Stress gets a bad rep, but in all actuality, without it we wouldn’t get far in life 🙈 The stress response is a product of evolution that gives us energy and helps us survive when we are in a life threatening situation. It helps you jump out of the way of a speeding car, to run away from a wild animal, and even to do things like yoga or exercise. 

Stressors (stressful situations) and body tension of all different kinds and sizes are part of every day life. Just the right amount of stress will give us the energy to mobilise and do all the things. However, if there is too much of this “survival energy” and the cycle doesn’t complete, it could lead to physical and mental burnout. Which is why it’s really important to understand what goes on inside the body and how to take care of yourself so that this stress and tension isn’t part of your everyday reality.

Stress and stressors

Stressors are all the things that bring us stress aka turn on the stress response in our soma (body-mind organism). Sometimes this happens because of a life threatening event, sometimes because of a series of events (like chronic abuse, neglect or systemic oppression), and other times the stressor may be your boss, partner, parent or your inner critical part – the nervous system doesn’t discriminate it just reacts to protect you, it can’t tell if the threat is real or “in your head” so to speak. 

Stress is what happens in your body. IT’s the neurophysiological process that happens in your body-mind organism when you feel you are in danger. Sometimes this gets called the fight- flight- freeze responses, but basically your heart starts to beat faster, your body gets flooded with different chemicals (like adrenaline), your muscles tighten, the blood goes into your limbs and your body shuts down the functioning of certain systems (like immunity and digestion) – all to get you ready to SURVIVE.

It’s in the nervous system

So not the stress that’s “bad” but the dysregulation of the nervous system that could happen if this cycle gets interrupted. 

Its important to understand that this stress response happens automatically in a split second. Evolutionarily this helped our ancestors survive when they encountered a wild animal. There’s no time to think about it, it doesn’t happen in our “wise mind” (the prefrontal cortex), it happens in the older parts of our brain that react instinctually. 

In modern times we may not have wild animals lurking behind the corner but our nervous system still treats all the threats we come across in life, both little ad big, as if it was a tiger stadning on our path.

Then and now.

Getting this cycle “unstuck” is nuance and highly personal, but one things for certain, getting that energy to move through the body, mobilization, will complete the cycle.

Often times we may think that dealing with the stressor is the solution. “If my job is stressful, I’ll just find a new one” or “If my partner just stops doing this thing I hate, I won’t be so stressed”. Getting rid of the stressor may work temporarily, but it’s not the same as letting the stress cycle complete. all that energy still lives inside the body. Imagine how much energy it takes to run away from a tiger, that’s how much energy may be inside just wanting to be expressed!

Just because we no longer see the threat it doesn’t mean that the body instantaneously just shut off the alarm system. The sympathetic part of the nervous system is still actively creating all the ENERGY you need to protect yourself. And once you mobilize and use up all that energy and you are in safety, a flexible nervous system will gradually go through the there parts of the cycle ( rest, digest and restoration) and your body will return back to baseline or homeostasis. 

Our ancestors mobilised and used this energy naturally because the threats were constant and real, in the sense that there were wild animals and things to run away from. Today the threats are often psychological which doesn’t make them any less real by the way, and not to mention when one stressor finishes another one usually starts- rushing to work, paying bills, ruptures in relationships- so the chances that we will encounter stressful situations again are certain – its part of our human experience.

Completing the cycle.

Not letting this survival energy get stuck in our body, instead mobilising it and getting it to pass through and express is an important step in completing the cycle and coming back to safety- homeostasis.

It may seem obvious, but what would you do if you saw a tiger? You’d run! Imagine how much of that energy might be coursing through your body wanting to be expressed. Ever wondered why your jaw, shoulders and face are so tight even after doing all that yoga? Your body is still getting ready.

So what should you do to get that energy moving? Well MOVE! It can be any movement really from running, exercising, dancing yoga, or cleaning your house, but the important thing to keep in mind here is that you are not using your mind =) but you drop into your body, FEEL and you do it with intention. 

When we’re running from a tiger we aren’t doing a beautiful choreography, so we aren’t thinking about it or performing. Getting this stuck energy moving involves connecting to your intuition, to sensing, feeling, being and getting weird with it. It means following your body’s innate impulses to jump, draw, paint, shake, stretch, walk, contract, expand, run, make noises, breathe, tremor, twist, twirl, dance to your favourite song or whatever! And good news, this doesn’t have to be an hour long strenuous workout, just move your body until you feel like you’ve got it out of your system,.

So as you see moving (mobilising) this survival energy is a crucial part of the cycle that many of us have forgotten about in our modern lifestyle but the more understanding we have our own own physiology the more agency we have over our life and are empowered in our choices.

One last thing worth mentioning is the importance of the feeling of SAFETY which supports and encourages the completion of this cycle. Just like the gazelle experiencing huge fear while running away from a tiger, when she successfully runs away and experiences the feeling of safety, she will go back to grazing on grass as if nothing ever happened. 

Our bodies are constantly searching for these cues of safety and danger, Dr.Stephen Porges coined this as neruroception. That is what our 5 senses are mainly for, reading the environment and even peoples expressions and tone of voice. So spending time surrounded by things that support and encourage a feeling of safety, lets our nervous system know that all is well and the world is a safe place. 

Re-establishig safety is a long and vast topic but here’s one practice that I personally use and have found it helpful. Perhaps try it and see if it works for you.

Looking for glimmers: 

Glimmers are anything that make you feel good, safe, connected and like you belong. Research has shown that this seemingly small act of searching for and savouring things like spenindng time with people who you feel safe with, cuddling with your pet, eating your favourite ice cream, a smile from/to a stranger, spending time in nature, self-hug or massage, taking care of your plants, spiritual connection with something greater, or even looking at photos of nature can have a positive effect on reducing stress and soothing the nervous system.

Of course we are all different, so only you know what helps you feel safe and connected – remember your body is your greatest teacher. All these things are just suggestions, so perhaps consider this an invitation to explore and get curious about the responses in your own body. It’s a practice and there’s no rush, so take all th time in the world that you need.

If you’d like some support around exploring this, I offer different modalities where you could start to speak the language of your body and befriend it. To learn more about  my offerings I invite you to check out: somatic coaching &  trauma sensitive yoga