healing journey Archives - Spiritual Bish

September 19, 2024

THE SHADOW SIDE OF SELF-CARE… АКА ТОХІС ENTITLEMENT we all know the importance of self-care, especially in our dominant culture that tends to push us towards constant productivity + external rewards, often leaving us feeling guilty to slow down, rest, feel pleasure and take time for ourselves… BUT IS THERE A FLIP SIDE TO THIS? when we see ourselves as Separate, it can be natural to feel threatened by “others” and to focus on only “me and my healing” which can sometimes move from helpful, towards the shadow side of hyper-individualism, ego inflation, and toxic entitlement. This isn’t something “bad” or evil, it’s how we adapted and once LEARNED to protect ourselves. it makes so much sense. and at the same time, if want to truly feel safe, connecting to our body, nature, other humans, and feeling that we BELONG here is necessary. as mammals we are wired for survival through connection. So once we start to feel safe enough in our body, it could be supportive to start to remember our INTERCONNECTEDNESS with all life or like Pando which is the worlds largest living organism with an estimated 47,000 stems that appear as individual trees, but are connected by a root system that spans 106 acres. each of its stems has the same genes and it’s huge interconnected root system coordinates energy production, defense and regeneration. Collectively we have forgotten what our ancestors have always known, we are not seperate but part of this larger ecosystem web of life. Feeling seperate is the source of our pain, fears, and urge to dominate and control as a species, realizing our interconnectedness with all of life can be a path towards collective healing and a hope for a brighter future for ALL. If forest ecosystems can thrive based on cooperation and support, why can’t we humans do the same?

relationships are HARD…AND can also be an opportunity to heal our deepest wounds

September 5, 2024

Intimate relationships can be a sacred portal into healing these past emotional wounds of our younger self aka the inner child.

the body-mind connection and why it’s important on every level

January 12, 2024

The body-mind connection is powerful and it’s actually the link between your thoughts and your feelings and emotions, shaping how you think, feel, emote, sense and act. It’s like a constant exchange of info between your mind and body- not that they are separate anyway =) I’m sure you’ve noticed that physical state often if not always affects your thoughts, and your thoughts can impact how you feel. For instance, changing your posture from a contracted position to a more open and expansive one can actually boost your confidence and shift your mindset. It’s a two-way street. “if you don’t know how to say no, your body will say it for you through physical illnesses.” Understanding how our thoughts and emotions affect our body is crucial. More and more, people recognize that our mental well-being can deeply influence our physical health. Experts like Dr. Gabor Maté support this idea, shedding light on the vital mind-body connection. how they communicate Your mind and body talk to each other in two ways: the body sends messages to the brain, and the brain sends messages to the body. This chatting involves chemicals like hormones and neurotransmitters, and it also happens through the Vagus Nerve. About 80% of the messages going up to your brain come from the body! emotions adjust not only our mental, but also our bodily states. this image is from a 2013 study that focused on where people experience different emotions in the body. This research constituted the first “map” that illustrated how our emotions and our body are linked through sensations. You can learn more in the video below. body-mind integration “The goal of mind-body techniques is to regulate