English Archives - Spiritual Bish

Shadow work for women

August 22, 2024

Be sexy but don’t be a slut. Lose weight, but be curvy. Be vulnerable, but don’t show emotion. Be confident, but don’t be a bitch. Be authentic, but don’t show too much. Be ready to please, but don’t give your power away. Be smart, but not too smart. Be natural, but shave your body hair. Be strong, but stay soft. Be bold, but stay silent. Be original, but don’t be too much. Be tame, but also a freak. To be a lady they said… Impossible. Here’s some thoughts about how we can come into a life of wholeness + authenticity as women👇 When we embrace our shadow and befriend our body, we start to unravel the conditioning + break free from all these societal “norms” and “shoulds” of the “role” of a woman. These layers of programming keep us stuck and disconnected from what’s raw, real, and authentically ours – the intelligence of our animal body + the intuition of our heart, in other words the wisdom of our authentic embodied Self. These rules and impossible expectations create inner pressure, cycles of self-doubt, protective fragmentation, nervous system dysregulation and dis-ease. It’s no wonder that 80% of people with autoimmune are women, or that we are twice as likely to develop PTSD. Somatic shadow work invites us to get compassionately curious and courageously vulnerable, feeling into what we’ve been taught to ignore- our inner voice and the felt sense of our wise animal body. This is where embodied transformation begins. It’s a journey of being guided by sacred rage, confronting our hidden fears, and allowing ourselves to grieve unmet needs and wounds. This makes space for contacting our deepest desires, the wisdom of our body, and bringing home those orphaned parts of Self we may have once hidden to belong, be loved, to stay safe and connected. It’s in our human animal nature to share, care, and belong to our herd, and at the same time, fitting in to a toxic tight little distorted BOX is not the same thing as truly belonging to an embracing community, just for being you. You belong here just as you are. You belong for being YOU. There’s nothing you have to do, to prove your worth. It’s ok to disappoint others sometimes, so you can tend and befriend your SELF. When we begin to untangle these emotional wounds and unravel the societal shoulds, we step into a life of wholeness, liberation, authenticity, and deep self intimacy + enoughness. We begin to accept ourselves fully, just as we are without the need to be externally validated – that’s freedom🩷 What parts of you are wanting to be witnessed? What might you need to feel safe enough to express + give them voice? check out this video that always brings me to tears on YouTube shine light on your shadow, start your somatic coaching journey explore all my offerings

Inviting the body into coaching: the power of integrative somatic coaching

May 17, 2024

what the heck does somatic mean anyway? The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma meaning the body. The term “somatics” was first coined by Thomas Hannah in the 1970’s, however long before this kind of mind-body work cam about in the “west”, ancient and indigenous lineages have long known about it and it’s importance. So I would like to just pause here for a moment and recognize that somatics are heavily influence by eastern, indigenous, and shamanic cultures but often over looked, culturally-appropriated and not given their proper credit. So from a social justice, anti-racist, and trauma-informed point of view you could say that the term somatics is the product of white washing and colonization. The idea of the embodiment is nothing new. Our ancestors have been dancing, singing, connecting, growing, and healing through different mind-body-spirit rituals since we were expressing ourselves through drawings in caves. It all changed around the time Decartes said “I think therefor I am”, and the mind and brain sat up on a pedestal. We started to disregard the body as a tool or machine, and the spirit was thrown away along with it. Welcome to the era of disembodiment. Today there isn’t just one but many different somatic frameworks, lineages, and modalities, and even though they are different they all agree in the importance of including the body in our life and connecting to all of it’s inherent wisdom, intuition, and instinct. In general, somatics is the study and practice of the mind and body working together to enhance the human experience though inner dialogue with the emergent wisdom and implicit cellular memory, meaning unconscious body memories. It’s a process of self discovery, self awareness, and cultivating the sense of interception, in other words learning to speak the language of the body from the inside out. zooming out From a holistic perspective, our soma includes not just our animal body, but also our mind, and perhaps even the spirit. So the soma isn’t just the biological body, it is the whole, complex, living organism. This includes the conscious and unconscious mind and all of its thoughts, beliefs, internal narratives, imagery, and symbols, as well as the body’s sensations, feelings, emotions, and nervous system states. The thing is, our soma doesn’t live in a vacuum. We are biopsychosocial beings, meaning besides the biology and psychology, there is also the in between relational world. And so all of these things and our life experiences literally “shape” us, the shape of our body, our actions and non actions, our relationship to our Self, to other people, to the world around us. And so this somatic shape of ours also holds our learned behaviours, automatic embodied habits, relational strategies, societal “norms”, masks, survival roles, protective parts, younger child parts, and many different adaptive patterns living and running our life from the shadows. If we were to zoom out a bit more we might recognise that besides the obvious impact of family dynamics and other close relationships on our soma, there are also the cultural and collective layers. So depending on where we are born we may inherit certain beliefs, norms and traditions. If we zoom out even more we might recognize how somatics also invite us to look at the impact of systems and institutions that operate in our westernized dominant culture. And depending on what you look life, your ability, your skin color, your income, your gender, your sexual orientation, you will have less privilege and be set up to suffer more injustice and oppression. And if again we zoom even further out we are invited to look at the collective, environmental and perhaps even spiritual landscapes. Here we might see that our soma is also shaped by our ancestors, all their lived experiences, and the history of the culture we were raised in (intergenerational trauma and resilience). We could also see that our relationship to the planet, nature, the animals and plants also reflects in how we are shaped. After all we are made from the same stuff as all other living beings on this planet, and yet many of us forget and treat nature as something to conquer and dominate. And if this is in your belief, our soma to many people is also tied into the energetic, ethereal and spiritual realms, but that’s a whole other long topic. set up your free discovery call! inviting the body into coaching Most coaching out there centres around mindset, beliefs and story but understanding something alone often isn’t enough to create embodied transformation. Somatic approaches are gaining popularity over the last 15 years because they can bring about positive transformation more quickly – via the nervous system. A whopping 80% of the information that travels to the brain comes from the body via the vagus nerve and only 20% of the information travels from the brain to the body. Much of the western world has become disembodied, putting the mind on a pedestal, but when were disconnected from our body, we lose out on important information , which is sent from the body to our conscious mind. Neuroscience studies have shown that the brain and body are interwoven – we cannot change one without the other. Ancient and indigenous traditions have always understood the importance of inner work, the transformational potential of repetitive movement on the body and the impact it has on the mind. The good news is through neroplasticity we can reprogram the brain, rewire the nervous system and reshape the body, not only during the activity but in all areas of our life. This is embodied transformation, When we are using our felt sense, parts of the brain responsible for emotional processing, self-awareness, and interception (inner felt sense) come online, which means we tap into the possibility of embodied transformation of neurophysiological, emotional, and postural patterns. When we work only cognitively (with story, mindset, beliefs and other content) this isn’t possible. my approach to somatic coaching My personal approach to Somatic Coaching is trauma-informed and integrative, which means I do not…
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What is Complex Trauma?

