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Trauma, Addiction & Yoga – The science behind healing your life

June 24, 2021

“Addiction is a complex psychophysiological process, but it has a few key components. I’d say that an addiction manifests in any behavior that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in and therefore craves, suffers negative consequences from, and has trouble giving up.” Dr. GABOR MATÉ: Usually when we think of addicts what comes to mind is a coke or heroin addict who’s throwing their whole life away just to satisfy their “dirty” little needs. There are two main views on addiction in the world today, one of the medical system of it being a brain disease therefor rendering us helpless victims and the other being the view of the legal system claiming that it is a CHOICE which is why they use punishment as a means of “rehabilitation”. But what if none of these are true? If we go by this definition of addiction by Dr. Gabor Maté, ( a world renown retired physician & addiction/trauma specialist) I bet that anyone who took a couple minutes to honestly reflect upon their life would find that addiction doesn’t have to pertain to only substances and that they themselves may not be exempt from it either. If addiction is a choice it most certainly isn’t a conscious one and why is it that some addictions are OK and some are against the law?“Any behaviour that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in” can be not only substances like illegal and or legal drugs (like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, pain killers and other pharmaceuticals etc) but also things like food, sex, internet, pornography, gambling, binge watching tv shows, exercise, extreme sports, work, shopping the list goes on and on. If you were to take a look at your life honestly, would you admit that at one point in your life or another you have used any one or more of those things in an addictive way? Now stop and think of not WHY you did but what did these things do for you? Did they help you in numbing pain, numbing fear & anxiety, escaping from reality, relaxing, surviving, feeling pleasure, feeling loved, feeling accepted, feeling accomplished, feeling successful, feeling happy, satisfaction, releasing, fitting in, being understood, connecting, feeing courageous, getting a buz or to in simply feeling ALIVE? Are these bad things to want or normal human needs? Addictions usually start out as a temporary solution to a problem, the consequences come after. Addiction is an attempt to change our internal state by way of external things, so let’s not ask why the addiction, but like Dr. Mate like to ask WHY THE PAIN from which we are running away from? I know substances did all these things and more for me, but ever since I stopped using them I noticed addictive behaviours showing up in other areas of my life, which to me was a sign that it wasn’t the substances that were the issue but it was MUCH DEEPER than that. Addiction you see, isn’t the problem, it’s actually more of a symptom. No one chooses to be a an addict just for fun. It starts as the brains coping mechanism in early childhood development, helping the child to survive, not feeling PAIN and SUFFERING. “In the National Survey of Adolescents, teens who had experienced physical or sexual abuse/assault were three times more likely to report past or current substance abuse than those without a history of trauma.In surveys of adolescents receiving treatment for substance abuse, more than 70% of patients had a history of trauma exposure. This correlation is particularly strong for adolescents with PTSD. Studies indicate that up to 59% of young people with PTSD subsequently develop substance abuse problems.” The National Child Traumatic Stress Network www.NCTSN.org) When speaking about childhood trauma we must remember that it doesn’t necessarily have to be somethings as severe as sexual or physical abuse. Things like prenatal stress, absent parents, stressed parents (we can also add to the list intergenerational trauma as well but I’m trying to not make this short text a novel! ) and other problematic parental behaviours can cause a child to feel unwanted & unloved. To a young child it’s survival depends on it’s caregivers so this can be just as stressful to the developing brain and may cause permanent changes that will show up later in life. “The impact of stress on brain health begins in the womb. Both animal and human studies have found that prenatal maternal stress affects the brain and behavior of the offspring. Stressful life events, exposure to a natural disaster, and symptoms of maternal anxiety and depression increase the risk for the child having a range of emotional, behavioral and/or cognitive problems in later life. These include depression, anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and/or conduct disorders.“ – Prenatal stress: Effects on fetal and child brain development, AlexandraLautarescuabMichael C.CraigacVivetteGloverd A young child in nature is egocentric, it doesn’t understand why mommy and daddy have to work long days and are coming home stressed, all it knows is that it FEELS responsible for the unhappiness of the parents. This feeling of guilt changes the neurophysiology of that child forever , that’s why the biggest gift you can give to your child is your own happiness, which the child will gladly mirror. Don’t get me wrong here, im not trying to guilt shame all the parents out there. My parents did the best they could with what they had, they didn’t have a grand childhood either thats how this cycle of intergenerational trauma works. The good news is that once we are conscious of it we can change it. As a result, I ended up feeling like “the black sheep” and “problem child”who didn’t know how to control her emotions and that feeling of “not good enough” still haunts me today. I moved from Poland to New York City at the age of 5 which didn’t help me in the confidence department since I hardly knew how to speak English and was thrown…
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Starting Your Handstand Journey