the stress response system so that balance and equilibrium can be maintained and sustained, to restore prefrontal cortex activity, to decrease amygdala activity, and to restore the normal activity of the HPA axis and locus ceruleus-sympathetic nervous system” (Selhub, 2007, p. 5) In other words, integrating the body + mind makes us more present, regulated, feeling safe and whole. Sensitivity as a superpower 🦸‍♀️ Most of us are living in this disembodied capitalist culture that actually rewards us for being disconnected from our body and from our feelings deeming it as “strong” and “keeping it together” , because this numbing and suppressing is what allows us to be more “productive”. But it takes true strength and courage to show up as your most authentic and vulnerable Self, showing that soft under belly as opposed to all the masks and armour we may wear. And it makes sense that our genius body-mind may adapted this way to self-protect if we’ve been hurt in the past, but the truth is not feeing and expressing our true feelings doesnt mean that they go away – they live on inside of us and keep on building up like a pressure cooker, impacting our whole system and down the line can actually contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and emotional turmoil to name a few. Embracing our emotions and feelings is an act of self-love and it’s exactly what these exiled vulnerable parts of us may actually need – to be seen, heard, acknowledged and validated – and until this happens, this unconscious shadow aspect of our ✨Self✨ will continue pulling our strings behind the curtains. ✨it’s important to know that if we’ve disconnected from feeling, there’s a good reason behind it and most often it’s to stay safe. A trauma-informed approach to this reconnection is to go SLOW and be gentle, because we’re not going for overwhelm here ♥️✨ overwhelm in our nervous system is how trauma happens. So it’s not about jumping head on, “sucking it up”, getting rid of, or quickly fixing these vulnerable parts of us but becoming WHOLE – or realising that you always have been whole in the first place- by coming home to your Self and gently shining our light of awareness on them, feeling into what it is they are actually communicating and need in this moment- that is integration. This is why working with the wisdom of the soma (body-mind) and ✨all our inner parts✨ is important, it’s a sacred portal into deeper insight, wellbeing, and embodied transformation ♥️ So the next time you notice you are feeling all the feels perhaps ask yourself: what are these feelings telling me? Does this emotion feel familiar? What does this part if me need in this moment? And maybe all it needs is a little sacred pause to just be with it, as it is, however it is ♥️ and if it feels authentic, maybe take a moment to celebrate yourSelf for feeling safe enough to notice and express this feeling in the first place! That’s big stuff <3 ancient wisdom meets modern science Science is just catching up to these ancient truths, that the body-mind connection is important on many levels, not only in physical and mental health but also the spiritual. Here’s some ways you can integrate and strengthen this connection: Embodiment practices Somatic coaching mindful yoga Shadow work Somatic parts work Embodied mindfulness Trauma sensitive yoga (TCTSY) intuitive movement sensual dance qui gong yoga nidra learning about your nervous system states spending time in nature creative expression “only you know what’s best for you” If you’re feeling called to start exploring the wisdom of your soma (body-mind) with my guidance and support, contact me HERE to learn about my 1:1 trauma-informed somatic coaching container for women or HERE to get your free consultation about TCTSY, the world’s only scientifically validated trauma healing model of yoga.