December 4, 2023

This text is about complex trauma, also known as developmental trauma or C-PTSD, it’s relational aspect and how it differers from the diagnosis of PTSD. I’ll also share a bit about my own process of healing and how I personally view it. what is trauma anyway? Depending on where you are in the world and who you ask, the definitions will vary. The view that I follow is the one that many of the world’s leading body-mind and trauma specialists have, which is that trauma is not in the event, but it’s what happens inside the body as a result, and if there wasn’t a caring empathetic other to help support us through it. I particularly like the way Dr. Albert Wong describes trauma in this article here in Psychology Today saying, “Trauma impacts much more than just our thoughts and actions. Trauma is far-reaching and systemic—it cuts us to our bones. It can dissolve our sense of identity, diminish our capacity to locate ourselves accurately in time and space, inhibit our tolerance for interpersonal relatedness, disrupt the coherence of our experience, impair our capacity for emotional regulation, and so much more.Trauma impacts much more than just our prefrontal cortex or our behavioral activation system. It impacts our whole being—and it must be treated from a whole being perspective. Importantly, any legitimate trauma treatment must consider all of our being—the entirety of our body-mind—not just our thoughts and behaviors, alone… A tidal change in our zeitgeist is slowly emerging. The importance of the body—and the felt experience therein, once again, is starting to rise.” Things that can cause trauma are big horrific events like war, accidents, natural disasters, operations, the death or loss of a loved one, assault, or sexual, physical and emotional abuse- it can be traumatic to go through it personally and we can also be impacted by trauma if it happens to someone we love. The truth is we are all complex, multi-layered, living beings and since we are all different, trauma and its impacts will also vary and depend on many factors. Two people can live through the same catastrophe and be effected differenty, one will bounce back quckly, and the other may suffer debilitating symptoms. Why, you may be wondering? IT’s not just the event, but our nervous system’s internal reaction to it. When something is too much, too fast too soon, or too little too late, is another way that trauma is often described. This will drastically vary from individual to individual, and according to the CDC ( Center for Disease Control and Prevention from the US) here’s some added layers that might contribute: generational embodiment/ historical trauma, social conditions/local context, and adverse childhood experiences which lead to disrupted neurodevelopment and social, emotional & cognitive impairment to name a few). Confusion of different names and diagnosis of trauma PTSD was the first official diagnosis of trauma and came about from American war Veterans. Before that, it was thought that it was a kind of mental weakness and that it just something made up, the said “it’s all in your head”. The diagnosis of PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder) consists of 3 main symptom clusters: re-experiencing of the trauma (for example nightmares, flashbacks), avoidance of reminders of trauma-related stimuli (for example places that reminded the person of the event, talking about the experience) and hypervigilance (for example easy startle, excessive attention to potential threat). In the US, the DSM has since that first 1980 diagnosis expanded the symptom profile to include 20 symptoms, 4 clusters and dissociation. According to Cambridge, “One consequence of this expansion has been that the possible symptom combinations allow for 636 120 ways to be diagnosed with DSM-5 PTSD, leading to potential complications in assessment and treatment planning.” In the US there have been efforts to make trauma less about symptoms and more about encompassing the totality of the pain and suffering of the human experience by creating new diagnosis like “developmental trauma” and complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), but at least in the US its complicated because of how the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) functions – if you don’t know what the problem is, follow the money and who is funding what, cough big Pharma cough. Besides the diagnosis of PTSD since 2018, the eleventh revision of the IDC-11 ( International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems) that is used here in Europe where I live, has added a new diagnosis of C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder). Well actually it may seem new, but decades ago Judith Herman was talking about the impact of chronic relational power dynamics and trauma in her research and her 1992 book Trauma and Recovery. Herman worked with mostly child and women survivors of abuse and atrocities that were relational and chronic in nature, before her trauma was mostly a diagnosis reserved for male Veterans. In The British Journal of Psychiatry Marylène Cloitre explains, “a long history of clinical observation that individuals who experienced chronic, repeated and prolonged traumas, such as childhood sexual abuse or domestic violence, tended to experience more complex reactions extending beyond those typically observed in PTSD”. According to the IDC-11 C-PTSD “ includes the three core elements of PTSD as well as three additional elements called disturbances in self-organisation that are pervasive and occur across various contexts: emotion regulation difficulties (for example problems calming down), negative self-concept (for example beliefs about self as worthless or a failure) and relationship difficulties (for example avoidance of relationships).” Some examples of complex trauma (C-PTSD) could include: • Childhood abuse or neglect • Domestic violence/sexual assault • Human trafficking • War or political conflict • Being chronically misgendered Recognising this is a step forward, at least in Europe, however there is still a big elephant in the room. Mainly, these diagnosis are mostly focused on “getting rid of the symptoms”, not on looking at and understanding the whole person- are the symptoms the problem or…
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Stop shaming your shame!

