ultimately, women stopped coming together and stopped trusting each other. And patriarchy continued, and a deep part of us probably still feels uneasy about these kinds of gatherings due to the historically associated dangers. This is called collective or intergenerational trauma. We may not consciously remember it, but much research suggests that our ancestors pass on their difficult experiences to us genetically and epigenetically. (https://amp.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/21/study-of-holocaust-survivors-finds-trauma-passed-on-to-childrens-genes) Modern media and culture often perpetuate these negative beliefs, which further hinder our community-building. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming sisterhood, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken from us but still resides within us. What is the sister wound? The sister wound is the pain and mistrust between women. It is the result of a patriarchal society that harms us and pits us against each other instead of uniting us. Healing the sister wound gives us the power and magic that we can reclaim. It is the last thing patriarchy wants us to focus on. By lifting and supporting each other, we counteract the system of oppression. Healing the sister wound is our rebellion against patriarchy and the key to reclaiming our power. This wound grows in darkness and isolation. To heal it, we must step into the light. By seeing each other without fear, we can heal in circles, in ceremonies, in community. This is our strength against patriarchy. Being in community is crucial for healing the sister wound. In women’s circles, we can share our shame, fears, and uncertainties, and you begin to recognize yourself in the words of other women, like in a fairy tale mirror. This circle magic happens when you hear other women, women you may perceive as “confident,” and realize that they have the same feelings, wounds, and experiences as you. “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.” – Brene Brown You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in darkness and our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in the darkness and in our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. We can support and uplift each other, allowing us to regain our power, build connections, and see women as sisters rather than competitors. Participating in women’s gatherings or circles can gradually untangle all these knots woven by patriarchy. It can have a beautiful and magical impact on your life Common examples of the sister wound include: ◦ Difficulties in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships with other women due to feelings of mistrust or jealousy. ◦ Low self-worth or lack of self-confidence, especially in social situations with other women. ◦ Tendency to unfavorably compare oneself to other women or feel threatened by their success or achievements. Three ways in which we can begin to heal the sister wound: ◦ Building awareness and understanding that competition and jealousy among women result from systemic oppression, not inherent to femininity. ◦ Practicing empathy and supporting other women, instead of comparing oneself to them or treating them as rivals. ◦ Co-creating safe spaces where you can openly discuss your experiences and feelings with other women, share emotions, and support each other in the healing process, such as women’s circles. The sister wound has deep roots, dating back to the burning of women at the stakes. However, I believe that we can break this cycle, especially in today’s times of chaos, striving for success at any cost, dominance, and polarization. Our planet needs cooperation, community, and compassion, which are all aspects of the divine feminine energy that flows within each of us (not just women). If we want our planet and the future of our children and families to be beautiful and prosperous, we must reunite. We must reclaim the right to be together with other women and create healing experiences. It’s time to stop hiding and invite girls to the table, to the circle. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming the sisterly bond, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken away from us but still lives within us. If you’re interested, come and co-create with us in the Women’s Circle! The next meeting is on June 3rd, click HERE.…
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10 ways to can make your yoga classes more trauma-informed