What is Complex Trauma?

December 4, 2023

This text is about complex trauma, also known as developmental trauma or C-PTSD, it’s relational aspect and how it differers from the diagnosis of PTSD. I’ll also share a bit about my own process of healing and how I personally view it. what is trauma anyway? Depending on where you are in the world and who you ask, the definitions will vary. The view that I follow is the one that many of the world’s leading body-mind and trauma specialists have, which is that trauma is not in the event, but it’s what happens inside the body as a result, and if there wasn’t a caring empathetic other to help support us through it. I particularly like the way Dr. Albert Wong describes trauma in this article here in Psychology Today saying, “Trauma impacts much more than just our thoughts and actions. Trauma is far-reaching and systemic—it cuts us to our bones. It can dissolve our sense of identity, diminish our capacity to locate ourselves accurately in time and space, inhibit our tolerance for interpersonal relatedness, disrupt the coherence of our experience, impair our capacity for emotional regulation, and so much more.Trauma impacts much more than just our prefrontal cortex or our behavioral activation system. It impacts our whole being—and it must be treated from a whole being perspective. Importantly, any legitimate trauma treatment must consider all of our being—the entirety of our body-mind—not just our thoughts and behaviors, alone… A tidal change in our zeitgeist is slowly emerging. The importance of the body—and the felt experience therein, once again, is starting to rise.” Things that can cause trauma are big horrific events like war, accidents, natural disasters, operations, the death or loss of a loved one, assault, or sexual, physical and emotional abuse- it can be traumatic to go through it personally and we can also be impacted by trauma if it happens to someone we love. The truth is we are all complex, multi-layered, living beings and since we are all different, trauma and its impacts will also vary and depend on many factors. Two people can live through the same catastrophe and be effected differenty, one will bounce back quckly, and the other may suffer debilitating symptoms. Why, you may be wondering? IT’s not just the event, but our nervous system’s internal reaction to it. When something is too much, too fast too soon, or too little too late, is another way that trauma is often described. This will drastically vary from individual to individual, and according to the CDC ( Center for Disease Control and Prevention from the US) here’s some added layers that might contribute: generational embodiment/ historical trauma, social conditions/local context, and adverse childhood experiences which lead to disrupted neurodevelopment and social, emotional & cognitive impairment to name a few). Confusion of different names and diagnosis of trauma PTSD was the first official diagnosis of trauma and came about from American war Veterans. Before that, it was thought that it was a kind of mental weakness and that it just something made up, the said “it’s all in your head”. The diagnosis of PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder) consists of 3 main symptom clusters: re-experiencing of the trauma (for example nightmares, flashbacks), avoidance of reminders of trauma-related stimuli (for example places that reminded the person of the event, talking about the experience) and hypervigilance (for example easy startle, excessive attention to potential threat). In the US, the DSM has since that first 1980 diagnosis expanded the symptom profile to include 20 symptoms, 4 clusters and dissociation. According to Cambridge, “One consequence of this expansion has been that the possible symptom combinations allow for 636 120 ways to be diagnosed with DSM-5 PTSD, leading to potential complications in assessment and treatment planning.” In the US there have been efforts to make trauma less about symptoms and more about encompassing the totality of the pain and suffering of the human experience by creating new diagnosis like “developmental trauma” and complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), but at least in the US its complicated because of how the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) functions – if you don’t know what the problem is, follow the money and who is funding what, cough big Pharma cough. Besides the diagnosis of PTSD since 2018, the eleventh revision of the IDC-11 ( International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems) that is used here in Europe where I live, has added a new diagnosis of C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder). Well actually it may seem new, but decades ago Judith Herman was talking about the impact of chronic relational power dynamics and trauma in her research and her 1992 book Trauma and Recovery. Herman worked with mostly child and women survivors of abuse and atrocities that were relational and chronic in nature, before her trauma was mostly a diagnosis reserved for male Veterans. In The British Journal of Psychiatry Marylène Cloitre explains, “a long history of clinical observation that individuals who experienced chronic, repeated and prolonged traumas, such as childhood sexual abuse or domestic violence, tended to experience more complex reactions extending beyond those typically observed in PTSD”. According to the IDC-11 C-PTSD “ includes the three core elements of PTSD as well as three additional elements called disturbances in self-organisation that are pervasive and occur across various contexts: emotion regulation difficulties (for example problems calming down), negative self-concept (for example beliefs about self as worthless or a failure) and relationship difficulties (for example avoidance of relationships).” Some examples of complex trauma (C-PTSD) could include: • Childhood abuse or neglect • Domestic violence/sexual assault • Human trafficking • War or political conflict • Being chronically misgendered Recognising this is a step forward, at least in Europe, however there is still a big elephant in the room. Mainly, these diagnosis are mostly focused on “getting rid of the symptoms”, not on looking at and understanding the whole person- are the symptoms the problem or…
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Stop shaming your shame!