November 9, 2023

Often times feelings of shame and trauma can be intertwined so it would make sense that if we feel shame, we might want to get rid of it, perceiving it as something “bad”. But does this vilifying and shaming actually get rid of shame? We live in a culture that is obsessed with self-improvement and productivity which can often promote this ill treatment of parts of ourselves. When we are constantly being bombarded with “5 ways to get healthy” or “ do this to optimise your wellbeing”, it could be hard to not feel like you’re doing something wrong. As a person with complex trauma who grew up with parents who had their own unresolved wounds and trauma, I’ve always had a way of being that was really harsh on myself. But as I move forward on this 17th year of my healing journey, I’m able to be more and more compassionate, kind and curious to myself and yes, even to all those pesky parts of me which I always hated. From my own experience and from folks I’ve worked with I found that it is quite common to want to get rid of these shameful parts in hopes that it will bring some sort of resolution, perhaps resulting in more self-love, trauma resolution or healing and/or transforming deeply ingrained patterns, behaviors, strategies or conditioned tendencies. Then there’s those of us who might rather just pretend we don’t have any shame, detaching from our body so we don’t have to feel any of it. Either way, this kind of approach usually just continues the spiral of inner chaos and shaming the shame like a dog chasing it’s own tail. If we look at this from a somatic trauma-informed lense, what could sometimes happen is that trauma freezes these wounded parts of us in the past. And these frozen often times younger parts of us hold on to beliefs ( I am broken, It is always my fault) and emotions ( shame, fear, grief, unworthiness). It is quite normal that we don’t want to feel this pain of the past, so our soma ( nervous system and body-mind as a living organism) does it’s job of self-protection and works hard to keep all those parts hidden or exiled. This is where we might avoid by distracting ourselves with work or other “busyness”, ignore, numb out and detach from feeling our body, or shame ourselves – cue the inner critic or perfectionist part- which has become quite a prevalent way of being in our modern industrialised “western” world. We may think that by exiling these parts we will finally not have to feel any pain, discomfort, or distress by avoiding overwhelming emotions, bodily sensations, memories or beliefs. But the truth is this won’t make it all go away, it all just gets suppressed and thrown into a pressure cooker inside us just waiting to explode like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Healing and transformation only come once we start to acknowledge, accept, validate and love all those parts that we keep locked away in the basement. This is integration and the process of whole-ing! It’s kind of like having a little puppy, it may try to get your attention by chewing on your shoe or barking at you a million times until you notice them and play with them. These younger parts that live inside us are just like that puppy, just waiting to be seen, heard, and witnessed. Thanks to studies on conscious and love-centred parenting and we now know that scolding and other fear-based coercive punishing of children (and puppies) only increases levels of fear and anxiety, so why would we want to repeat the same thing to ourselves? In my own personal somatic parts practice as well as while working with clients, I have adopted the belief that “there are no bad parts” and that they all have wisdom. Which comes from a humanist perspective as well ad the Internal Family Systems framework conceptualised by Dr. Richard Swartz. Through somatic awareness, sensing and feeling, and embodiment insight and integration we can learn to listen to and separate all these parts of ourselves from our Highest Self or Self energy, and this concept actually which actually originates from ancient and indigenous traditions like Buddhism and Yoga. It can be counterintuitive to view these exiled parts that are perhaps “lazy”, “unhealthy”, or even “self-destructive” ( like the shamed parts, the critical part, the addictive part, the people pleaser part) as wise, but have you ever considered that they may have been helpful, or maybe even saved your life, at some point? It makes sense that we may hate them if they have caused us suffering and destruction, but often times they came into being to help us survive a difficult expereience(s) and have good intentions. When our basic human needs of safety, belonging and dignity aren’t being met, our genius nervous system figures out ways to adapt so we can get those needs met! I used to really hate my inner critic. I viewed it as my mothers voice, that was mean, aggressive, constantly pushing me harder and judging me. I can see now that originally this critical part was meant for good, as a first generation Polish-American immigrant I wanted to make my parents proud. I thought that if I only worked hard enough, got the best grades and became totally perfect, finally my parents and everyone around me would accept me and I wouldn’t feel so alone. We moved around a lot and I went through 3 schools in the first five years of elementary school. My parents were constantly at work trying to make sure I had a better future, and I was left feeling all alone and like I didn’t belong anywhere. Of course this inner critic part came into existence, it wanted to help feel belonging, worthy and safe! Over time this critical part started to make me more and more anxious,…
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Stress in itself isn’t bad!

