In these uncertain times one thing is certain, that nothing is permanent. This pandemic swept across our planet like a tsunami. At times I really felt like I was living in some sort of Hollywood blockbuster movies, totally surreal. 

At first I thought it was all some sort of elaborate hoax, propagated by the media and governments. I laughed at all the people panicking. I had stopped watching TV a couple of years back so there was no way I was about to turn on the news, but then one day the severity of the situation just hit me like a running train.

I couldn’t live in denial anymore, social media were filled with news of all the people dying in China and now Italy. The fear and panic of others started to attach itself to me the more I read about it. I had only healed from cancer 2 years ago, am I in the high risk group? Am I going to die? Are my friends and loved ones going to die? Yes, eventually everyone will die, even me, but that wasn’t the point. The fear kept getting bigger and my anxiety worse. 

Still, each morning I got on my mat. Inhale. Exhale. I don’t practice yoga to master the poses, although progress in them is nice I won’t deny that, I practice because it teaches me to live in the present moment. It teaches me to respond rather than react. It teaches me to connect to my body and it shows me that I’m so much more than that. The slow deep steady breath sends a message to the parasympathetic nervous system that it’s ok, you can relax It’s especially important in difficult poses(like Kapotasana for example =P) my body learns it can overcome difficult situations and that all is well, this later reflects in my daily life. When yoga is practiced this way it becomes a moving meditation, this is why I love Ashtanga Yoga because it later reflects in my daily life.

A moving meditation is great but sometimes we need to just sit still and feel grounded. Noting has helped me more in these chaotic times of the pandemic than my meditation practice. It’s not aways pleasant, the body hurts, the mind wanders.. but with each itch you don’t scratch, you get stronger.  You slowly start to realise that you’re not this body afterall, or the heart and its emotions or the mind with it’s endless thoughts, plans and doomsday premonitions. You start to awaken to the fact that you are the observer behind it all, the loving awareness, the one who knows.

On some days during this #lockdown2020 I woke up feeling hopeful, high on energy and the creative juices flowed like a waterfall. I finally finished my website, started a YouTube channel, created lots of content and so on. I actually feel great! Happy I don’t have to go anywhere and that I could just concentrate on creating and growing.

On other days I would wake up with a black cloud over my head. Feeling heavy, sad, paranoid and like someone sucked all the life out of me. My mind took me on  wild fearful rides like magic mountain in Disney World. I started thinking of the worst possible scenarios, believing they would all come true. I didn’t see any silver linings or happy endings, on those days my spiritual practice was especially important. You see it’s easy to practice when all is well, but the real work and growth starts to happen when times get tough.

Sitting in meditation has showed me how wild my mind actually is(it’s not just mine, it’s yours too buddy!). Our mind secretes thoughts like the tongue secretes saliva. The thoughts come and go, and none of them are necessarily a reflection of reality. Learning to notice them, accept & honor them and not react to them is a life long process, but one worth embarking upon. Through the daily practice of living mindfully and non- attachment we will gradually suffer less. Instead of constant desire, wanting and grasping or constant aversion and pushing away of life.. we will accept life more gracefully following the path of the middle way, with our hearts wide open.