October 11, 2022

Yoga practice isn’t only about the physical yoga shapes. The word yoga comes from “yuj” in Sanskrit meaning to unite – but to unite what exactly? We know that experiencing trauma can lead to a sense of alienation and disconnection from oneself, but “ Yoga is a journey of the self, through the self to the self” as it says in the Bhagavad Gita. Unfortunately not everything that we experience in a modern yoga class aids in this higher goal of our practice, and sometimes the good intentions of yoga instructors can cause more harm than good. Anywhere that yoga is practiced, someone will likely be struggling with trauma. Teaching yoga in a trauma-informed way requires us to make some changes, gain new skills, find compassion and patience. However, starting to view the world from a trauma sensitive lens can be one of the greatest gifts we can give not only to our students but to everyone around us. Why? Because trauma informs everything and most likely everyone who shows up to the mat has experienced some level of traumatisation. Why is it important? In the past couple of years trauma and trauma-informed care has become a new buzzword, but why and what does it all even mean? Maybe the pandemic had something to do with it, because clinical research in this area has been around since the the end of the 19th century (see more about the sexist history of “hysteria” here) but trauma informed care and wisdom are nothing new. It didn’t all start with some old white dudes in akademia, there is ancient indigenous knowledge of how to heal, become embodied and how to process trauma. Simply by becoming aware of how their bodies FELT, ancient humans created tools that made their bodies feel better (spiritual & religious tool like song, dance, prayer, yoga, meditation etc). Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the worlds leading experts in trauma, recognises this fact. Bessel’s book The Body Keeps the Score which was published in 2014 became ranked second in the science category of The New York Times Best Seller in 2019, and as of July 2021, the book had spent more than 141 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List. This should tell you just how widespread this topic has become and if we practice Ahmisa and teach yoga to help in healing, rather than harming, then learning about how prevalent trauma is and it’s impact is a good place to start. We don’t have to question anyone, rather we should just assume that this is a fact and act accordingly. How prevalent is trauma? Often we may think of traumatic events as these “huge” life-threatening stressors like accidents, violence or natural disasters, and yes but not only, trauma is much more common than this and learning some of the statistics can be sobering. A survey done in 24 countries by WHO found that 70.4% people will have experienced lifetime traumas. The CDC statistics from the US report that one in four children experience some type of maltreatment (physical, emotional, sexual or neglect) during their life and one in four women have experienced domestic violence. A study called ACE’s (adverse childhood experiences) found that about 61% of adults surveyed reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE’s (adverse childhood experience) before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more childhood traumatic experiences. Adverse childhood experiences can be experiencing things like abuse, violence or neglect and are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and destructive behaviours like substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. Often these experiences (or lack of ones we should’ve received like stability, safety, love and acceptance) are pushed-away, bottled up or “forgotten” by the mind, but the body keeps the score like Van der Kolk said. How does trauma make us show up in life and can yoga help? Even if we don’t think about it or consciously remember the traumatic event, our body in order to protect us remembers all the sounds, smells, tone of voice and other sensory details associated with what happened and as a result different life circumstances can trigger big emotions to surface. These triggers and how we react to them are highly personal to each person but one was to describe it as being “hijacked” by ones body. THis can feel as if we are being “flooded” with intense emotions, thoughts and physical sensations or by “shutting down” or numbing (disassociating) to escape from feeling. It’s important to remember that neither of these “reactions” are a pathology, rather its our body’s way of adapting and coping, it’s protecting us and helping us to “survive”. When our body perceives threat our sympathetic nervous system gets us ready to fight or flee. But our body doesn’t discriminate, and throughout the day even when we’re hungry it thinks “OMG im going to die” but once you eat or whatever other perceived danger passes we come back into homeostasis, the parasympathetic NS of rest & digest. THis is a normal and necessary process and daily we rise to meet challenges and then calm down. A problem can start if we get “stuck on” or “stuck off” in one of these states and our NS still perceives danger, which literally rewires the brain. The good news is that our brains are plastic and can change during our whole lives so nothing is set in stone. Once we become aware that it’s not the external world but that something is happening inside of us then we can start to take care of ourselves, and one way to do that is through yoga. By yoga I don’t mean only asanas (physical yoga shapes) but also all of yoga philosophy and psychology. In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali wrote “Yoga chitta vritti nirodha”, which means “yoga is the stilling of fluctuations of the mind”- in this our mind, intellect and ego. This tells us what the true essence…
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Agency VS Dependance in yoga