February 19, 2021

Depending on what we’re starting with and our level of experience, our training and approach should look different. A beginner for example we probably shouldn’t study anatomy textbooks thinking he will find the magic recipe to holding a handstand, the only way you can learn to balance is by PRACTICING. Not to mention, we should also take into consideration all our previous movement background, body type, mobility, motivation, neural plasticity, passion, drive, past injuries, fear tolerance, expectations, strength etc. Which is why this process will look completely different for everyone, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. For some people it clicks right away and for others it may take even years, THERE IS NO MAGIC COOKIE YOU CAN EAT to learn how to do it overnight sorry to break it to you. This is a skill that takes consistent practice and learning how to take satisfaction from all those small wins because trust me there will be hours upon hours of falls and fails that seem like are going nowhere(but in all actuality this is when we actually learn the most, I’l explain the science later). It takes dedication and a #growthmindset (Carol Dweck- Growth MIndset)period dot. Think of it this way, when we are toddlers learning to walk it doesn’t happen over night. We have to fall many times until we learn to take those first steps, only then our anatomy and physics are more on our side. Our bodies are way more equipped to walk on feet than hands, however this analogy helps quite a lot when learning how to balance (also thinking of the shoulders as the hips). Not to mention during the first 25 or so years of our life our brains act just like a big sponge, soaking up everything we see and experience (good and bad) however this extraordinary neuroplasticity we have at young age makes learning a lot easier. The older we get unfortunately we have to try a lot harder and repeat things WAY more often to create those new neural pathways in order to turn whatever it is we’re learning into something reflexive(like second nature). In a full handstand for example our WHOLE body is working and every body part is doing something different. That is a lot of information for our nervous system to take in all at once, especially if we were to start checking them all off the list: point toes, thighs together, active glutes and so on etc. SO if we are just starting out, it will be probably really hard to be able to concentrate on doing all those things PLUS focus on the most important part of the handstand – balancing with our HANDS. It would probably make sense,if we were at the beginning of our handstand journey, to not bombard our minds with a million and one alignment cues when in all reality we are actually hanging on for dear life, trying to hold that handstand for a split second or two. Plus, as I just learned the other day from one of my favorite scientists Professor Andrew Huberman Huberman Lab learning inversions and other balances increases the neural plasticity of our brains AND it’s not the “perfect” straight handstand that does this, only all the errors and fails we make while learning that send signals to our CNS(central nervous system) the something is wrong and that it needs to fix it, it needs to change something! When everything is all fine and dandy there’s no need to change(just as in life), our CNS works in a similar way, but our mistakes ARE our greatest teachers propelling us to change! The banana back A banana back handstand, or in other words a curved handstand, gets a really bad rep in the hand balancing community as it’s not as aesthetically pleasing as a straight handstand, but it’s actually where a lot of people start because it’s a more natural position for the body. Ask any person who’s never held a handstand to try and kick up and see what shape they make with their body chances are it will be curved! This is actually how my freestanding handstands looked for a LONG time when I started learning, like a little baby taking it’s first steps all over again only this time on my hands! Even though it wasn’t pretty, the curved shape made it easier for me to stay up on longer on my hands and learn those subtle rocking movements like a pendulum, this my friend is the art of BALANCING. And actually, old school hand balancers performed all their handstands with curves in their back! Like the godfather of hand balancing himself, Professor Paulinetti who basically invented the one arm handstand (and the one arm Planche) and he actually did this with a curved back! There is a myth that doing curved handstands can hurt your back, but I think it’s just like anything else in life, if you’re smart about it and don’t go past your load capacity you should be safe. Let’s remember that the spine isn’t straight and naturally has CURVES, so as long as we don’t do too much too soon, push past our limit and remember to keep the deep core (TVA muscle) engaged, with practice we will build up the necessary strength and flexibility(if anatomy allows) to move on to more demanding shapes and alignment. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you won’t learn to handstand in a day either, no one starts off doing handstands with “perfect” alignement, its really subjective takes time and so we really gotta try to take in all those small wins and learn to enjoy that journey because the refinement process can last our whole life! Shoulders & Alignment I won’t lie, holding a straight handstand is HARD. The muscle activation required is significantly more difficult than in a curved handstand, not to mention it demands at least 180 degree overhead shoulder flexion, in other words straightening of the arms all…
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Chaturanga Dandasana – myths & legends of “perfect” alignment

