They say when the student is ready the master will come but what are we to do when that master turns out to be just a mere mortal like the rest of us? What happens when we find out that he/she is only an imperfect  “human” and not an omniscient and omnipresent being?

Guru under a blanket

In his book “A MIracle of Love” Ram Dass, the late former Harvard proffessor, yogi and spiritual teacher, wrote about life with his Guru Neem Karoli Baba, his students called him Majarajii. Meeting him in 1967 changed his whole life, said Ram DAss. It was only their first time meeting and it was as if he had read his mind when he asked him if he had been thinking of his mother the night prior. Ram Dass answered that he has been, Maharajii just nodded his head saying that he knew this and that his mother had died 6 months ago because of “Spleen”. Thats when something burst inside of him and his heart started to open like a flower. He cried for two days nonstop, asking himself how on Earth could this man have known this? Besides reading minds Majarajii was said to have many other “siddis”, or supernatural powers, but at the same time he claimed to be NOBODY. He was a small toothless man, who could often be found sitting under his favourite blanket, not really your visually picture perfect Guru. Nether the less everything he did and siad acted as a reflection, which showed Ram Dass how much more work he had to do on himself on his spiritual journey. This is the role of the guru, to be the mirror reflection  which helps us to realise the answers are already inside us, that the real guru is us and we are looking at ourselves in the mirror. 

Meditation Master accused of sexual abuse

After returning from India he started travelling across the U.S.A giving lectures about his experiences and learned teachings from the East, and in 1974 he joined a team of professors at the newly founded Naropa Institute(the first Buddhist-Inspired university) ran by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Who would think that a couple years after his death, his son Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche would be asked to step down from his ruling position in Shambhala International, the worlds largest Buddhist network of meditation centers, retreats, universeties and monesteries,because of sexual misconduct allegations dating back to the 90s. The law firm handling the investigation has also received numerous reports of sexual misconduct( including underage children) by other leaders and new victims continue to make themselves heard and police are investigating. All of this has left the people in the community feeling confused, hurt, sad and angry. Afterall, do the teachings that Sakyong was teaching and all that he represented still have any validity after all this has come to the surface? This is a question the Shambhala community is faced with today.

Hot Yoga heats up

In the 70s Bikram Choudhury and his 26 hot yoga poses swept  the nation and at one point there were over 650 studios in the US with teachers repeating his words, in what is called “The Dialogue”. In 2017 the court awarded his former lawyer Minakshi Jafa-Bodden 7 million dollars and she later took control of his business after he had fled the country facing several accounts of alleged sexual assault and discrimination against racial and sexual minorities. Today you can find him in Acapulco in his speedos and gold Rolex, still teaching and training teachers for up to 17,000 dollars each who don’t seem to mind all of the allegations being made against their guru, but then again should they stop doing a practice they have grown to love because of one mans mistakes?

Abuse can wear many masks 

Is It possible to be so blinded by faith or love to not see what is right in front of your eyes? I speak from experience when I say yes. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years back when I was a teenager. It started out as a big  love like in  a Hollywood movie, but gradually it all changed. He started becoming more controlling, he turned me against all my friends and before I knew it I was alone and couldn’t even leave the house without his permission. 

The mental and physical abuse got stronger until finally he punched me in the face breaking my nose. I was so “in love” with him I would have taken him back if he hadn’t have gone to prison, for gun posession. Abusers are master manipulators and have the power to convince you that you are wrong, crazy and that you simply deserve all the abuse.

Uneven power dynamics

In a healthy relationship the “power dyanmics” should be somewhat evenly balanced and in a perfect world the people with more power (including the authority figures, politicians, armies, police as well as all the teachers and Gurus) should be responsible to SERVE the rest. Unfortunatly not everyone can resist the temptation of over using their power and keep their ethics and morality in tact. Especially if they have undiagnosed and untreated trauma. Respecting authority is something we are taught early on in life and all is fine and well until it turns out they were flawed or mentally ill, that’s when the abuse begins.

Should you forgive sexual abuse?

Anneke Lukas was sold as a child sex slave to a pedophile network at the age of 6 by her mother.The network was ran by high ranking political aristocrats. After 5 years of regular rape, she was rescued by someone on the inside. Her long healing journey has lasted over 30 years and consisted of writing, physco-therapy, yoga, meditation and service to other sex trafficking and satanic ritual victims inside and outside of prisons through her non-profit organisation Liberation Prison Yoga. 

She first met K. Pattabhi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga, in 2001 during a workshop in Manhattan, where he grabbed her genitals. She immediately reacted and told him not to do that but the feeling of being violated stayed with her. She saw him some years later and was able to forgive him, saying she saw a lost and hurt little boy when she looked into his eyes. Holding on to that pain was a burden she carried, but  forgiving him was a big milestone in her healing and spiritual journey helping her feel light again.

Of course just because Anneka was able to forgive, doesn’t mean that now we all have to follow in her footsteps. Our readiness to forgive (or NOT to)someone who has hurt us to our core is OUR individual matter, no one else’s. Everyone is different and that is OK. Anneke says on her blog that until we as a global community change this top down power model, where these sick psychopaths are on top and the helpless and innocent  on the bottom, our world will not be a pleasant place to be.