June 26, 2022

Do you have a self practice, or do you only go to yoga classes? Or maybe you like both? We are after all different and have the right to our own preferences but what I don’t agree with however, is teachers who make their students dependant on them (intentionally or unintentionally) and keep them from developing a self practice. There inherently is a power imbalance in the teacher/student relationship but how do we know when this power dynamic is unhealthy? There are things that should be present which can minimise this imbalance, like the teacher leading students towards self discovery, using invitational language and acting as a guide rather than being a know it all yoga “general”. I’m not a psychiatrist but I suspect one of my teachers of being like this and possessing some narcissistic traits.Looking back I see that this person was abusing their role of “authority” and even though the environment was toxic I kept coming back because I thought that this was just how it is n all yoga schools. All the students were ALWAYS doing something “wrong” that had to be “fixed”. Forget about self discovery, there was only one way of doing things, and if you couldn’t do it you’d be pushed and shoved into it so that it could be done “the right way” in “perfect alignment”. In effect this lead me to push myself really hard and hurt myself constantly, it exacerbated my perfectionism and deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy stemming from childhood trauma. But it was also a great lesson, sometimes we can learn more from a “bad” teacher than from a “good” one! Good intentions aren’t always enough and they can hurt people too. I think that its important to be aware how our actions effect others, especially when we are in a position of power. This is what it means to have a trauma informed approach to teaching yoga, its consciously trying NOT to harm our students and empowering them. It’s not about CONTROLLING people, rather helping them find their inner voice and strength so they can make their own decisions. Remember you are the BEST expert of your own body!

Trauma, Addiction & Yoga – The science behind healing your life

June 24, 2021

“Addiction is a complex psychophysiological process, but it has a few key components. I’d say that an addiction manifests in any behavior that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in and therefore craves, suffers negative consequences from, and has trouble giving up.” Dr. GABOR MATÉ: Usually when we think of addicts what comes to mind is a coke or heroin addict who’s throwing their whole life away just to satisfy their “dirty” little needs. There are two main views on addiction in the world today, one of the medical system of it being a brain disease therefor rendering us helpless victims and the other being the view of the legal system claiming that it is a CHOICE which is why they use punishment as a means of “rehabilitation”. But what if none of these are true? If we go by this definition of addiction by Dr. Gabor Maté, ( a world renown retired physician & addiction/trauma specialist) I bet that anyone who took a couple minutes to honestly reflect upon their life would find that addiction doesn’t have to pertain to only substances and that they themselves may not be exempt from it either. If addiction is a choice it most certainly isn’t a conscious one and why is it that some addictions are OK and some are against the law?“Any behaviour that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in” can be not only substances like illegal and or legal drugs (like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, pain killers and other pharmaceuticals etc) but also things like food, sex, internet, pornography, gambling, binge watching tv shows, exercise, extreme sports, work, shopping the list goes on and on. If you were to take a look at your life honestly, would you admit that at one point in your life or another you have used any one or more of those things in an addictive way? Now stop and think of not WHY you did but what did these things do for you? Did they help you in numbing pain, numbing fear & anxiety, escaping from reality, relaxing, surviving, feeling pleasure, feeling loved, feeling accepted, feeling accomplished, feeling successful, feeling happy, satisfaction, releasing, fitting in, being understood, connecting, feeing courageous, getting a buz or to in simply feeling ALIVE? Are these bad things to want or normal human needs? Addictions usually start out as a temporary solution to a problem, the consequences come after. Addiction is an attempt to change our internal state by way of external things, so let’s not ask why the addiction, but like Dr. Mate like to ask WHY THE PAIN from which we are running away from? I know substances did all these things and more for me, but ever since I stopped using them I noticed addictive behaviours showing up in other areas of my life, which to me was a sign that it wasn’t the substances that were the issue but it was MUCH DEEPER than that. Addiction you see, isn’t the problem, it’s actually more of a symptom. No one chooses to be a an addict just for fun. It starts as the brains coping mechanism in early childhood development, helping the child to survive, not feeling PAIN and SUFFERING. “In the National Survey of Adolescents, teens who had experienced physical or sexual abuse/assault were three times more likely to report past or current substance abuse than those without a history of trauma.In surveys of adolescents receiving treatment for substance abuse, more than 70% of patients had a history of trauma exposure. This correlation is particularly strong for adolescents with PTSD. Studies indicate that up to 59% of young people with PTSD subsequently develop substance abuse problems.” The National Child Traumatic Stress Network www.NCTSN.org) When speaking about childhood trauma we must remember that it doesn’t necessarily have to be somethings as severe as sexual or physical abuse. Things like prenatal stress, absent parents, stressed parents (we can also add to the list intergenerational trauma as well but I’m trying to not make this short text a novel! ) and other problematic parental behaviours can cause a child to feel unwanted & unloved. To a young child it’s survival depends on it’s caregivers so this can be just as stressful to the developing brain and may cause permanent changes that will show up later in life. “The impact of stress on brain health begins in the womb. Both animal and human studies have found that prenatal maternal stress affects the brain and behavior of the offspring. Stressful life events, exposure to a natural disaster, and symptoms of maternal anxiety and depression increase the risk for the child having a range of emotional, behavioral and/or cognitive problems in later life. These include depression, anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and/or conduct disorders.“ – Prenatal stress: Effects on fetal and child brain development, AlexandraLautarescuabMichael C.CraigacVivetteGloverd A young child in nature is egocentric, it doesn’t understand why mommy and daddy have to work long days and are coming home stressed, all it knows is that it FEELS responsible for the unhappiness of the parents. This feeling of guilt changes the neurophysiology of that child forever , that’s why the biggest gift you can give to your child is your own happiness, which the child will gladly mirror. Don’t get me wrong here, im not trying to guilt shame all the parents out there. My parents did the best they could with what they had, they didn’t have a grand childhood either thats how this cycle of intergenerational trauma works. The good news is that once we are conscious of it we can change it. As a result, I ended up feeling like “the black sheep” and “problem child”who didn’t know how to control her emotions and that feeling of “not good enough” still haunts me today. I moved from Poland to New York City at the age of 5 which didn’t help me in the confidence department since I hardly knew how to speak English and was thrown…
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Online VS Real life- which is better for learning Yoga?