August 7, 2023

It’s what happens in our nervous system as a result of the stress response not completing that causes issues. Stress gets a bad rep, but in all actuality, without it we wouldn’t get far in life 🙈 The stress response is a product of evolution that gives us energy and helps us survive when we are in a life threatening situation. It helps you jump out of the way of a speeding car, to run away from a wild animal, and even to do things like yoga or exercise. Stressors (stressful situations) and body tension of all different kinds and sizes are part of every day life. Just the right amount of stress will give us the energy to mobilise and do all the things. However, if there is too much of this “survival energy” and the cycle doesn’t complete, it could lead to physical and mental burnout. Which is why it’s really important to understand what goes on inside the body and how to take care of yourself so that this stress and tension isn’t part of your everyday reality. Stress and stressors Stressors are all the things that bring us stress aka turn on the stress response in our soma (body-mind organism). Sometimes this happens because of a life threatening event, sometimes because of a series of events (like chronic abuse, neglect or systemic oppression), and other times the stressor may be your boss, partner, parent or your inner critical part – the nervous system doesn’t discriminate it just reacts to protect you, it can’t tell if the threat is real or “in your head” so to speak. Stress is what happens in your body. IT’s the neurophysiological process that happens in your body-mind organism when you feel you are in danger. Sometimes this gets called the fight- flight- freeze responses, but basically your heart starts to beat faster, your body gets flooded with different chemicals (like adrenaline), your muscles tighten, the blood goes into your limbs and your body shuts down the functioning of certain systems (like immunity and digestion) – all to get you ready to SURVIVE. It’s in the nervous system So not the stress that’s “bad” but the dysregulation of the nervous system that could happen if this cycle gets interrupted. Its important to understand that this stress response happens automatically in a split second. Evolutionarily this helped our ancestors survive when they encountered a wild animal. There’s no time to think about it, it doesn’t happen in our “wise mind” (the prefrontal cortex), it happens in the older parts of our brain that react instinctually. In modern times we may not have wild animals lurking behind the corner but our nervous system still treats all the threats we come across in life, both little ad big, as if it was a tiger stadning on our path. Then and now. Getting this cycle “unstuck” is nuance and highly personal, but one things for certain, getting that energy to move through the body, mobilization, will complete the cycle. Often times we may think that dealing with the stressor is the solution. “If my job is stressful, I’ll just find a new one” or “If my partner just stops doing this thing I hate, I won’t be so stressed”. Getting rid of the stressor may work temporarily, but it’s not the same as letting the stress cycle complete. all that energy still lives inside the body. Imagine how much energy it takes to run away from a tiger, that’s how much energy may be inside just wanting to be expressed! Just because we no longer see the threat it doesn’t mean that the body instantaneously just shut off the alarm system. The sympathetic part of the nervous system is still actively creating all the ENERGY you need to protect yourself. And once you mobilize and use up all that energy and you are in safety, a flexible nervous system will gradually go through the there parts of the cycle ( rest, digest and restoration) and your body will return back to baseline or homeostasis. Our ancestors mobilised and used this energy naturally because the threats were constant and real, in the sense that there were wild animals and things to run away from. Today the threats are often psychological which doesn’t make them any less real by the way, and not to mention when one stressor finishes another one usually starts- rushing to work, paying bills, ruptures in relationships- so the chances that we will encounter stressful situations again are certain – its part of our human experience. Completing the cycle. Not letting this survival energy get stuck in our body, instead mobilising it and getting it to pass through and express is an important step in completing the cycle and coming back to safety- homeostasis. It may seem obvious, but what would you do if you saw a tiger? You’d run! Imagine how much of that energy might be coursing through your body wanting to be expressed. Ever wondered why your jaw, shoulders and face are so tight even after doing all that yoga? Your body is still getting ready. So what should you do to get that energy moving? Well MOVE! It can be any movement really from running, exercising, dancing yoga, or cleaning your house, but the important thing to keep in mind here is that you are not using your mind =) but you drop into your body, FEEL and you do it with intention. When we’re running from a tiger we aren’t doing a beautiful choreography, so we aren’t thinking about it or performing. Getting this stuck energy moving involves connecting to your intuition, to sensing, feeling, being and getting weird with it. It means following your body’s innate impulses to jump, draw, paint, shake, stretch, walk, contract, expand, run, make noises, breathe, tremor, twist, twirl, dance to your favourite song or whatever! And good news, this doesn’t have to be an hour long strenuous workout, just move your body…
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The Sister Wound, and how to start healing our relationships with other women