November 9, 2023

Often times feelings of shame and trauma can be intertwined so it would make sense that if we feel shame, we might want to get rid of it, perceiving it as something “bad”. But does this vilifying and shaming actually get rid of shame? We live in a culture that is obsessed with self-improvement and productivity which can often promote this ill treatment of parts of ourselves. When we are constantly being bombarded with “5 ways to get healthy” or “ do this to optimise your wellbeing”, it could be hard to not feel like you’re doing something wrong. As a person with complex trauma who grew up with parents who had their own unresolved wounds and trauma, I’ve always had a way of being that was really harsh on myself. But as I move forward on this 17th year of my healing journey, I’m able to be more and more compassionate, kind and curious to myself and yes, even to all those pesky parts of me which I always hated. From my own experience and from folks I’ve worked with I found that it is quite common to want to get rid of these shameful parts in hopes that it will bring some sort of resolution, perhaps resulting in more self-love, trauma resolution or healing and/or transforming deeply ingrained patterns, behaviors, strategies or conditioned tendencies. Then there’s those of us who might rather just pretend we don’t have any shame, detaching from our body so we don’t have to feel any of it. Either way, this kind of approach usually just continues the spiral of inner chaos and shaming the shame like a dog chasing it’s own tail. If we look at this from a somatic trauma-informed lense, what could sometimes happen is that trauma freezes these wounded parts of us in the past. And these frozen often times younger parts of us hold on to beliefs ( I am broken, It is always my fault) and emotions ( shame, fear, grief, unworthiness). It is quite normal that we don’t want to feel this pain of the past, so our soma ( nervous system and body-mind as a living organism) does it’s job of self-protection and works hard to keep all those parts hidden or exiled. This is where we might avoid by distracting ourselves with work or other “busyness”, ignore, numb out and detach from feeling our body, or shame ourselves – cue the inner critic or perfectionist part- which has become quite a prevalent way of being in our modern industrialised “western” world. We may think that by exiling these parts we will finally not have to feel any pain, discomfort, or distress by avoiding overwhelming emotions, bodily sensations, memories or beliefs. But the truth is this won’t make it all go away, it all just gets suppressed and thrown into a pressure cooker inside us just waiting to explode like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Healing and transformation only come once we start to acknowledge, accept, validate and love all those parts that we keep locked away in the basement. This is integration and the process of whole-ing! It’s kind of like having a little puppy, it may try to get your attention by chewing on your shoe or barking at you a million times until you notice them and play with them. These younger parts that live inside us are just like that puppy, just waiting to be seen, heard, and witnessed. Thanks to studies on conscious and love-centred parenting and we now know that scolding and other fear-based coercive punishing of children (and puppies) only increases levels of fear and anxiety, so why would we want to repeat the same thing to ourselves? In my own personal somatic parts practice as well as while working with clients, I have adopted the belief that “there are no bad parts” and that they all have wisdom. Which comes from a humanist perspective as well ad the Internal Family Systems framework conceptualised by Dr. Richard Swartz. Through somatic awareness, sensing and feeling, and embodiment insight and integration we can learn to listen to and separate all these parts of ourselves from our Highest Self or Self energy, and this concept actually which actually originates from ancient and indigenous traditions like Buddhism and Yoga. It can be counterintuitive to view these exiled parts that are perhaps “lazy”, “unhealthy”, or even “self-destructive” ( like the shamed parts, the critical part, the addictive part, the people pleaser part) as wise, but have you ever considered that they may have been helpful, or maybe even saved your life, at some point? It makes sense that we may hate them if they have caused us suffering and destruction, but often times they came into being to help us survive a difficult expereience(s) and have good intentions. When our basic human needs of safety, belonging and dignity aren’t being met, our genius nervous system figures out ways to adapt so we can get those needs met! I used to really hate my inner critic. I viewed it as my mothers voice, that was mean, aggressive, constantly pushing me harder and judging me. I can see now that originally this critical part was meant for good, as a first generation Polish-American immigrant I wanted to make my parents proud. I thought that if I only worked hard enough, got the best grades and became totally perfect, finally my parents and everyone around me would accept me and I wouldn’t feel so alone. We moved around a lot and I went through 3 schools in the first five years of elementary school. My parents were constantly at work trying to make sure I had a better future, and I was left feeling all alone and like I didn’t belong anywhere. Of course this inner critic part came into existence, it wanted to help feel belonging, worthy and safe! Over time this critical part started to make me more and more anxious,…
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The Sister Wound, and how to start healing our relationships with other women