January 3, 2021

To learn Yoga online, or not to learn? That is the question. The verdict isn’t in yet because the camp is divided. I think the answer isn’t as concrete as you may think, rather something quite subjective based on experiences and beliefs of each person. I actually started my Yoga journey online 5 years ago, with an incredible yogi, the late Leslie Fightmaster (Fightmaster Yoga on YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/c/Fightmasteryoga/videos). At the time I wasn’t in the best place mentally and was scared to go to a studio because I didn’t want to be judged by others. Back then I thought that to practice Yoga you had to be really skinny and super flexible (both of which I lacked). I think I can safely say that I may not be alone in this experience and even though now I am conscious of the fact that Yoga is FOR EVERY BODY, maybe not everyone feels comfortable practicing in a room full of people and for people like them online the option to practice online is a blessing. One of the things that really helped me keep a regular practice in the beginning was taking part in “yoga challenges” on Instagram (today I sometimes help organise them). It kept me motivated to get on my mat and try something new everyday. In result, not only did I learn new Yoga poses but I gained new insights, met some incredible yogis from all over the world (some of which I even met IRL “in real life”) and most importantly there was an element of play throughout which made me feel like a kid in the sandbox. Most mammals (humans included) learn through play, during which our brains secrete a hormone called dopamine, which puts us in a better mood and helps us to concentrate. In effect the learning process becomes easier and our brains literally remodel and rewire themselves, in other words neuroplasticity occurs. I good example of this was the famous physicist Dr. Richard Feynman (Nobel Prize in Physics for the marriage of quantum mechanics and the 19th century electromagnetic field theory), who had a passion for discovering and cultivating new creative hobbies throughout his life. He loved to draw and not only besides his famous diagrams, he even had his own art show of his drawings! He sang and played on the bongos in a band and was known to be somewhat of a “joker” by his friends, often playing tricks on them! You may be thinking what does all of this have to do with Yoga? Well, is it important which path you take if they all lead to the same destination? Some of us may have self discipline and have no problem practicing at home by ourselves, while others need to go to a Yoga studio for a led class, and still others prefer online learning. I’m a pretty eclectic person myself and depending on the day and mood, I take advantage of all the methods, as a student and as a teacher. I think it is just as likely that we may run into a “bad yoga teacher” (whatever that may mean) on a social media platform just as at a Yoga studio. And now what exactly is this “bad yoga teacher” anyway? Is it someone who washes Yoga practice down to just asana turning it into fitness, devoid of it’s philosophy and spirituality? Or is it someone who by sticking to rigid alignment cues because they are “tradition”, doesn’t bother to learn the anatomy & biomechanics of our bodies therefore making it less safe? Is if possible to have both? In my opinion, the physical location of our bodies isn’t quite as important as what is actually going on INSIDE of us during practice. Here I’ll add that not only does Yoga philosophy state that our physical body is only ONE of 5 others Koshas, but also the Theory of Quantum Entanglement says that we are we may be WAY much more connected than we actually think! So in the end I think its important to do what brings us peace and happiness while remembering to listen to that voice deep within, because that’s where our best teacher resides, US.