Women speak up

The #METOO movement was key in many women in all sorts ot environments and professions to start coming forward with their stories. Karen Rein and Jubilee Cooke were two of the first women to come forward about the sexual abuse they had lived through by the hands of K.P. Jois. Jubilee studied with him in 1997 for a couple of months and describes her encounters in detail on her blog. Where she writes that he grabbed her genitals while she transitioned from urdhva kukkutasana to chaturanga dandasana, touched her breath in passasana and pushed his genitals into hers in downward dog, to name a few.

Rein speaks abut having similar sexual abuse experiences on her blog and says that  the worst thing is that it was all done in rooms full of people and no one seemed to notice. She really wanted to believe like the others that he was transmitting healing energy through his touch, the trauma and denial was so strong it took her 20 years t speak up about it.

The process of healing from trauma isn’t easy, everyone goes through it differently and healing usually lasts a lifetime. According to the work done by Dr. Stephen W. Porges a key element in healing is having a feeling of safety and the support of a caring community, which is something that these women didnt receive. My heart goes out to all the victims Karen Rein, Annake Lucas, Jubilee Cooke and countless other victims who have been abused in our spiritual  community, in all other communities around the world.

Your body is yours

I have been an Ashtanga practitioner for almost 5 years and after learning about the sexual abuse of K.P. Jois I was in complete shock. On one hand I really loved my practice, I felt that it plus meditation had helped me in my darkest of times and on my journey to healing of addiction, depression and cancer. But on the other hand it was hard for me to accept that behind my spiritual practice, stood the man responsible for doing such horrific things to women.

I have been sexually, mentally and physically abused in my past so I know first hand how trauma effects a person. I tried to numbmy pain for years by abusing drugs, to the point where I almost died. Fortunately years of  therapy, meetings, meditation, mindfulness  and the practice of Ashtanga Yoga have all helped me on my road to recovery and trauma healing. All of these cognitive, somatic and spiritual methods have helped me reconnect to my body from which I was disassociated(separated) from for so long. I started living in the present monet, rather in the traumatic past. But I must admit, that after learning all that I did, the way I practice and teach Ashtanga will never be the same.Now my BIGGEST teacher is my OWN body, and I remind my students to listen to theirs many times during my classes.

Everything changes

Clinical studies done by Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk have shown that yoga when practiced in a mindful way can be an incredible healing modality. It can help us to learn to be present, in reconnecting with the body and all its sensations, in being kind and compassionate towards ourselves and in building resiliency and ways of regulating the Autonomic Nervous System – calming the body and mind. Which is why I believe that its important as yoga teachers to be trauma informed, knowing how it effects the body physiologically and psychologically, so that we DO NOT retraumtatize our students.

Its like the story of good vs. Evil: on one side. a practice which helps many people transform their lives, and on the other the man man responsible for the suffering of many women responsible for it. Can both these things coexist? These are tough questions and tough decisions that we each individually and as a group will have to make going forward, but ignorance and denial  are never a good idea.

I think the best thing to do now is let everything that was hidden away in the dark come to the light, we are only as sick as our secrets and can only start to heal once we get them all out. The last words of the Buddha, “Behold, O monks, this is my last advice to you. All component things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work hard to gain your own salvation. Do your best.” In other words we all have that light inside of us, we are all the guru and separateness is an illusion but we’ve all just forgotten.

How can we shine our light on others?

So what can we do in the midst of this horrible beauty of it all, like Ram Dass used to say. I believe starting with ourselves would be a good bet. Only once we are in the mindful state of loving awareness can we truly listen with our compassionate  hearts, to the stories of the victims, to our families, to our coworkers, to our whole global family including all the sentient beings on the Earth. We all just want to be listened to and respected. If only instead of reacting impulsively we could all just learn to stop and take a breath and reflect for a moment before acting using our neocortex. Then we create the space and chance to RESPOND to situations rather than exploding with emotions, I think the world would be a different place. If we all just took a minute to quiet ourselves to listen to the voice within, we’d find out that we all really do have the best intentions at heart.

What the victims of KPJ want is to be acknowledged and listened to, especially by all the senior teachers who were often practicing along side them while all this was going on. Many of them have spoken out officially confirming the allegations wether its on their websites or on some other social media platforms, but others are saying they never witnessed anything like this and still call him by the name Gurujii. One thing I know for certain is that we can’t change people who don’t want to be changed. All we can do is speak our truth and try to be the light that brightens up the darkness for others. 

Support groups are emerging

It would be a good idea to connect with or create a neutral third party who can help resolve conflict and who can help to protect against sexual assault and abuse within our yoga community .The Zen Center of Pittsburg created a nonprofit called An Olive Branch which is inspired by the tradition of Buddhist teaching that stretches over 2500 years. They hold trainings on creating healthy spiritual communities, helping mediate conflict through meditation and discussion as well as helping fractured communities after ethical misconduct.