January 27, 2021

Chaturanga Dandasana is sometimes overlooked by teachers and students alike in fast moving Vinyasa type classes even though there’s usually MANY of them. Often there will be a short run-down at the beginning of the class and an option of doing it on the knees is presented if we don’t have the strength for the full expression. Of course NO ONE wants to be the only person modifying, so often students just push through it at the sake of misalignment and this may eventually lead to injury. I feel like these days we are all in a hurry, to get to the next activity or pose. We’re trying to get our flow and sweat on it’s hard to be mindful when we’re rushing. Also let’s not just assume that all yoga instructors are knowledgeable about bodies. Often they/we learn in a specific way and don’t question it’s validity but rather continue doing it exactly the same. So depending on who you ask or what tradition of Yoga you practice, you may be met with a different “ideal Chaturanga”, however it may not be the ideal for you and your body. In its full expression Chaturanga, aka staff pose, is quite difficult and requires a strong upper body and core. There are many things that can go wrong here, especially when you are tired and moving quickly though your vinyasa. Chaturanga isn’t know in the Yoga world as the “shoulder shredder” for no reason. If there’s no stability and right muscles aren’t firing, plus we are repeating this action 20/30 times a class, 3/4 times a week, the future of our shoulders isn’t looking too good. (I’m not writing this to scare you, I just know from experience and want to save you guys the trouble and pain of dealing with a rotator cuff injury, it’s really not fun!) Don’t get me wrong here I’m not trying to say that Chaturanga as a pose is “bad” and that you should stop doing it. There’s nothing wrong with the pose in and of itself, what is important here is HOW we MOVE in and out of the pose and if it’s right for OUR body. Taking into consideration our age, body type, body proportions, condition, potential injuries etc. So are there any one size fits all alignment cues for a safe and happy Chaturanga? I say NO because EVERY BODY is different. We come into the practice with different body shapes, injuries etc so obviously our Chaturanga will also vary. One thing that doesn’t change however is the basic anatomy and biomechanics of the shoulder joint itself. The shoulder joint is is a ball and socket joint between the scapula and the humerus. It is also one of the most mobile joints in the human body, at the cost of joint stability. Which means it easily goes where we tell it too, but this often doesn’t end well in the long run. The myth of the 90 degree elbow The elbow over wrist 90 degree angle cue defiantly makes Chaturanga more aesthetic but is it helping us to do Chaturanga with good form? Well in order to get the elbow over the wrist we first need to shift the weight of our body forward in plank and are faced with a problem, we lose the activation of Serratus Anterior while the Latissimos Dorsi muscles take over. The lats are huge back muscles butt are they are more of pelvic stabilizers. Not to mention they rotate the shoulder joint INTERNALLY, which is NOT what we want in Chaturanga as it rounds our upper back pointing the head of humorous bone down (top of the shoulder) putting too much pressure on the shoulder joint. The Serratus Anterior on the other hand, is the superstar of shoulder strength and stability, It holds up our rib cage like two big hands and it is responsible for the protraction (pulling shoulder blades apart) and depression (shoulder blades going down) of the scapula, together which is responsible for the stability of the shoulder girdle. If the serious isn’t firing properly and we lose this important stability, the head of the arm bone may start to move around in its socket which can eventually lead to wear and tear of the joint. So how do we activate it you may ask? Starting in plank, first actively push the mat away lifting your heart towards the ceiling, at the same time drawing your hands back towards your feet( as if you’re shutting a window). Then imagine the huge 9 fingered hands holding your ribs and suctioning your scapula onto your upper back. (You can first try this standing up right using a wall, it can be easier to get a feel for the movement at first) Now let’s talk some physics. When our elbow is stacked over our wrist in a 90 degree angle we shift our shoulders way forward. For some people this can be too much to maintain without putting strain on the shoulders. In fact, too much weight is on one side of the center of gravity, it can be a lot for the upper body to hold. THis can be true especially if we are a new student, a weekend student, or an ambitious student doing a million Chaturanga in our practice. So if this 90 degree elbow angle works for your body, that’s great! Nevermind what you just read keep on practicing =) But let’s also recognise the fact that all our bodies are different and that there’s no one size fits all, so let’s not assume it will be good for everyone. That being said, if you feel major discomfort or pain while lowering into Chaturanga this way, you may want to rethink your movement pattern. Remember that most often the movement itself isn’t bad we need movement to keep our bodies healthy, but it’s the constant repetition that can, especially when we’re tired, be an issue. SO don’t be scare to try…
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Online VS Real life- which is better for learning Yoga?