May 20, 2023

Sister, woman, goddess who knows, we don’t have to compete with each other. We don’t have to mistrust or envy each other. This is not our natural state.In the past, women often came together to create, celebrate, and experience difficult moments together. We didn’t destroy each other. Women gathered at the well, by the fire, in tents, ate together at tables, or gathered in nature, creating magical healing experiences where they listened to each other and drew wisdom from each other. Women began to grow stronger, more expressive. Unfortunately, the history of witch hunts and patriarchal oppression took that away from us. You might be thinking, why were witches hunted in Europe and early colonies? Simply because they were women and dared to come together in community. There is nothing more dangerous to a system and people who want to rule than individuals who are aware of their power. The witch hunts (along with the genocide of indigenous peoples during colonialism) were attempts to halt the development, healing, and empowerment of women (and indigenous peoples) in groups. This collaboration and power threatened the patriarchal structure that kept them powerless. And so, millions of women (and indigenous peoples) were killed over the years for being “witches,” “shamans,” and “devils.” Ultimately, women stopped coming together and stopped trusting each other. And patriarchy continued, and a deep part of us probably still feels uneasy about these kinds of gatherings due to the historically associated dangers. This is called collective or intergenerational trauma. We may not consciously remember it, but much research suggests that our ancestors pass on their difficult experiences to us genetically and epigenetically. (https://amp.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/21/study-of-holocaust-survivors-finds-trauma-passed-on-to-childrens-genes) Modern media and culture often perpetuate these negative beliefs, which further hinder our community-building. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming sisterhood, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken from us but still resides within us. What is the sister wound? The sister wound is the pain and mistrust between women. It is the result of a patriarchal society that harms us and pits us against each other instead of uniting us. Healing the sister wound gives us the power and magic that we can reclaim. It is the last thing patriarchy wants us to focus on. By lifting and supporting each other, we counteract the system of oppression. Healing the sister wound is our rebellion against patriarchy and the key to reclaiming our power. This wound grows in darkness and isolation. To heal it, we must step into the light. By seeing each other without fear, we can heal in circles, in ceremonies, in community. This is our strength against patriarchy. Being in community is crucial for healing the sister wound. In women’s circles, we can share our shame, fears, and uncertainties, and you begin to recognize yourself in the words of other women, like in a fairy tale mirror. This circle magic happens when you hear other women, women you may perceive as “confident,” and realize that they have the same feelings, wounds, and experiences as you. “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.” – Brene Brown You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in darkness and our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. You probably feel that these shameful parts are alive within us all the time, living in the darkness and in our subconscious. But they cannot be healed until we bring them into the light. By healing the parts of ourselves that live in the basement of our subconscious, we alchemize emotions, turning them into gold and transforming our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone. We can support and uplift each other, allowing us to regain our power, build connections, and see women as sisters rather than competitors. Participating in women’s gatherings or circles can gradually untangle all these knots woven by patriarchy. It can have a beautiful and magical impact on your life Common examples of the sister wound include: ◦ Difficulties in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships with other women due to feelings of mistrust or jealousy. ◦ Low self-worth or lack of self-confidence, especially in social situations with other women. ◦ Tendency to unfavorably compare oneself to other women or feel threatened by their success or achievements. Three ways in which we can begin to heal the sister wound: ◦ Building awareness and understanding that competition and jealousy among women result from systemic oppression, not inherent to femininity. ◦ Practicing empathy and supporting other women, instead of comparing oneself to them or treating them as rivals. ◦ Co-creating safe spaces where you can openly discuss your experiences and feelings with other women, share emotions, and support each other in the healing process, such as women’s circles. The sister wound has deep roots, dating back to the burning of women at the stakes. However, I believe that we can break this cycle, especially in today’s times of chaos, striving for success at any cost, dominance, and polarization. Our planet needs cooperation, community, and compassion, which are all aspects of the divine feminine energy that flows within each of us (not just women). If we want our planet and the future of our children and families to be beautiful and prosperous, we must reunite. We must reclaim the right to be together with other women and create healing experiences. It’s time to stop hiding and invite girls to the table, to the circle. By overcoming these beliefs and reclaiming the sisterly bond, we can heal our wounds and regain the power that has been taken away from us but still lives within us. If you’re interested, come and co-create with us in the Women’s Circle! The next meeting is on June 3rd, click HERE.…
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Feminie Archetypes and how embracing the Wild Woman could change your life