The neuroscience behind why some people get on their mats daily, while others quit.

December 28, 2020

I don’t know if you know but I’m a real geek when it comes to the nature of how our bodies work and why. Some of the new research in fields like neuroscience and quantum physics are just now starting to explain how some of the ancient practices from different cultures have an effect on us. Wether it’s on a molecular level or quantum level some weird things are constantly happening in our inner worlds. The more we learn about these processes the easier it can become to live a happier and healthier life, instead of having a “oh woe is me” victim mentality. I just listened to this podcast with Dr. Andrew Huberman ( Neuroscientist & Professor at Stanford University, Instagram Hubermanlabs https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab/?hl=en )where he was explaining the neuroscience behind why some people achieve their goals and others end up quitting. Dopamine (often called “the feel good hormone”) is released when we finally get that something we were craving/wanting ( like that first meal of the dat or that new pair of leggings we’ve been wanting )making us feel good or even euphoria at times. This then helps to mobilize us for action, if we can just learn to use this reward system in a constructive way, rewarding ourselves internally when reaching little milestones it’ll give us more drive and motivation to keep going forward. So having a goal like learning how to handstand or competing in the Arctic Ultra race is great and all but can also be quite scary, overwhelming and frustrating to even start thinking about. In these stressful situations our bodies release epinephrin (adrenaline) which dilates our pupils turning our vision into something like“portrait mode”,racing pulse, sweaty palms, shallow breathing toward hyperventilation, sweaty underarms, weak in the knees, random thoughts, and inability to concentrate, as well as all the other “fun” involuntary effects of the “flight, fight or freeze” response. This fear factor at the beginning of new skills/situations is where many people decide to quit, at the first sign of difficulty or if they don’t start seeing immediate progress. The way the adrenaline makes them feel internally doesn’t help to motivate us in this process UNLESS we learn to overcome the fear and anxiety. This however is not something that can be learned overnight but ask any professional athlete or performer and they will tell you, that the more we put ourselves out there and grab that fear by it’s horns, the less scary it becomes. The same thing happens when we get on our mats each day and face those hard poses we’d rather skip, we teach our bodies not to react to stressful situations(on and off the mat). When our breath is calm we quiet the body and when the body is quiet our minds are calm. For me learning how to enjoy the whole the process, filled with all the ups and downs keeps me going daily. Each time I learn how to be in a yoga pose more comfortably or hod that handstand a second longer, each new shape or press I learn is a small victory in and of itself. This is dopamine in full effect, when released it helps to suppress the feeling of agitation and anxiety letting us actually ENJOY the effort process. Not to mention this process of duration, path and outcome eventually leads to neural plasticity. Meaning that with time things become reflexive and our brain learns these movements/thought patterns or whatever “by heart” . Then we no longer need to think while doing them(like driving a car or walking).!! WIth time, during all those crappy(trust me there were and are still MANY) practices and training sessions I started to learn how to NOT be down on myself, unlike before constantly criticising. We can stop the negative thoughts fro coming in, but what we CAN DO is introduce new positive ones. Ok, so maybe I didn’t reach my “goal” but hey I showed up. I gave it my all. I got stronger in the process. I didn’t quit. I’m on the right path. I didn’t decide to eat a pint of ice cream instead. Each time new neural pathways were formed and I taught myself that I CAN still feel good about myself even if I don’t “WIN” every time . Which wasn’t an easy process with my history of of childhood trauma, depression, low self esteem and addiction. Luckily the chemicals in our body don’t discriminate. These systems are generic and once you learn how to release dopamine into your system, during lets say yoga or handstands, this important skill can also be transferred into all other areas of our lives. So I guess it really is true what they say, what doesn’t kill us literally makes us stronger and with this mindful approach to life we can make all those fails count as wins propelling ourselves forward, living a happier more fulfilled life.