January 3, 2021

To learn Yoga online, or not to learn? That is the question. The verdict isn’t in yet because the camp is divided. I think the answer isn’t as concrete as you may think, rather something quite subjective based on experiences and beliefs of each person. I actually started my Yoga journey online 5 years ago, with an incredible yogi, the late Leslie Fightmaster (Fightmaster Yoga on YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/c/Fightmasteryoga/videos). At the time I wasn’t in the best place mentally and was scared to go to a studio because I didn’t want to be judged by others. Back then I thought that to practice Yoga you had to be really skinny and super flexible (both of which I lacked). I think I can safely say that I may not be alone in this experience and even though now I am conscious of the fact that Yoga is FOR EVERY BODY, maybe not everyone feels comfortable practicing in a room full of people and for people like them online the option to practice online is a blessing. One of the things that really helped me keep a regular practice in the beginning was taking part in “yoga challenges” on Instagram (today I sometimes help organise them). It kept me motivated to get on my mat and try something new everyday. In result, not only did I learn new Yoga poses but I gained new insights, met some incredible yogis from all over the world (some of which I even met IRL “in real life”) and most importantly there was an element of play throughout which made me feel like a kid in the sandbox. Most mammals (humans included) learn through play, during which our brains secrete a hormone called dopamine, which puts us in a better mood and helps us to concentrate. In effect the learning process becomes easier and our brains literally remodel and rewire themselves, in other words neuroplasticity occurs. I good example of this was the famous physicist Dr. Richard Feynman (Nobel Prize in Physics for the marriage of quantum mechanics and the 19th century electromagnetic field theory), who had a passion for discovering and cultivating new creative hobbies throughout his life. He loved to draw and not only besides his famous diagrams, he even had his own art show of his drawings! He sang and played on the bongos in a band and was known to be somewhat of a “joker” by his friends, often playing tricks on them! You may be thinking what does all of this have to do with Yoga? Well, is it important which path you take if they all lead to the same destination? Some of us may have self discipline and have no problem practicing at home by ourselves, while others need to go to a Yoga studio for a led class, and still others prefer online learning. I’m a pretty eclectic person myself and depending on the day and mood, I take advantage of all the methods, as a student and as a teacher. I think it is just as likely that we may run into a “bad yoga teacher” (whatever that may mean) on a social media platform just as at a Yoga studio. And now what exactly is this “bad yoga teacher” anyway? Is it someone who washes Yoga practice down to just asana turning it into fitness, devoid of it’s philosophy and spirituality? Or is it someone who by sticking to rigid alignment cues because they are “tradition”, doesn’t bother to learn the anatomy & biomechanics of our bodies therefore making it less safe? Is if possible to have both? In my opinion, the physical location of our bodies isn’t quite as important as what is actually going on INSIDE of us during practice. Here I’ll add that not only does Yoga philosophy state that our physical body is only ONE of 5 others Koshas, but also the Theory of Quantum Entanglement says that we are we may be WAY much more connected than we actually think! So in the end I think its important to do what brings us peace and happiness while remembering to listen to that voice deep within, because that’s where our best teacher resides, US.

The neuroscience behind why some people get on their mats daily, while others quit.