May 8, 2023

For some time now, the goddesses have been calling to me, particularly the archetype associated with the “wild” woman. I have a difficult past, full of trauma and pain, like many of us, and for a long time it was hard for me to see or feel anything else, as I identified so strongly with that suffering. Various therapies, techniques, and methods have helped me on my path to healing, growth, and embodiment, but for some time now, working with archetypes has been close to my heart. Many studies show how helpful acting, role-playing, or embodying different characters or archetypes can be, because they help us see and FEEL in our own bodies that we can be and live differently. There is something called superhero therapy, and trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has long talked about how important acting and theater can be in the healing process. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to embody the role of your favorite superheroine or goddess. How would she move, speak, or exist in her life? How does it feel to be her? There are many archetypes, and I will slowly introduce them to you, but today I want to focus on the wild woman, who can help you reconnect with yourself and feel the inner power that is and has always been within you. Feminine archetypes are universal patterns of behavior, thought, personality and emotion that are associated with femininity. These archetypes have been recognized across cultures and throughout history, and they are often represented as goddesses, mythical figures, or role models for women.The idea of feminine archetypes has its roots in ancient mythology, where goddesses and female deities were revered and celebrated for their unique qualities and powers. Over time, these archetypes have evolved and adapted to changing cultural norms and values. The concept of working with archetypes was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who explored the idea of these archetypes being present in the collective unconscious of all humans. Jung identified several archetypes, including the anima and animus (representing the feminine and masculine aspects of the psyche, respectively), the shadow (representing the darker, repressed aspects of the psyche), and the self (representing wholeness and integration). Jung’s work on archetypes laid the foundation for further exploration of feminine archetypes by subsequent thinkers such as Jean Shinoda Bolen. Jean Shinoda Bolen expanded on Jung’s work on feminine archetypes by identifying specific archetypes, pairing them with goddesses and exploring their psychological and cultural significance. She wrote extensively about archetypes such as the mother, the maiden, and the crone, and argued that recognizing and embracing these archetypes could lead to personal growth and social change. Bolen also emphasized the importance of women’s relationships with one another and the role of the feminine in healing and transformation. Overall, Bolen’s work built on Jung’s framework by providing a more nuanced and detailed exploration of feminine archetypes and their relevance for contemporary women. Bolen’s work on goddesses and archetypes has been influential in feminist spirituality and personal growth movements. These archetypes are not fixed or rigid, and they can be interpreted and embodied in many different ways, depending on an individual’s personal experience and cultural context. Today, many women use these archetypes as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth, drawing inspiration from the stories, myths, movies, and qualities of these powerful female figures. By tapping into these archetypes, women can connect with their own inner strength, creativity, and intuition, and learn to embody these qualities in their own lives. Who is the WILD woman archetype? The wild woman is an archetype that represents the primal, untamed energy within us, and working with her can help us embrace our own wildness and connect with our inner power. Working with the her can also help challenge and break down the patriarchal conditioning and social norms that have suppressed women’s power and expression for the last couple thousand years. The wild woman is often associated with nature, animals, and the wilderness, and she embodies the fierce and unapologetic spirit of the natural world. She is not afraid to speak her truth, express her desires, and follow her own path, even if it means going against the norms of society. Working with the wild woman archetype can help us remember that as humans we come from nature, and to connect with our own inner wildness embracing our true selves. By embodying this archetype, we can tap into our intuition, creativity, and inner power, and live our lives on our own terms, without conforming to societal expectations or looking for external validation. By embracing our inner wild woman, we can start to reclaim our autonomy and challenge these oppressive structures, creating a more equitable society for all. The wild woman archetype invites us to break free from the limiting beliefs and expectations that have held us back and to embrace our MOST authentic Self, which in turn can inspire and empower others to do the same. By embodying the wild woman energy, we can contribute to a larger shift towards authenticity, empowerment, and equality, dismantling these uneven structures from within. Some tips for working with the wild woman: 1. Embrace your intuition, your inner knowing, your instincts, trust your gut, and listen to your inner voice. 2. Connect with your body. Try to move mindfully and sensually, tuning into the wisdom of your body and listen to what it’s telling you. 3. Honor your emotions. Sheinvites us to feel deeply and express our emotions. All your emotions are valid. 4. Embody your inner wildness. She celebrates the untamed spirit within us, express your creativity, and pursue your passions. 5. Connect with nature. We are animals, and like all living beings we come from nature. This can awaken respect and care for nature, inspires sustainability, supports healing and restoration creating a more harmonious future for all living beings. Wild Woman Goddesses from different cultures: Artemis, Pele, Kali, Sekhmet, Morrigan. Remember, working with the wild woman…
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10 ways to can make your yoga classes more trauma-informed