May 20, 2023

Sister, woman, goddess who knows, we don’t have to compete with each other. We don’t have to mistrust or envy each other. This is not our natural state.In the past, women often came together to create, celebrate, and experience difficult moments together. We didn’t destroy each other. Women gathered at the well, by the fire, in tents, ate together at tables, or gathered in nature, creating magical healing experiences where they listened to each other and drew wisdom from each other. Women began to grow stronger, more expressive. Unfortunately, the history of witch hunts and patriarchal oppression took that away from us. You might be thinking, why were witches hunted in Europe and early colonies? Simply because they were women and dared to come together in community. There is nothing more dangerous to a system and people who want to rule than individuals who are aware of their power. The witch hunts (along with the genocide of indigenous peoples during colonialism) were attempts to halt the development, healing, and empowerment of women (and indigenous peoples) in groups. This collaboration and power threatened the patriarchal structure that kept them powerless. And so, millions of women (and indigenous peoples) were killed over the years for being “witches,” “shamans,” and “devils.” Ultimately, women stopped coming together and stopped trusting each other. And patriarchy continued, and a deep part of us probably still feels uneasy about these kinds of gatherings due to the historically associated dangers. This is called collective or intergenerational trauma. We may not consciously remember it, but much research suggests that our ancestors pass on their difficult experiences to us genetically and epigenetically. (https://amp.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/21/study-of-holocaust-survivors-finds-trauma-passed-on-to-childrens-genes) Modern media and culture often perpetuate these negative beliefs, which further hinder our community-building. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming sisterhood, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken from us but still resides within us. What is the sister wound? The sister wound is the pain and mistrust between women. It is the result of a patriarchal society that harms us and pits us against each other instead of uniting us. Healing the sister wound gives us the power and magic that we can reclaim. It is the last thing patriarchy wants us to focus on. By lifting and supporting each other, we counteract the system of oppression. Healing the sister wound is our rebellion against patriarchy and the key to reclaiming our power. This wound grows in darkness and isolation. To heal it, we must step into the light. By seeing each other without fear, we can heal in circles, in ceremonies, in community. This is our strength against patriarchy. Being in community is crucial for healing the sister wound. In women’s circles, we can share our shame, fears, and uncertainties, and you begin to recognize yourself in the words of other women, like in a fairy tale mirror. This circle magic happens when you hear other women, women you may perceive as “confident,” and realize that they have the same feelings, wounds, and experiences as you. “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.” – Brene Brown You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in darkness and our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in the darkness and in our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. We can support and uplift each other, allowing us to regain our power, build connections, and see women as sisters rather than competitors. Participating in women’s gatherings or circles can gradually untangle all these knots woven by patriarchy. It can have a beautiful and magical impact on your life Common examples of the sister wound include: ◦ Difficulties in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships with other women due to feelings of mistrust or jealousy. ◦ Low self-worth or lack of self-confidence, especially in social situations with other women. ◦ Tendency to unfavorably compare oneself to other women or feel threatened by their success or achievements. Three ways in which we can begin to heal the sister wound: ◦ Building awareness and understanding that competition and jealousy among women result from systemic oppression, not inherent to femininity. ◦ Practicing empathy and supporting other women, instead of comparing oneself to them or treating them as rivals. ◦ Co-creating safe spaces where you can openly discuss your experiences and feelings with other women, share emotions, and support each other in the healing process, such as women’s circles. The sister wound has deep roots, dating back to the burning of women at the stakes. However, I believe that we can break this cycle, especially in today’s times of chaos, striving for success at any cost, dominance, and polarization. Our planet needs cooperation, community, and compassion, which are all aspects of the divine feminine energy that flows within each of us (not just women). If we want our planet and the future of our children and families to be beautiful and prosperous, we must reunite. We must reclaim the right to be together with other women and create healing experiences. It’s time to stop hiding and invite girls to the table, to the circle. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming the sisterly bond, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken away from us but still lives within us. If you’re interested, come and co-create with us in the Women’s Circle! The next meeting is on June 3rd, click HERE.…
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Feminie Archetypes and how embracing the Wild Woman could change your life

May 8, 2023