December 28, 2020

I don’t know if you know but I’m a real geek when it comes to the nature of how our bodies work and why. Some of the new research in fields like neuroscience and quantum physics are just now starting to explain how some of the ancient practices from different cultures have an effect on us. Wether it’s on a molecular level or quantum level some weird things are constantly happening in our inner worlds. The more we learn about these processes the easier it can become to live a happier and healthier life, instead of having a “oh woe is me” victim mentality. I just listened to this podcast with Dr. Andrew Huberman ( Neuroscientist & Professor at Stanford University, Instagram Hubermanlabs https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab/?hl=en )where he was explaining the neuroscience behind why some people achieve their goals and others end up quitting. Dopamine (often called “the feel good hormone”) is released when we finally get that something we were craving/wanting ( like that first meal of the dat or that new pair of leggings we’ve been wanting )making us feel good or even euphoria at times. This then helps to mobilize us for action, if we can just learn to use this reward system in a constructive way, rewarding ourselves internally when reaching little milestones it’ll give us more drive and motivation to keep going forward. So having a goal like learning how to handstand or competing in the Arctic Ultra race is great and all but can also be quite scary, overwhelming and frustrating to even start thinking about. In these stressful situations our bodies release epinephrin (adrenaline) which dilates our pupils turning our vision into something like“portrait mode”,racing pulse, sweaty palms, shallow breathing toward hyperventilation, sweaty underarms, weak in the knees, random thoughts, and inability to concentrate, as well as all the other “fun” involuntary effects of the “flight, fight or freeze” response. This fear factor at the beginning of new skills/situations is where many people decide to quit, at the first sign of difficulty or if they don’t start seeing immediate progress. The way the adrenaline makes them feel internally doesn’t help to motivate us in this process UNLESS we learn to overcome the fear and anxiety. This however is not something that can be learned overnight but ask any professional athlete or performer and they will tell you, that the more we put ourselves out there and grab that fear by it’s horns, the less scary it becomes. The same thing happens when we get on our mats each day and face those hard poses we’d rather skip, we teach our bodies not to react to stressful situations(on and off the mat). When our breath is calm we quiet the body and when the body is quiet our minds are calm. For me learning how to enjoy the whole the process, filled with all the ups and downs keeps me going daily. Each time I learn how to be in a yoga pose more comfortably or hod that handstand a second longer, each new shape or press I learn is a small victory in and of itself. This is dopamine in full effect, when released it helps to suppress the feeling of agitation and anxiety letting us actually ENJOY the effort process. Not to mention this process of duration, path and outcome eventually leads to neural plasticity. Meaning that with time things become reflexive and our brain learns these movements/thought patterns or whatever “by heart” . Then we no longer need to think while doing them(like driving a car or walking).!! WIth time, during all those crappy(trust me there were and are still MANY) practices and training sessions I started to learn how to NOT be down on myself, unlike before constantly criticising. We can stop the negative thoughts fro coming in, but what we CAN DO is introduce new positive ones. Ok, so maybe I didn’t reach my “goal” but hey I showed up. I gave it my all. I got stronger in the process. I didn’t quit. I’m on the right path. I didn’t decide to eat a pint of ice cream instead. Each time new neural pathways were formed and I taught myself that I CAN still feel good about myself even if I don’t “WIN” every time . Which wasn’t an easy process with my history of of childhood trauma, depression, low self esteem and addiction. Luckily the chemicals in our body don’t discriminate. These systems are generic and once you learn how to release dopamine into your system, during lets say yoga or handstands, this important skill can also be transferred into all other areas of our lives. So I guess it really is true what they say, what doesn’t kill us literally makes us stronger and with this mindful approach to life we can make all those fails count as wins propelling ourselves forward, living a happier more fulfilled life.

Be your own light

November 2, 2020

They say when the student is ready the master will come but what are we to do when that master turns out to be just a mere mortal like the rest of us? What happens when we find out that he/she is only an imperfect “human” and not an omniscient and omnipresent being? Guru under a blanket In his book “A MIracle of Love” Ram Dass, the late former Harvard proffessor, yogi and spiritual teacher, wrote about life with his Guru Neem Karoli Baba, his students called him Majarajii. Meeting him in 1967 changed his whole life, said Ram DAss. It was only their first time meeting and it was as if he had read his mind when he asked him if he had been thinking of his mother the night prior. Ram Dass answered that he has been, Maharajii just nodded his head saying that he knew this and that his mother had died 6 months ago because of “Spleen”. Thats when something burst inside of him and his heart started to open like a flower. He cried for two days nonstop, asking himself how on Earth could this man have known this? Besides reading minds Majarajii was said to have many other “siddis”, or supernatural powers, but at the same time he claimed to be NOBODY. He was a small toothless man, who could often be found sitting under his favourite blanket, not really your visually picture perfect Guru. Nether the less everything he did and siad acted as a reflection, which showed Ram Dass how much more work he had to do on himself on his spiritual journey. This is the role of the guru, to be the mirror reflection which helps us to realise the answers are already inside us, that the real guru is us and we are looking at ourselves in the mirror. Meditation Master accused of sexual abuse After returning from India he started travelling across the U.S.A giving lectures about his experiences and learned teachings from the East, and in 1974 he joined a team of professors at the newly founded Naropa Institute(the first Buddhist-Inspired university) ran by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Who would think that a couple years after his death, his son Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche would be asked to step down from his ruling position in Shambhala International, the worlds largest Buddhist network of meditation centers, retreats, universeties and monesteries,because of sexual misconduct allegations dating back to the 90s. The law firm handling the investigation has also received numerous reports of sexual misconduct( including underage children) by other leaders and new victims continue to make themselves heard and police are investigating. All of this has left the people in the community feeling confused, hurt, sad and angry. Afterall, do the teachings that Sakyong was teaching and all that he represented still have any validity after all this has come to the surface? This is a question the Shambhala community is faced with today. Hot Yoga heats up In the 70s Bikram Choudhury and his 26 hot yoga poses swept the nation and at one point there were over 650 studios in the US with teachers repeating his words, in what is called “The Dialogue”. In 2017 the court awarded his former lawyer Minakshi Jafa-Bodden 7 million dollars and she later took control of his business after he had fled the country facing several accounts of alleged sexual assault and discrimination against racial and sexual minorities. Today you can find him in Acapulco in his speedos and gold Rolex, still teaching and training teachers for up to 17,000 dollars each who don’t seem to mind all of the allegations being made against their guru, but then again should they stop doing a practice they have grown to love because of one mans mistakes? Abuse can wear many masks Is It possible to be so blinded by faith or love to not see what is right in front of your eyes? I speak from experience when I say yes. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years back when I was a teenager. It started out as a big love like in a Hollywood movie, but gradually it all changed. He started becoming more controlling, he turned me against all my friends and before I knew it I was alone and couldn’t even leave the house without his permission. The mental and physical abuse got stronger until finally he punched me in the face breaking my nose. I was so “in love” with him I would have taken him back if he hadn’t have gone to prison, for gun posession. Abusers are master manipulators and have the power to convince you that you are wrong, crazy and that you simply deserve all the abuse. Uneven power dynamics In a healthy relationship the “power dyanmics” should be somewhat evenly balanced and in a perfect world the people with more power (including the authority figures, politicians, armies, police as well as all the teachers and Gurus) should be responsible to SERVE the rest. Unfortunatly not everyone can resist the temptation of over using their power and keep their ethics and morality in tact. Especially if they have undiagnosed and untreated trauma. Respecting authority is something we are taught early on in life and all is fine and well until it turns out they were flawed or mentally ill, that’s when the abuse begins. Should you forgive sexual abuse? Anneke Lukas was sold as a child sex slave to a pedophile network at the age of 6 by her mother.The network was ran by high ranking political aristocrats. After 5 years of regular rape, she was rescued by someone on the inside. Her long healing journey has lasted over 30 years and consisted of writing, physco-therapy, yoga, meditation and service to other sex trafficking and satanic ritual victims inside and outside of prisons through her non-profit organisation Liberation Prison Yoga. She first met K. Pattabhi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga, in 2001 during…
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Learning to puppy press