October 11, 2022

Yoga practice isn’t only about the physical yoga shapes. The word yoga comes from “yuj” in Sanskrit meaning to unite – but to unite what exactly? We know that experiencing trauma can lead to a sense of alienation and disconnection from oneself, but “ Yoga is a journey of the self, through the self to the self” as it says in the Bhagavad Gita. Unfortunately not everything that we experience in a modern yoga class aids in this higher goal of our practice, and sometimes the good intentions of yoga instructors can cause more harm than good. Anywhere that yoga is practiced, someone will likely be struggling with trauma. Teaching yoga in a trauma-informed way requires us to make some changes, gain new skills, find compassion and patience. However, starting to view the world from a trauma sensitive lens can be one of the greatest gifts we can give not only to our students but to everyone around us. Why? Because trauma informs everything and most likely everyone who shows up to the mat has experienced some level of traumatisation. Why is it important? In the past couple of years trauma and trauma-informed care has become a new buzzword, but why and what does it all even mean? Maybe the pandemic had something to do with it, because clinical research in this area has been around since the the end of the 19th century (see more about the sexist history of “hysteria” here) but trauma informed care and wisdom are nothing new. It didn’t all start with some old white dudes in akademia, there is ancient indigenous knowledge of how to heal, become embodied and how to process trauma. Simply by becoming aware of how their bodies FELT, ancient humans created tools that made their bodies feel better (spiritual & religious tool like song, dance, prayer, yoga, meditation etc). Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the worlds leading experts in trauma, recognises this fact. Bessel’s book The Body Keeps the Score which was published in 2014 became ranked second in the science category of The New York Times Best Seller in 2019, and as of July 2021, the book had spent more than 141 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List. This should tell you just how widespread this topic has become and if we practice Ahmisa and teach yoga to help in healing, rather than harming, then learning about how prevalent trauma is and it’s impact is a good place to start. We don’t have to question anyone, rather we should just assume that this is a fact and act accordingly. How prevalent is trauma? Often we may think of traumatic events as these “huge” life-threatening stressors like accidents, violence or natural disasters, and yes but not only, trauma is much more common than this and learning some of the statistics can be sobering. A survey done in 24 countries by WHO found that 70.4% people will have experienced lifetime traumas. The CDC statistics from the US report that one in four children experience some type of maltreatment (physical, emotional, sexual or neglect) during their life and one in four women have experienced domestic violence. A study called ACE’s (adverse childhood experiences) found that about 61% of adults surveyed reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE’s (adverse childhood experience) before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more childhood traumatic experiences. Adverse childhood experiences can be experiencing things like abuse, violence or neglect and are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and destructive behaviours like substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. Often these experiences (or lack of ones we should’ve received like stability, safety, love and acceptance) are pushed-away, bottled up or “forgotten” by the mind, but the body keeps the score like Van der Kolk said. How does trauma make us show up in life and can yoga help? Even if we don’t think about it or consciously remember the traumatic event, our body in order to protect us remembers all the sounds, smells, tone of voice and other sensory details associated with what happened and as a result different life circumstances can trigger big emotions to surface. These triggers and how we react to them are highly personal to each person but one was to describe it as being “hijacked” by ones body. THis can feel as if we are being “flooded” with intense emotions, thoughts and physical sensations or by “shutting down” or numbing (disassociating) to escape from feeling. It’s important to remember that neither of these “reactions” are a pathology, rather its our body’s way of adapting and coping, it’s protecting us and helping us to “survive”. When our body perceives threat our sympathetic nervous system gets us ready to fight or flee. But our body doesn’t discriminate, and throughout the day even when we’re hungry it thinks “OMG im going to die” but once you eat or whatever other perceived danger passes we come back into homeostasis, the parasympathetic NS of rest & digest. THis is a normal and necessary process and daily we rise to meet challenges and then calm down. A problem can start if we get “stuck on” or “stuck off” in one of these states and our NS still perceives danger, which literally rewires the brain. The good news is that our brains are plastic and can change during our whole lives so nothing is set in stone. Once we become aware that it’s not the external world but that something is happening inside of us then we can start to take care of ourselves, and one way to do that is through yoga. By yoga I don’t mean only asanas (physical yoga shapes) but also all of yoga philosophy and psychology. In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali wrote “Yoga chitta vritti nirodha”, which means “yoga is the stilling of fluctuations of the mind”- in this our mind, intellect and ego. This tells us what the true essence…
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Agency VS Dependance in yoga

June 26, 2022

Do you have a self practice, or do you only go to yoga classes? Or maybe you like both? We are after all different and have the right to our own preferences but what I don’t agree with however, is teachers who make their students dependant on them (intentionally or unintentionally) and keep them from developing a self practice. There inherently is a power imbalance in the teacher/student relationship but how do we know when this power dynamic is unhealthy? There are things that should be present which can minimise this imbalance, like the teacher leading students towards self discovery, using invitational language and acting as a guide rather than being a know it all yoga “general”. I’m not a psychiatrist but I suspect one of my teachers of being like this and possessing some narcissistic traits.Looking back I see that this person was abusing their role of “authority” and even though the environment was toxic I kept coming back because I thought that this was just how it is n all yoga schools. All the students were ALWAYS doing something “wrong” that had to be “fixed”. Forget about self discovery, there was only one way of doing things, and if you couldn’t do it you’d be pushed and shoved into it so that it could be done “the right way” in “perfect alignment”. In effect this lead me to push myself really hard and hurt myself constantly, it exacerbated my perfectionism and deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy stemming from childhood trauma. But it was also a great lesson, sometimes we can learn more from a “bad” teacher than from a “good” one! Good intentions aren’t always enough and they can hurt people too. I think that its important to be aware how our actions effect others, especially when we are in a position of power. This is what it means to have a trauma informed approach to teaching yoga, its consciously trying NOT to harm our students and empowering them. It’s not about CONTROLLING people, rather helping them find their inner voice and strength so they can make their own decisions. Remember you are the BEST expert of your own body!