Providing processes of healing and restoring  harmony inside oragnizations and communities. They are currently in the middle of helping the Shambhala community and have recently attended an Ashtanga Community Gathering in LA Yoga Club, where they helped create a safe place and listening circle for people to say what’s on their mind and to bring their expertise on the teacher-student relationship. 

In episode 25 of triyoga talks Kino McGregor, a globally recognised Ashtanga Yoga teacher,  talks about this issue and says the need for a third party organisation in our yoga community is huge. She also opens up about the fact that shewas raped by a yoga teacher many years back and had no one to turn to. Kino mentioned of being in the middle of talks with leaders in the yoga world about the idea of potentially creating an organisation like this and that she was in the process of talks with RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) about the possibility of using some of their resources.

Everyone has the right to choose

There has been some talk of using consent cards in yoga studios to give the students more of a voice and choice in wether or not they want to be adjusted that day. You can order them online or make your own if you’re feeling crafty. About a year ago,I made the choice to no longer offer any physical adjustments to my students because I’m aware of just how many traumatised people may come to a yoga class. According to studies in the US alone about 70% of adults have lived through at least one trumatizing event in their lives.

I think the percentages it may be similar in other countries and here in Poland(where I currently live), unforntunalty im not aware of such studies being done. Physical touch, even when with good intention, can trigger a rush of painful memories and emotions in traumatised individuals (thats how it was in my case). Of course I respect the fact that many practitioners may love to get adjustments just like I know that there are many amazing teachers who can really help with their touch. The most important thing here is to have th ability to choose. Students should be aware of the fact that they can SAY NO to physical adjustments, that it is not something required, and that the decision to say NO belongs to them. Trauma, especially sexual trauma, involves a loss of power and a sense of “self”so in order to start healing we must recover a sense of agency and inner strength.

The dark side

It’s hard to talk about these things, I’m sure many people would like to just spiritually bypass it and  sweep it under the rug acting like nothing ever happened. But all these things we store away in the attic aka our subconscious have a way of sneaking up on us when we’re not looking, say hello to the Jungian Shadow. We all have a dark side within us, only shining a light on these dark aspects of ourselves takes away their power. Only honest talking and listening to each other with a compassionate heart and being present in loving awareness can help us.

Zen Master Tich Nhat Hanh put it perfectly when he said “ we are here to awaken from the illusion of seperatness”, and it was Ram Dass who said “Treat everyone you meet like god in drag”. When we look in the mirror we see our body as a whole, as our “self”, what we forget to realize is that our bodies are made up of trillions of cells which are cooperating with each other to make this ingenious creation we call a body run, when will humans realize this applies to us too? What spiritual teachings have been saying for thousands of years quantum physics is finally catching up to.

How it works

Quantum entanglement theory proves just this, how two entangled  particles can be separated by hundreds of miles and whatever you do to one of the particles happens at the same exact time to the other! When we hurt someone else, we are also hurting ourselves. I am optimistic that we will pull through as a human race and as a collective open our eyes to the deeper truth that is inside each of us, that we are one. As Albert Einstein said “A human being is a part of the whole called by us `the Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest, a kind of optical illusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” 

Resources:

https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/buddhism/be-your-own-light.aspx

https://eddiestern.com/on-k-pattabhi-jois/

https://triyoga.co.uk/blog/podcasts/kino-macgregor-yoga-podcast/

AOB Home Default

https://layoga.club/workshops/kinship

The Body Keeps The Score – Bessel Van der Kolk (book)

What is Trauma?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3108032/

https://www.stephenporges.com

https://www.besselvanderkolk.com

http://www.swiatproblemow.pl/cialo-pamieta-o-znaczeniu-ciala-w-terapii-ofiar-przemocy/

https://annekelucas.com

https://www.kinoyoga.com/why-ashtanga-yoga-still-matters-at-least-to-me-by-kino-macgregor/

https://www.yogacitynyc.com/single-post/2016/03/07/Why-The-Abused-Dont-Speak-Up

https://gen.medium.com/yoga-guru-pattabhi-jois-sexually-assaulted-me-for-years-48b3d04c9456

http://magazine.naropa.edu/2014-spring/features/naropa-boulder-love-story.php

https://www.donnafarhi.co.nz/pedagogy-of-abuse/

Why I Left the Mysore Community in 1999 – My Statement

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/bikram-choudhury-sexual-assault_n_5d4dc527e4b0fd2733f0286f

https://www.yogacitynyc.com/single-post/2016/03/07/Why-The-Abused-Dont-Speak-Up

https://www.ramdass.org/how-i-found-out-maharajji-was-my-guru/

https://chopra.com/articles/the-role-of-the-guru

https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/yoga-reconsiders-the-role-of-the-guru-in-the-age-of-metoo

http://www.dlshq.org/download/gurubhaktiyoga.htm

http://sivanandaonline.org/newsupdates/guru-bhakti-yoga/

https://eddiestern.com/on-k-pattabhi-jois/

Shambhala, the Boulder-born Buddhist organization, suppressed allegations of abuse, ex-members say