July 2, 2020

Here’s a list of what you will need to be able to and or learn to achieve your goal: You should be able to hold a solid handstand fo at least a couple of seconds first before trying to learn to press Work on your forward folds and lengthening your spine & hamstrings Work on your compression strength – TVA muscle activation accompanied with hip flexor activation Work on core strength Work on shoulder strength Work on quad strength PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE! If you feel you’ve checked all the above boxes, you can start working on your drills. There are a number of ways you can work your progressions into puppy press. Examine what are your problem areas and focus on helping them. Depending on your body type and body issues you will need to work different drills. For example if you have tight hamstrings you can try stepping with that straight leg on top of some yoga blocks, a stool a couch whatever, this way you can see your knee bent and at the same time elevate your hips so you can press. If your problem area is not engaging the core while trying to press, you can place a block or something between your thigh and belly to remind you to turn on that compression strength! Usually the two biggest issues I’ve come across people having is the fear of falling over or lack of general strength which was holding them back( in my case also). For this I would suggest making friends with Paul the Wall, or a bed/couch. It will eliminate the fear factor right of the bat and you can focus on building strength and muscle memory. The more you repeat certain movements your body memories them, so you don’t have to think about it because it just happens automatically. All types of movements Ike walking, running, eating, driving a car, same goes for handstands and presses. Also I suggest to really focus on making your exit and lower as slow as possible. This will teach your body exactly what it has to do on the way up! As with learning any skill, this may come as a shock to you I know, it doesn’t happen over night! But I speak from experience when I say that with systematic practice it is something attainable! I learned to handstand at the age of 35 with no prior gymnastic/dance/circus experience. All I had was a will to do it! A year later I was getting a couple of seconds of hang time and the following year I was learning all the presses. BUt like I said everyone is different, with different levels of experience, body types, strengths, weaknesses and predispositions. Be kind to yourself, don’t compare yourself to others, just get on your mat and practice! If you put that work in, it’ll happen!