The 8 Limbs of Yoga

June 6, 2022

I found yoga by accident, I didnt start practicing to get enlightened. At the time I was really into going to the gym and I used yoga to help me“stretch” after my workout… but before I knew it it, yoga ended up helping me not only transform my body, but also I deep finding deep realisations and in starting my healing journey – uniting my body with my mind and spirit. ❤️‍🩹 Contrary to popular belief Yoga is not just physical postures, there are many ways to practice yoga even off of the mat! If you’re not familiar with the 8 limbs of Yoga (Ashtanga Yoga) of Patanjali, I invite you on this little journey as we delve a little deeper into Yoga Philosophy! Basically, the Eight Limbs of Yoga can help us “get our shit together”, these are stages which can lead us to a deeper knowledge of ourselves, our minds, emotions and our spirit Self. The first limb of Yoga is the 5 Yamas, which talk about external discipline and are roadsigns to a “better” life inside society. It is said that by practicing these Yamas we can gain a deeper sense of self-awareness which in return can help us to transform negative energy and cultivate a deep, abiding sense of peace. The 5 Yamas: ✨ Ahimsa ( non-harming) which means not using violence against ANY living being as well as ourselves. And usually when there is an absence of violence, then arises love and kindness. ✨ Satya (truthfulness) here it is good to remember that sometimes the truth can also hurt, so Satya shouldn’t come into conflict with Ahimsa ✨ Asteya (non-stealing) this isn’t only stealing of physical things, it can also be understood as something like having the desire for something others have (fame, money, ower etc) and that can lead to cruelty and jealousy. ✨Brachmacharya(moderating the senses and the right usage of energy) Traditionally the intention of this Yama was to motivate yogis to conserve their sexual energy, although the word when translated can mean “actions that lead to Brahman”, meaning having behaviour which lead us towards God, higher power, the universe or whatever you want to call it. ✨ Aparigraha (non-possessivenesses, freedom from attachment) so its not about the goal that we are trying to obtain, but about our journey on the way to the goal. Like Krishna said, to not become attached to the outcome of our actions, but instead to concentrate on our actions. Have you ever started comparing yourself to someone or forced your body into a poses that “makes an impact” on others during in a yoga class? That is an example of Aparigraha. Can you think about and reflect on how these 5 Yamas may effect you and the people around you in everyday life? The next limb consists of the 5 Niyamas which are considered to be spiritual tools for internal work for learning how to regulate emotions and perceptions. These are practices which teach us how to care for ourselves and help cultivate happiness as well as self-confidence. ✨SELF-PURIFICATION (SHAUCHA) meaning keeping our body and mind “clean”. Reflection 💡 Do you try to be conscious of the food, emotions and thoughts that come into and arise in your body or do you ignore them? Do you critique yourself for these things or are you able to be understanding? ✨ CONTENTMENT (SANTOSHA) meaning being content with what is, accepting whatever life brings our way. Reflection 💡 Do you find yourself holding on to the past or are you able to let go and live in the present? It’s hard to be content in life if we are disappointed with ourselves and keep trying to “fix” and “improve” ourselves because of past “mistakes” but everything is a process and sometimes letting go of the past is harder than we think so try not to judge yourself, ✨ SELF-DISCIPLINE (TAPAS) meaning “heating up” the body. The fire that comes from Tapas is said to be a able to help us change old habit that no longer serve us, t newer “healthier” ones. Reflection 💡 The fire 🔥 of tapas can be used to replace old habits with new healthier ones. Can you think of something you’ve been wanting to do more regularly but you keep putting it off? Notice your mindset in this process, do you critique yourself because you “failed yet again” or are you kind towards yourself? ✨ SELF-STUDY (SVADHYAYA) meaning getting to know ourselves better, gaining self awareness in a spiritual sense. Reflection 💡 Reading spiritual books or watching movies can be very inspirational if we can learn to incorporate self reflection throughout the day. Can you recognize when you’re acting in harmony with your goals, and when you’re unconsciously countering them? ✨ SELF-SURRENDER (ISHVARA PRANIDHANA) this doesn’t mean to mindlessly give ourselves away to something to someone, but its the process of surrendering to a higher meaning and leaving the fruits of our actions to God,higher power, the universe etc. Reflection 💡 In meditation 🧘‍♀️ do you try to notice the thoughts, sensations and emotions as they arise? Do you ever notice the inner stillness of the present in between them. This experience can help us learn to let go of our attachments, even if just for a moment 😉 I won’t lie, for a long time I lived life without any self reflection. I hurt myself and I hurt many people with my actions, I wasn’t aware of the fact that I had never been taught how to regulate my emotions and so I just “reacted” to life. Often we may race through life without thinking about what’s happening with us or why we act the way we do, or should I say react impulsively. Its only when we begin to notice these things and feel these inner changes happening, can we begin to take care of ourselves and what here. I’m definitely NOT perfect today but through my new found insight on how…
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