For some time now, the goddesses have been calling to me, particularly the archetype associated with the “wild” woman. I have a difficult past, full of trauma and pain, like many of us, and for a long time it was hard for me to see or feel anything else, as I identified so strongly with that suffering. Various therapies, techniques, and methods have helped me on my path to healing, growth, and embodiment, but for some time now, working with archetypes has been close to my heart. Many studies show how helpful acting, role-playing, or embodying different characters or archetypes can be, because they help us see and FEEL in our own bodies that we can be and live differently. There is something called superhero therapy, and trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has long talked about how important acting and theater can be in the healing process. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to embody the role of your favorite superheroine or goddess. How would she move, speak, or exist in her life? How does it feel to be her? There are many archetypes, and I will slowly introduce them to you, but today I want to focus on the wild woman, who can help you reconnect with yourself and feel the inner power that is and has always been within you. Feminine archetypes are universal patterns of behavior, thought, personality and emotion that are associated with femininity. These archetypes have been recognized across cultures and throughout history, and they are often represented as goddesses, mythical figures, or role models for women.The idea of feminine archetypes has its roots in ancient mythology, where goddesses and female deities were revered and celebrated for their unique qualities and powers. Over time, these archetypes have evolved and adapted to changing cultural norms and values. The concept of working with archetypes was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who explored the idea of these archetypes being present in the collective unconscious of all humans. Jung identified several archetypes, including the anima and animus (representing the feminine and masculine aspects of the psyche, respectively), the shadow (representing the darker, repressed aspects of the psyche), and the self (representing wholeness and integration). Jung’s work on archetypes laid the foundation for further exploration of feminine archetypes by subsequent thinkers such as Jean Shinoda Bolen. Jean Shinoda Bolen expanded on Jung’s work on feminine archetypes by identifying specific archetypes, pairing them with goddesses and exploring their psychological and cultural significance. She wrote extensively about archetypes such as the mother, the maiden, and the crone, and argued that recognizing and embracing these archetypes could lead to personal growth and social change. Bolen also emphasized the importance of women’s relationships with one another and the role of the feminine in healing and transformation. Overall, Bolen’s work built on Jung’s framework by providing a more nuanced and detailed exploration of feminine archetypes and their relevance for contemporary women. Bolen’s work on goddesses and archetypes has been influential in feminist spirituality and personal growth movements. These archetypes are not fixed or rigid, and they can be interpreted and embodied in many different ways, depending on an individual’s personal experience and cultural context. Today, many women use these archetypes as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth, drawing inspiration from the stories, myths, movies, and qualities of these powerful female figures. By tapping into these archetypes, women can connect with their own inner strength, creativity, and intuition, and learn to embody these qualities in their own lives. Who is the WILD woman archetype? The wild woman is an archetype that represents the primal, untamed energy within us, and working with her can help us embrace our own wildness and connect with our inner power. Working with the her can also help challenge and break down the patriarchal conditioning and social norms that have suppressed women’s power and expression for the last couple thousand years. The wild woman is often associated with nature, animals, and the wilderness, and she embodies the fierce and unapologetic spirit of the natural world. She is not afraid to speak her truth, express her desires, and follow her own path, even if it means going against the norms of society. Working with the wild woman archetype can help us remember that as humans we come from nature, and to connect with our own inner wildness embracing our true selves. By embodying this archetype, we can tap into our intuition, creativity, and inner power, and live our lives on our own terms, without conforming to societal expectations or looking for external validation. By embracing our inner wild woman, we can start to reclaim our autonomy and challenge these oppressive structures, creating a more equitable society for all. The wild woman archetype invites us to break free from the limiting beliefs and expectations that have held us back and to embrace our MOST authentic Self, which in turn can inspire and empower others to do the same. By embodying the wild woman energy, we can contribute to a larger shift towards authenticity, empowerment, and equality, dismantling these uneven structures from within. Some tips for working with the wild woman: 1. Embrace your intuition, your inner knowing, your instincts, trust your gut, and listen to your inner voice. 2. Connect with your body. Try to move mindfully and sensually, tuning into the wisdom of your body and listen to what it’s telling you. 3. Honor your emotions. Sheinvites us to feel deeply and express our emotions. All your emotions are valid. 4. Embody your inner wildness. She celebrates the untamed spirit within us, express your creativity, and pursue your passions. 5. Connect with nature. We are animals, and like all living beings we come from nature. This can awaken respect and care for nature, inspires sustainability, supports healing and restoration creating a more harmonious future for all living beings. Wild Woman Goddesses from different cultures: Artemis, Pele, Kali, Sekhmet, Morrigan. Remember, working with the wild woman…
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10 ways to can make your yoga classes more trauma-informed