Be your own light

November 2, 2020

They say when the student is ready the master will come but what are we to do when that master turns out to be just a mere mortal like the rest of us? What happens when we find out that he/she is only an imperfect “human” and not an omniscient and omnipresent being? Guru under a blanket In his book “A MIracle of Love” Ram Dass, the late former Harvard proffessor, yogi and spiritual teacher, wrote about life with his Guru Neem Karoli Baba, his students called him Majarajii. Meeting him in 1967 changed his whole life, said Ram DAss. It was only their first time meeting and it was as if he had read his mind when he asked him if he had been thinking of his mother the night prior. Ram Dass answered that he has been, Maharajii just nodded his head saying that he knew this and that his mother had died 6 months ago because of “Spleen”. Thats when something burst inside of him and his heart started to open like a flower. He cried for two days nonstop, asking himself how on Earth could this man have known this? Besides reading minds Majarajii was said to have many other “siddis”, or supernatural powers, but at the same time he claimed to be NOBODY. He was a small toothless man, who could often be found sitting under his favourite blanket, not really your visually picture perfect Guru. Nether the less everything he did and siad acted as a reflection, which showed Ram Dass how much more work he had to do on himself on his spiritual journey. This is the role of the guru, to be the mirror reflection which helps us to realise the answers are already inside us, that the real guru is us and we are looking at ourselves in the mirror. Meditation Master accused of sexual abuse After returning from India he started travelling across the U.S.A giving lectures about his experiences and learned teachings from the East, and in 1974 he joined a team of professors at the newly founded Naropa Institute(the first Buddhist-Inspired university) ran by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Who would think that a couple years after his death, his son Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche would be asked to step down from his ruling position in Shambhala International, the worlds largest Buddhist network of meditation centers, retreats, universeties and monesteries,because of sexual misconduct allegations dating back to the 90s. The law firm handling the investigation has also received numerous reports of sexual misconduct( including underage children) by other leaders and new victims continue to make themselves heard and police are investigating. All of this has left the people in the community feeling confused, hurt, sad and angry. Afterall, do the teachings that Sakyong was teaching and all that he represented still have any validity after all this has come to the surface? This is a question the Shambhala community is faced with today. Hot Yoga heats up In the 70s Bikram Choudhury and his 26 hot yoga poses swept the nation and at one point there were over 650 studios in the US with teachers repeating his words, in what is called “The Dialogue”. In 2017 the court awarded his former lawyer Minakshi Jafa-Bodden 7 million dollars and she later took control of his business after he had fled the country facing several accounts of alleged sexual assault and discrimination against racial and sexual minorities. Today you can find him in Acapulco in his speedos and gold Rolex, still teaching and training teachers for up to 17,000 dollars each who don’t seem to mind all of the allegations being made against their guru, but then again should they stop doing a practice they have grown to love because of one mans mistakes? Abuse can wear many masks Is It possible to be so blinded by faith or love to not see what is right in front of your eyes? I speak from experience when I say yes. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years back when I was a teenager. It started out as a big love like in a Hollywood movie, but gradually it all changed. He started becoming more controlling, he turned me against all my friends and before I knew it I was alone and couldn’t even leave the house without his permission. The mental and physical abuse got stronger until finally he punched me in the face breaking my nose. I was so “in love” with him I would have taken him back if he hadn’t have gone to prison, for gun posession. Abusers are master manipulators and have the power to convince you that you are wrong, crazy and that you simply deserve all the abuse. Uneven power dynamics In a healthy relationship the “power dyanmics” should be somewhat evenly balanced and in a perfect world the people with more power (including the authority figures, politicians, armies, police as well as all the teachers and Gurus) should be responsible to SERVE the rest. Unfortunatly not everyone can resist the temptation of over using their power and keep their ethics and morality in tact. Especially if they have undiagnosed and untreated trauma. Respecting authority is something we are taught early on in life and all is fine and well until it turns out they were flawed or mentally ill, that’s when the abuse begins. Should you forgive sexual abuse? Anneke Lukas was sold as a child sex slave to a pedophile network at the age of 6 by her mother.The network was ran by high ranking political aristocrats. After 5 years of regular rape, she was rescued by someone on the inside. Her long healing journey has lasted over 30 years and consisted of writing, physco-therapy, yoga, meditation and service to other sex trafficking and satanic ritual victims inside and outside of prisons through her non-profit organisation Liberation Prison Yoga. She first met K. Pattabhi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga, in 2001 during…
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Uncertain Times