Uncertain Times

July 1, 2020

In these uncertain times one thing is certain, that nothing is permanent. This pandemic swept across our planet like a tsunami. At times I really felt like I was living in some sort of Hollywood blockbuster movies, totally surreal. At first I thought it was all some sort of elaborate hoax, propagated by the media and governments. I laughed at all the people panicking. I had stopped watching TV a couple of years back so there was no way I was about to turn on the news, but then one day the severity of the situation just hit me like a running train. I couldn’t live in denial anymore, social media were filled with news of all the people dying in China and now Italy. The fear and panic of others started to attach itself to me the more I read about it. I had only healed from cancer 2 years ago, am I in the high risk group? Am I going to die? Are my friends and loved ones going to die? Yes, eventually everyone will die, even me, but that wasn’t the point. The fear kept getting bigger and my anxiety worse. Still, each morning I got on my mat. Inhale. Exhale. I don’t practice yoga to master the poses, although progress in them is nice I won’t deny that, I practice because it teaches me to live in the present moment. It teaches me to respond rather than react. It teaches me to connect to my body and it shows me that I’m so much more than that. The slow deep steady breath sends a message to the parasympathetic nervous system that it’s ok, you can relax It’s especially important in difficult poses(like Kapotasana for example =P) my body learns it can overcome difficult situations and that all is well, this later reflects in my daily life. When yoga is practiced this way it becomes a moving meditation, this is why I love Ashtanga Yoga because it later reflects in my daily life. A moving meditation is great but sometimes we need to just sit still and feel grounded. Noting has helped me more in these chaotic times of the pandemic than my meditation practice. It’s not aways pleasant, the body hurts, the mind wanders.. but with each itch you don’t scratch, you get stronger. You slowly start to realise that you’re not this body afterall, or the heart and its emotions or the mind with it’s endless thoughts, plans and doomsday premonitions. You start to awaken to the fact that you are the observer behind it all, the loving awareness, the one who knows. On some days during this #lockdown2020 I woke up feeling hopeful, high on energy and the creative juices flowed like a waterfall. I finally finished my website, started a YouTube channel, created lots of content and so on. I actually feel great! Happy I don’t have to go anywhere and that I could just concentrate on creating and growing. On other days I would wake up with a black cloud over my head. Feeling heavy, sad, paranoid and like someone sucked all the life out of me. My mind took me on wild fearful rides like magic mountain in Disney World. I started thinking of the worst possible scenarios, believing they would all come true. I didn’t see any silver linings or happy endings, on those days my spiritual practice was especially important. You see it’s easy to practice when all is well, but the real work and growth starts to happen when times get tough. Sitting in meditation has showed me how wild my mind actually is(it’s not just mine, it’s yours too buddy!). Our mind secretes thoughts like the tongue secretes saliva. The thoughts come and go, and none of them are necessarily a reflection of reality. Learning to notice them, accept & honor them and not react to them is a life long process, but one worth embarking upon. Through the daily practice of living mindfully and non- attachment we will gradually suffer less. Instead of constant desire, wanting and grasping or constant aversion and pushing away of life.. we will accept life more gracefully following the path of the middle way, with our hearts wide open.

Becoming Nobody

April 9, 2020

I didn’t start practicing Yoga to get enlightened, I started because I was obsessed with getting fit training at the gym everyday and I heard that practicing Yoga was a great way to “stretch” after a strenuous workout. One thing led to another and my love affair with the gym ended abruptly and my Yoga Journey began. The first year wasn’t easy, even though I was only 32 years old I was stiff as a rock and could barely reach my toes. What kept me coming back on my mat was the physical progress at first, my body started changing and opening. Even though the first couple of months I spent with videos on YouTube(I was too embarrassed to go to a Yoga class) I also started having different flashbacks on my mat, the memories and emotions which were stored in my body were coming out, I laughed and cried as my body cleansed. Then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. My Ashtanga practice was with me during my surgery, radiotherapy and recovery. I bought my mat to the hospital, it kept me going and it gave me hope. I started meditating for the first time, to keep the flood of fearful thoughts from drowning me. At first it was extremely difficult to quiet my monkey mind. I used different led meditations because I couldn’t concentrate on anything for longer than a second, but gradually I trained that monkey to sit still for longer amounts of time. Another level of Yoga started to reveal itself to me. It was no longer just a physical practice of Asana, Dharana and Dhayana began giving me insight into my inner being. I relived all the traumatic events during my meditation states, I cried, I hugged the sad, broken, little girl inside. Not only was my body changing, I started changing from the inside out. I found the light within me, I connected to something bigger. I can’t put it into words, but it gave me strength to keep going forward. I started changing negative thought patterns and habits, my victim mentality had to go! I started to be kind to myself once again, learning to let things go. Today I still get on my mat and meditate regularly. Today I am cancer free. So is Yoga just stretching? Or is it something more? The ancient Hindu texts clearly state the prior. The only problem is, that the majority of the people in the West have watered it down to being just a physical practice. Don’t get me wrong, it does do wonders for the body if we stay committed but it has the potential to do so much more. I started teaching Yoga because I want to share my insights with the world. No I’m not special, anyone can do this. Awakening to your true nature, realising who you really are is possible when you are ready. This is why I’m not just an Asana teacher. Yes it is important to take care of our bodies, we only get this one in this incarnation after all, but we are not the body, we are so much more than that. We are a loving awareness, a consciousness, a soul, a spirit… whatever metaphor you want to use is fine with me. Everything in this universe is made of the same stuff, quantum physics will concur. So who are you really? If you are made of the same stuff that stars are made of? Thinking we are separate is just an illusion, we are all “just God in drag” like Ram Dass used to say. My whole life I wanted to become somebody, but now I’m on a path to becoming nobody(please check out the recently released movie about the life of the incredible soul, yogi and spiritual teacher Ram Dass, Becoming Nobody).