October 11, 2022

Yoga practice isn’t only about the physical yoga shapes. The word yoga comes from “yuj” in Sanskrit meaning to unite – but to unite what exactly? We know that experiencing trauma can lead to a sense of alienation and disconnection from oneself, but “ Yoga is a journey of the self, through the self to the self” as it says in the Bhagavad Gita. Unfortunately not everything that we experience in a modern yoga class aids in this higher goal of our practice, and sometimes the good intentions of yoga instructors can cause more harm than good. Anywhere that yoga is practiced, someone will likely be struggling with trauma. Teaching yoga in a trauma-informed way requires us to make some changes, gain new skills, find compassion and patience. However, starting to view the world from a trauma sensitive lens can be one of the greatest gifts we can give not only to our students but to everyone around us. Why? Because trauma informs everything and most likely everyone who shows up to the mat has experienced some level of traumatisation. Why is it important? In the past couple of years trauma and trauma-informed care has become a new buzzword, but why and what does it all even mean? Maybe the pandemic had something to do with it, because clinical research in this area has been around since the the end of the 19th century (see more about the sexist history of “hysteria” here) but trauma informed care and wisdom are nothing new. It didn’t all start with some old white dudes in akademia, there is ancient indigenous knowledge of how to heal, become embodied and how to process trauma. Simply by becoming aware of how their bodies FELT, ancient humans created tools that made their bodies feel better (spiritual & religious tool like song, dance, prayer, yoga, meditation etc). Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the worlds leading experts in trauma, recognises this fact. Bessel’s book The Body Keeps the Score which was published in 2014 became ranked second in the science category of The New York Times Best Seller in 2019, and as of July 2021, the book had spent more than 141 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List. This should tell you just how widespread this topic has become and if we practice Ahmisa and teach yoga to help in healing, rather than harming, then learning about how prevalent trauma is and it’s impact is a good place to start. We don’t have to question anyone, rather we should just assume that this is a fact and act accordingly. How prevalent is trauma? Often we may think of traumatic events as these “huge” life-threatening stressors like accidents, violence or natural disasters, and yes but not only, trauma is much more common than this and learning some of the statistics can be sobering. A survey done in 24 countries by WHO found that 70.4% people will have experienced lifetime traumas. The CDC statistics from the US report that one in four children experience some type of maltreatment (physical, emotional, sexual or neglect) during their life and one in four women have experienced domestic violence. A study called ACE’s (adverse childhood experiences) found that about 61% of adults surveyed reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE’s (adverse childhood experience) before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more childhood traumatic experiences. Adverse childhood experiences can be experiencing things like abuse, violence or neglect and are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and destructive behaviours like substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. Often these experiences (or lack of ones we should’ve received like stability, safety, love and acceptance) are pushed-away, bottled up or “forgotten” by the mind, but the body keeps the score like Van der Kolk said. How does trauma make us show up in life and can yoga help? Even if we don’t think about it or consciously remember the traumatic event, our body in order to protect us remembers all the sounds, smells, tone of voice and other sensory details associated with what happened and as a result different life circumstances can trigger big emotions to surface. These triggers and how we react to them are highly personal to each person but one was to describe it as being “hijacked” by ones body. THis can feel as if we are being “flooded” with intense emotions, thoughts and physical sensations or by “shutting down” or numbing (disassociating) to escape from feeling. It’s important to remember that neither of these “reactions” are a pathology, rather its our body’s way of adapting and coping, it’s protecting us and helping us to “survive”. When our body perceives threat our sympathetic nervous system gets us ready to fight or flee. But our body doesn’t discriminate, and throughout the day even when we’re hungry it thinks “OMG im going to die” but once you eat or whatever other perceived danger passes we come back into homeostasis, the parasympathetic NS of rest & digest. THis is a normal and necessary process and daily we rise to meet challenges and then calm down. A problem can start if we get “stuck on” or “stuck off” in one of these states and our NS still perceives danger, which literally rewires the brain. The good news is that our brains are plastic and can change during our whole lives so nothing is set in stone. Once we become aware that it’s not the external world but that something is happening inside of us then we can start to take care of ourselves, and one way to do that is through yoga. By yoga I don’t mean only asanas (physical yoga shapes) but also all of yoga philosophy and psychology. In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali wrote “Yoga chitta vritti nirodha”, which means “yoga is the stilling of fluctuations of the mind”- in this our mind, intellect and ego. This tells us what the true essence…
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Agency VS Dependance in yoga

June 26, 2022

Do you have a self practice, or do you only go to yoga classes? Or maybe you like both? We are after all different and have the right to our own preferences but what I don’t agree with however, is teachers who make their students dependant on them (intentionally or unintentionally) and keep them from developing a self practice. There inherently is a power imbalance in the teacher/student relationship but how do we know when this power dynamic is unhealthy? There are things that should be present which can minimise this imbalance, like the teacher leading students towards self discovery, using invitational language and acting as a guide rather than being a know it all yoga “general”. I’m not a psychiatrist but I suspect one of my teachers of being like this and possessing some narcissistic traits.Looking back I see that this person was abusing their role of “authority” and even though the environment was toxic I kept coming back because I thought that this was just how it is n all yoga schools. All the students were ALWAYS doing something “wrong” that had to be “fixed”. Forget about self discovery, there was only one way of doing things, and if you couldn’t do it you’d be pushed and shoved into it so that it could be done “the right way” in “perfect alignment”. In effect this lead me to push myself really hard and hurt myself constantly, it exacerbated my perfectionism and deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy stemming from childhood trauma. But it was also a great lesson, sometimes we can learn more from a “bad” teacher than from a “good” one! Good intentions aren’t always enough and they can hurt people too. I think that its important to be aware how our actions effect others, especially when we are in a position of power. This is what it means to have a trauma informed approach to teaching yoga, its consciously trying NOT to harm our students and empowering them. It’s not about CONTROLLING people, rather helping them find their inner voice and strength so they can make their own decisions. Remember you are the BEST expert of your own body!