July 1, 2020

In these uncertain times one thing is certain, that nothing is permanent. This pandemic swept across our planet like a tsunami. At times I really felt like I was living in some sort of Hollywood blockbuster movies, totally surreal. At first I thought it was all some sort of elaborate hoax, propagated by the media and governments. I laughed at all the people panicking. I had stopped watching TV a couple of years back so there was no way I was about to turn on the news, but then one day the severity of the situation just hit me like a running train. I couldn’t live in denial anymore, social media were filled with news of all the people dying in China and now Italy. The fear and panic of others started to attach itself to me the more I read about it. I had only healed from cancer 2 years ago, am I in the high risk group? Am I going to die? Are my friends and loved ones going to die? Yes, eventually everyone will die, even me, but that wasn’t the point. The fear kept getting bigger and my anxiety worse. Still, each morning I got on my mat. Inhale. Exhale. I don’t practice yoga to master the poses, although progress in them is nice I won’t deny that, I practice because it teaches me to live in the present moment. It teaches me to respond rather than react. It teaches me to connect to my body and it shows me that I’m so much more than that. The slow deep steady breath sends a message to the parasympathetic nervous system that it’s ok, you can relax It’s especially important in difficult poses(like Kapotasana for example =P) my body learns it can overcome difficult situations and that all is well, this later reflects in my daily life. When yoga is practiced this way it becomes a moving meditation, this is why I love Ashtanga Yoga because it later reflects in my daily life. A moving meditation is great but sometimes we need to just sit still and feel grounded. Noting has helped me more in these chaotic times of the pandemic than my meditation practice. It’s not aways pleasant, the body hurts, the mind wanders.. but with each itch you don’t scratch, you get stronger. You slowly start to realise that you’re not this body afterall, or the heart and its emotions or the mind with it’s endless thoughts, plans and doomsday premonitions. You start to awaken to the fact that you are the observer behind it all, the loving awareness, the one who knows. On some days during this #lockdown2020 I woke up feeling hopeful, high on energy and the creative juices flowed like a waterfall. I finally finished my website, started a YouTube channel, created lots of content and so on. I actually feel great! Happy I don’t have to go anywhere and that I could just concentrate on creating and growing. On other days I would wake up with a black cloud over my head. Feeling heavy, sad, paranoid and like someone sucked all the life out of me. My mind took me on wild fearful rides like magic mountain in Disney World. I started thinking of the worst possible scenarios, believing they would all come true. I didn’t see any silver linings or happy endings, on those days my spiritual practice was especially important. You see it’s easy to practice when all is well, but the real work and growth starts to happen when times get tough. Sitting in meditation has showed me how wild my mind actually is(it’s not just mine, it’s yours too buddy!). Our mind secretes thoughts like the tongue secretes saliva. The thoughts come and go, and none of them are necessarily a reflection of reality. Learning to notice them, accept & honor them and not react to them is a life long process, but one worth embarking upon. Through the daily practice of living mindfully and non- attachment we will gradually suffer less. Instead of constant desire, wanting and grasping or constant aversion and pushing away of life.. we will accept life more gracefully following the path of the middle way, with our hearts wide open.