Man’s Best Friend

January 29, 2020

They say a dog is man’s best friend, but is a human the best friend of a dog or any other animal for that matter? I feel that people in bigger cities are becoming more and more conscious of the fact that hurting animals is immoral and that the awareness of animal rights is on the rise, however we are only at the beginning of the journey. Every fulltime yogi has heard of the first Yoga Sutra of Patanjali, Ahimsa, which talks about non harming and compassion. It is one of the main principles in Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism (it’s also present in most religons of the world under different names) and says that hurting any living being, regardless if it’s a dog or flower, comes with some serious karmic repercautions. For most yogis is quite obvious that we don’t harm animals, we don’t eat meat and we don’t wear fur coats or leather shoes. I mean we don’t want to have bad karma and come back in our next reincarnation as a donkey, or even worse a spider! This is a very important part of our Sadhana (spiritual) practice, but sometimes it may be just another label. Another way to show others how cool we are, meanwhile our attachment to our body and ego only gets stronger. Over 2,500 years ago the Buddha shared with the world what was revealed to him under the Bodhi tree, the Four Noble Truths (Dukkha, Samudaya, NIrodaha Magga). They talk about how in this life theres only one thing in this life that’s certain, there will be suffering. The source of our suffereing is our attachments and clinging, the only way to stop the suffereing is by staying on the right path even though it may be difficult. Krishna speaks on this in the Bhagavad Gita, stating that the only way to get rid our suffering which is caused by our attachments and wants is to renounce them work towards self-realization. Only once the veil is lifted from our eyes do we start to remember a long forgotten truth, that we are so much more than our bodies and minds, that we are a spiritual being and that’s when our road to Moksha(liberation) begins. SO how do we get rid of these desires, attachments and wants that our “self” with a small ”s” wants and wants? There are many roads to enlghtmenet but they all lead to the same place, to becoming one with God, Buddha, Brahman, Jehova, Allah, the Higher Power, the Universe or however you may choose to label it. In all actuality the core of most monotheistic religons is quite similar, that we are not this body only something much much more, a spirit(the metaphors may be different but the message is the same). How we choose to live here and now ultimately creates our future destiny, do we want to live in a world of ignorance,denial and illusion(Maya) or do we walk towards awakening? The decision is ours. If and when we are ready to walk this path we have many holy books and other ancient texts to learn from. The choice of spiritual teachers to learn from is vast so we have to be sure to pick one that resonates with us. As Jack Kornfield likes to say, “spiritual practice should not be confised with grim duty”. In Yoga we have 4 different paths to choose from, all of which tell us how to live harmoniously with our Dharma while moving our body, mind and spirit towards holistic unity. We can pick one of these paths or reap the benefits from all if we chose. Bhakti Yoga is the yoga of total love and devotion to God, who we worship through prayer and devotional singing(Bhajanas and kirtans). Raja Yoga, or Ashtanga Yoga, is based on controlling our bodies and minds through different techniques(asanas, pranayamas, meditation)which are said to lead us to Samadhi through the transformation and transmutation of our spiritual energy. Gyana Yoga is the yoga of the intellect, sutable for those of us who find it easier to use the left side of our brain for logical reasoning. By using our intellect in a constructive way through reading holy texts, like the Vedas, in order to awaken to God and the higher power within us. Karma Yoga is usually thought of as the yoga of action and selfless service, but it can also have a devotional character. In the Baghavad Gita Krisha tells Arjuna to act and do his duties without being attached to the outcome because the fruits of the labor belong not to him, but to Krishna. Karma Yoga teaches us that every one of our actions is a chance to purify ourselves through service to others, doing something out of guilt or duty doesn’t serve anyone so what matter here is that our intentions are good. It is a yoga of being in the here and now and doing all our actions so mindfully and intensively that all that’s left is the “washer of the dishes”, you transform into what you are doing, you and the action become one being, without attachment to the outcome. Its similar to the process of becoming the observer during our meditation practice, only here you have every second of the day to be mindfully aware and present in the here and now and not attached to the actor who you think you’re playing in this drama called your life. Volunteering in an animal shelter isn’t easy. Your heart breaks looking at all the helpless and innocent creatures who lost their homes, some that never even had them. I just want to take them all home and love them forever, but since that’s not realistic, all that I can do is be there for them, present with an open compassionate heart ready to serve. This is mindfulness. I concentrate on the “here and now” , on what I’m feeling and doing- I am present for those dogs. When I…
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