The 8 Limbs of Yoga

June 6, 2022

I found yoga by accident, I didnt start practicing to get enlightened. At the time I was really into going to the gym and I used yoga to help me“stretch” after my workout… but before I knew it it, yoga ended up helping me not only transform my body, but also I deep finding deep realisations and in starting my healing journey – uniting my body with my mind and spirit. ❤️‍🩹 Contrary to popular belief Yoga is not just physical postures, there are many ways to practice yoga even off of the mat! If you’re not familiar with the 8 limbs of Yoga (Ashtanga Yoga) of Patanjali, I invite you on this little journey as we delve a little deeper into Yoga Philosophy! Basically, the Eight Limbs of Yoga can help us “get our shit together”, these are stages which can lead us to a deeper knowledge of ourselves, our minds, emotions and our spirit Self. The first limb of Yoga is the 5 Yamas, which talk about external discipline and are roadsigns to a “better” life inside society. It is said that by practicing these Yamas we can gain a deeper sense of self-awareness which in return can help us to transform negative energy and cultivate a deep, abiding sense of peace. The 5 Yamas: ✨ Ahimsa ( non-harming) which means not using violence against ANY living being as well as ourselves. And usually when there is an absence of violence, then arises love and kindness. ✨ Satya (truthfulness) here it is good to remember that sometimes the truth can also hurt, so Satya shouldn’t come into conflict with Ahimsa ✨ Asteya (non-stealing) this isn’t only stealing of physical things, it can also be understood as something like having the desire for something others have (fame, money, ower etc) and that can lead to cruelty and jealousy. ✨Brachmacharya(moderating the senses and the right usage of energy) Traditionally the intention of this Yama was to motivate yogis to conserve their sexual energy, although the word when translated can mean “actions that lead to Brahman”, meaning having behaviour which lead us towards God, higher power, the universe or whatever you want to call it. ✨ Aparigraha (non-possessivenesses, freedom from attachment) so its not about the goal that we are trying to obtain, but about our journey on the way to the goal. Like Krishna said, to not become attached to the outcome of our actions, but instead to concentrate on our actions. Have you ever started comparing yourself to someone or forced your body into a poses that “makes an impact” on others during in a yoga class? That is an example of Aparigraha. Can you think about and reflect on how these 5 Yamas may effect you and the people around you in everyday life? The next limb consists of the 5 Niyamas which are considered to be spiritual tools for internal work for learning how to regulate emotions and perceptions. These are practices which teach us how to care for ourselves and help cultivate happiness as well as self-confidence. ✨SELF-PURIFICATION (SHAUCHA) meaning keeping our body and mind “clean”. Reflection 💡 Do you try to be conscious of the food, emotions and thoughts that come into and arise in your body or do you ignore them? Do you critique yourself for these things or are you able to be understanding? ✨ CONTENTMENT (SANTOSHA) meaning being content with what is, accepting whatever life brings our way. Reflection 💡 Do you find yourself holding on to the past or are you able to let go and live in the present? It’s hard to be content in life if we are disappointed with ourselves and keep trying to “fix” and “improve” ourselves because of past “mistakes” but everything is a process and sometimes letting go of the past is harder than we think so try not to judge yourself, ✨ SELF-DISCIPLINE (TAPAS) meaning “heating up” the body. The fire that comes from Tapas is said to be a able to help us change old habit that no longer serve us, t newer “healthier” ones. Reflection 💡 The fire 🔥 of tapas can be used to replace old habits with new healthier ones. Can you think of something you’ve been wanting to do more regularly but you keep putting it off? Notice your mindset in this process, do you critique yourself because you “failed yet again” or are you kind towards yourself? ✨ SELF-STUDY (SVADHYAYA) meaning getting to know ourselves better, gaining self awareness in a spiritual sense. Reflection 💡 Reading spiritual books or watching movies can be very inspirational if we can learn to incorporate self reflection throughout the day. Can you recognize when you’re acting in harmony with your goals, and when you’re unconsciously countering them? ✨ SELF-SURRENDER (ISHVARA PRANIDHANA) this doesn’t mean to mindlessly give ourselves away to something to someone, but its the process of surrendering to a higher meaning and leaving the fruits of our actions to God,higher power, the universe etc. Reflection 💡 In meditation 🧘‍♀️ do you try to notice the thoughts, sensations and emotions as they arise? Do you ever notice the inner stillness of the present in between them. This experience can help us learn to let go of our attachments, even if just for a moment 😉 I won’t lie, for a long time I lived life without any self reflection. I hurt myself and I hurt many people with my actions, I wasn’t aware of the fact that I had never been taught how to regulate my emotions and so I just “reacted” to life. Often we may race through life without thinking about what’s happening with us or why we act the way we do, or should I say react impulsively. Its only when we begin to notice these things and feel these inner changes happening, can we begin to take care of ourselves and what here. I’m definitely NOT perfect today but through my new found insight on how…
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